


Another Side of the Story - Part IV

by unknowableroom_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen, Novel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-24
Updated: 2012-07-05
Packaged: 2019-01-19 20:38:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 83,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12417717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unknowableroom_archivist/pseuds/unknowableroom_archivist
Summary: this is the sequel to Part III. Billie, fully trained as an Occlumens and Animagus leaves France and goes to London to help her brother. But she will need the assistance from someone at Hogwarts to help her with that...





	1. Part IV - Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from ChristyCorr, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Unknowable Room](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Unknowable_Room), a Harry Potter archive active from 2005-2016. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after May 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Unknowable Room collection profile](http://www.archiveofourown.org/collections/unknowableroom).

<b>Part four</b>

 

1

 

Billie started to walk and noticed that she could easily stay in the meadow and follow the road by staying in the shadows of the hedges that bordered it. If she could stay hidden from view like this, she would be able to reach Charleville without being spotted by any passing cars whatsoever. 

And it looked like she was going to be lucky. Hardly any cars drove by in the first place, and she could hear them coming from miles away, so that she had plenty of time to hide behind a tree or a piece of hedge until they had passed.

 

When she reached the outskirts of Charleville, she saw more movement around her. The shops were still open; quite a few people were still entering or coming out of them, and the traffic was quite busy. 

Billie followed the signs marked <i>Centre ville</i> until she found the icon that marked a train station, and in minutes, found herself in front of a huge building that was belching out hundreds of commuters.

Her train was due in a little less than thirty minutes. She bought her ticket at the desk; took some money from a cash dispenser and decided to go straight to the platform. She felt too uncomfortable to wait in the lobby with the other travellers, or to go for a drink in one of the bars. In the last months, she had developed an instinct that told her to stay away from people as much as possible. Besides, she wanted to be alone with her thoughts for a while. 

When she was safely settled in the half-empty compartment, with her bag in the seat next to her and the constant staccato of the train speeding over the rails in her ears, she closed her eyes and spent the biggest part of the journey reliving the events of the last hours and thinking about her months at Francis’ house. She didn’t try to stop the tears that, after a while, came pouring out. From where she was sitting, noone could see her, and what if they could? They didn’t know her, and she didn’t care either. Crying over lost friends was no crime, not even in Voldemort’s new world. 

 

When she had been through the different scenes of her Snape memories one more time and felt her insides ache with so many different emotions that she felt she would suffocate, she opened her eyes again and tried to imagine what life would look like at Hogwarts at this very moment. There would probably be a lot less students now that all muggle-borns had been taken away. And teachers? Were there any muggle-born teachers at Hogwarts? She had no idea. Noone had ever declared themselves to be muggle-born, but then again… what did she know about the teachers? Even Severus was still very much of an enigma to her. 

She wondered what the present students were like. There were hardly any she still knew, apart from Ginny and Harry Potter and his friends of course, but she didn’t imagine those had gone back to school either. Would any of the others be rebelling against the new regime? And would the Carrows suppress the rebellion? She was quite sure they would, and she wondered how Severus was acting. He couldn’t openly support the students, of course, but would he just be standing at the side, pretending nothing was wrong and playing his usual stern self, bringing back law and order to the school as he had said in the paper he would? Or would he be saving students from violence, like he had done with her? 

She felt a stab of jealousy at the thought of another student being looked after by Snape, and she instantly felt ashamed. Being in love wasn’t all kindness and sunshine and daisies. In fact, she had found it quite a painful experience till now. It had been great fun with Fred, but then again… Fred wasn’t Snape, and what she had felt for Fred didn’t even remotely come close to what she was going through when Snape was concerned. 

She sighed and closed her eyes again, but this time she did not allow her thoughts to wander back to the events in the Hogwarts room all those weeks ago. She forced herself to enter a state of deep concentration and with a tremendous effort, pushed every single one of those memories as far away from her mind as she could. 

 

The train arrived at a deserted station in Calais. 

Billie checked her watch. It was shortly after ten. The ferry left in half an hour. If there were no delays, she should be able to catch the last train from Dover to London, and arrive in the City in the middle of the night. Or she could book a hotel in Dover, or here in Calais, and take the train to London in the morning. 

She pondered on this for a moment. The idea of being stuck in London in the middle of the night, with nowhere to stay and without even knowing what she would find there, wasn’t a very attractive one. On the other hand, she was going to travel between Dover and London as a bird, and that would be more difficult during the rush hour, when the train was full of commuters, than at this time of night. Furthermore, looking for a hotel in Dover was no attractive option either. Francis had told her that all harbours and airports were constantly being watched by Voldemort’s followers, in case any muggle-born wizards tried to leave the country, and consequently, all hotels in the harbour towns were unsafe. 

She decided to make the trip to London straight away. The train station in Calais was quite deserted, but there were cameras everywhere, so she followed the signs to the public toilets. 

The cubicles had no complete doors, and that suited her perfectly. As soon as she had entered one of them, she transformed and flew away through the gap between the door and the ceiling. She managed to leave the station completely unnoticed. A short way ahead of her she could see the many lights of the port where the P&O ferry lay waiting for its last passengers of the day. 

 

She felt her tiny robin heart beat a little quicker when she approached the enormous ship. There were no seagulls or any other birds circling it. She had no idea if seagulls ate robins, but she was glad they were absent anyway. 

She looked down and decided that the upper deck would be the best place for her to land and hide. It was completely deserted, far away from the passengers and crew and well out of the captain’s sight. 

With a sigh of relief, she landed in a dark corner of the deck and transformed. It all ran as smoothly as she could have hoped. 

She sat down on what looked like a metal platform. From somewhere deep below came the faint sounds of arriving cars and trucks, and the shouted instructions of the ship’s crew. She reflected that being able to transform into a small bird was probably the best piece of luck she could have had. If she had been a cat, or a dog, it would have been far more difficult to travel by ferry or train unnoticed. 

She shivered. The wind was quite cold up here. She took her bag and took out a warm fleece jumper. It wasn’t exactly an elegant piece of attire but a very welcome one, and good enough for the trip to London. The moment she was going to Downing Street she would have to change into a more elegant suit, but there was still time enough for that. 

She wondered if she would be able to find a hotel in London without too much trouble. The idea of strolling the streets until the time was decent enough to call Peter did not appeal to her at all. She was tired already. In all the weeks she had spent with Francis, she had become used to his strange rhythm of getting up and going to sleep with the chickens, which, in these dark winter days, meant that she was usually in bed by six at the latest. Add to this the tension of the past twenty-four hours and the emotions she had been through, and she could only wish she was in a warm bed, with the blankets pulled up to her chin and sinking into a couple of hours of delightful oblivion. 

She pulled her coat a little closer to her and shivered again. The ship had left the port already and was now following the French coastline before it would turn towards the wide sea on its way to England. 

A sharp gust of wind was blowing full in her face. If she was going to stay here for the next ninety minutes, she was very likely to catch a cold. And she doubted she would be of much use to Peter if she sat sneezing and coughing over him all the time. Besides, if she had the chance to visit Severus, she definitely didn’t want to meet him with a running, red nose and watery eyes, especially since she had far from looked at her best the last couple of times he had seen her. 

Ah Severus… what would he be doing now? She had no idea. What did the teachers do in the evenings? Did they meet for drinks? Play games? Spend the night conjuring rabbits and doing other muggle-inspired tricks? She chuckled at the very thought of

It. In any case, Severus was not likely to find himself in a lot of company. He was probably not very popular with the staff, and she couldn’t imagine that he would want to spend more time than was strictly necessary in the Carrows’ company. 

Poor Severus. If he was on their side, and noone knew it, he had to be very lonely with nobody he could trust around him. 

Oh dear… there she was again, becoming sentimental over Severus. She really had to push all thoughts of him aside, and sitting here, alone in the dark, with nothing else to do than to think was not going to be very helpful. So she got up, and decided to go inside. Perhaps the deck underneath this one would give her some protection against the cold. 

 

She found a door at the other side of the platform on which she had been sitting, and was just about to push it open, when the sound of voices met her from the room behind it. 

She automatically withdrew her hand from the door knob and hid in a sort of alcove she found at her back, but nobody emerged from the room. Very cautiously, she shuffled towards the front side of the ship and then realised that she had very nearly entered the pilot house. She cursed under her breath and legged it to the other side of the deck on tiptoes, and that was none too early. She had only just reached the dark shadows of a smokestack when the door opened and what she thought was a navigator officer came out. 

For a split second she feared he had heard her and was coming to inspect the deck. But then a match was lit and she understood that the man had just come out for a smoke. 

As she stood shivering in the dark she realised for the first time how awfully time-consuming smoking could be. The cigarette seemed to last forever. The smokestack did not offer any protection against the icy wind that had dramatically risen, now that the ship was sailing at full sea. To her horror, she suddenly felt an irresistible prickling in her nose. If she was to sneeze now, she would unmistakably reveal her cover. 

For a split second, she considered transforming into a bird again, but then the man threw away his cigarette. 

He had just entered the room and closed the door behind him again, when Billie couldn’t stop herself anymore and sneezed a hearty sneeze that went completely lost in the sound of the howling wind and of the rolling waves against the prow. 

She checked her watch. They still had about an hour to sail and since there was no way of leaving this deck in any other way than through the pilot house, she would have to fly to the lower deck as a bird. So she transformed, and without any difficulty at all managed to enter the cheerfully lit passengers deck unnoticed through an open lavatory window. She finished the rest of the journey in a corner of a nearly deserted bar and left the ship through the same window as soon as it entered the port of Dover.

 

The train journey to London was as much a piece of cake as the boat trip. As soon as she had entered the train and transformed, she didn’t even have to hide in the toilet to escape the ticket collector. There simply wasn’t any, or if there was, he was not doing his round. At this time of night, the train was mostly deserted anyway. 

By the time she had finally reached London, she was so tired that she didn’t even hesitate about booking a hotel anymore. She wanted to take the tube straight to the City and enter the first hotel she came across. 

But just as the train came to a halt and she was grabbing her bag to leave, she caught the sound of voices just outside her compartment. She couldn’t understand what they were saying, but the tone sounded unpleasant and for some reason it alarmed her. So she quickly opened one of the small upper windows, checked if noone was looking and transformed. Then she flew up to the luggage rack and with a pounding heart sat listening to what was being said, or rather shouted, for the two or three voices she could distinguish sounded highly agitated. 

From where she was sitting she could only see the upper part of a man’s face. She could also hear the urgent whispering of a female voice. But she couldn’t see who they were talking to. 

“But we’re called Thomas! Do you have any idea how many Bernard Thomasses there are in Britain? It can’t be us on your stupid list!”

“And what is this doing in your pocket, then eh? Trying to sneak away with a stolen wand and pretending to be a wizard!”

At the use of these words, Billie’s worst fears came true; she was sitting at less than a foot from a Snatcher and what was probably a muggle-born couple on the verge of being arrested.

“I am a wizard. We all are. My nephew’s at Hogwarts”. 

“Yes I can see that on my list. Dean Thomas he’s called eh?” The Snatcher gave a very unpleasant snort, “As little of a wizard as you are. Of course, he’s not at Hogwarts anymore. We don’t want that thieving scum in our schools… Come to think of it… he hasn’t turned himself in yet. Probably did a runner. Now there’s a good idea. Why don’t you come with me and tell me where he is, your dear nephew? We’d love to meet him”. 

“I don’t know where he is and we’re definitely not coming with you!”

“Oh, yes, you are. In fact, it’s high time we went. See, the guard’s coming this way. <i>Imperio!”</i>

And to Billie’s horror, she saw a vacant expression coming into the man’s eye, and without any form of protest, he turned around, stretched his arm, probably to get hold of his wife’s arm, and followed what Billie could now see was a younger man, wearing a long, leather coat and heavy boots.

 

She waited a couple of moments until she was absolutely sure the trio had left and the platform was deserted, and then flew through the window, the hall and the tunnels, where the staircases rolled down towards the underground station below.

 

She was still transformed when she finally emerged from the Whitechapel tube station, and only took her human form again at the entrance of a hotel she knew to be most popular with business men. She hoped that the Snatchers would not be interested enough in foreign muggles to constantly patrol this type of hotels. 

 

She was lucky. The night porter at the desk seemed quite normal and was in fact very helpful. They still had a couple of rooms left, he said. Billie, who had addressed him with a heavy French accent, signed the register under a false name, Françoise Beausite, and counted herself lucky not to be asked to show an identification. 

Then, after she had received her key and walked away from the desk, she took the elevator up to her room and let a deep sigh of relief when she closed the door behind her. After a quick shower she dropped down on the bed. She was asleep in seconds. 

 

“Peter, it’s me, Billie”. 

“Billie! I thought you were in France. Where are you calling from?”

“The Tower Tube. I got here last night”. 

“So you’re in London! Oh thank God for that!” Her brother sounded indeed immensely relieved, “When can we meet?”

“Any time, but the question is where? Can I come to see you at the office?”

“No, that’s not a good idea… You see… well, I’ll explain later. Do you know The chocolate Bar in Regent Street?”

“No, but I suppose I can find it”. 

“Good, well meet me there at.. ten thirty. OK?”

“Yes, perfect”. 

“Excellent, cheers then”. 

“Yeah, bye”

 

Ten thirty was not too bad. She had had breakfast in her room, but there was still two hours left. So she walked to the bathroom, opened the tabs and went for a long, relaxing bath. If she had missed one thing at Francis’ house, it was the luxury of being able to soak herself until her legs were numb and her skin so wrinkled that she felt like an eighty-year old. 

After her bath, she took a long while to change into a sophisticated, French business woman. The incident with the Snatcher had made her realise how serious the situation was and how careful she had to be. Pretending to be a French muggle would hopefully not draw the Snatchers’ attention towards her too much. 

She sighed and inspected her reflection again. In fact, having lived so many months in a remote French farm, with an old, not too clean man and all sorts of small and big animals around her, had given her a rather wild and shabby look. She had hardly taken care of her hair in those months, so that now it had grown several inches more and was standing at all ends, which, together with the healthy blush on her cheeks, didn’t at all make her look unbecoming but very unsuitable for the task she had at hand. 

She spent a long time flattening and tying together the thick mass of curly locks into an elegant bun. Then she carefully ironed the women’s suit and blouse which, on the spur of the moment, she had bought in Charleville a couple of weeks before, together with the high-heeled shoes and the neat panties. After she had applied just enough make-up to hide the last traces of rural life, she closely inspected her reflection in the wardrobe mirror and had to admit that she looked a completely different person. 

Then she picked up her bag and hesitated. 

An urban lady was not supposed to be wearing a shabby rucksack, but she didn’t trust her transfiguration skills enough to change it into a nice leather case. The problem was that she couldn’t leave it behind either. She needed her winter clothes, especially when she was going to spend the next days in Scotland, for which the weather forecast looked little promising. Furthermore, her bag contained valuable things like her anti-polyjuice potion spray, the wand she had retrieved from Terence Higgs, and a set of herbs and potions she might be needing in all sorts of situations. 

She took out all the items one by one until she hit upon the small leather handbag she used to wear when she was still working at the Ministry, and she got an idea. She was lousy at transfiguration, but she could perform a perfect diminutive spell. 

It wasn’t long before she had transformed the jeans, jumpers, winter coat and boots into tiny little versions of themselves, so that they all fitted nicely in her handbag, together with the spray and other flasks she had brought with her. Then she double-checked if all was packed; threw a last glance at her elegant self in the mirror, opened the door and left for the reception desk, where she would check out as Françoise Beausite.

 

“The thing is that I can’t put the finger on what exactly it is that is so threatening,” said Peter as they were sitting opposite each other with two beakers of chocolate latte between them, “I mean, there is this bloke, Degalus, who joined us a couple of weeks ago and who definitely looks dodgy, but I can’t really say what exactly makes him suspicious. And there are these incidents, you know, the PM being involved in a car crash, which has never happened before, and me being followed after work. But there’s nothing really concrete”. 

“Have you been to the police when you were followed”. 

“No, of course not. By the time I realised I had been followed by the same car ever since I had left the office and changed course, they had disappeared. They’re no idiots, of course. And I can hardly walk into a police station and charge an unknown person for a non-committed act, can I”. 

“But you do have special protection? A man in your position has someone to look after them, don’t they?”

“I could have a driver-bodyguard yes. But I’ve always refused to have one. Overkill, isn’t it?”

“Not sure. If you feel threatened, I don’t think it’s overkill at all”. 

“Perhaps… anyway, I’m glad you’re here, cos I think you could help us”. 

“How? It all sounds rather vague to me”. 

“I have a gut feeling… a very strong one… and uncle Richard agrees with me, that somewhere, somehow, something is plotted against us. And the circumstances of the PM’s car crash were so strange, that I couldn’t help thinking some magic was involved”. 

“Why? What happened?”

“His driver was taking him along a perfectly straight road, in the middle of the day, with perfect sight and no traffic at all, and all of a sudden, he lost control over his steering wheel and the car landed on its side in the ditch”. 

“Yes, well, that can happen, can’t it? He was probably distracted; or texting or something”. 

“He was doing nothing of the kind. Vic’s a brilliant and conscientious driver and nothing could make him lose control over his steering wheel”. 

“Hm… perhaps…” she looked doubtful, “and what else?”

“Well, as he was crossingDowning street, Uncle Richard was nearly overrrun by a car which he swore had not been on the road when he started to cross the street. It wasn’t parked anywhere near either – you can’t park in front of the PM’s residence – and it hadn’t been driving in the street”; 

“Perhaps it came from a side street, at high speed”. 

“Impossible. The constable who was standing on duty at the house said that he had definitely not heard any sound of an approaching car whatsoever; and the nearest side street was completely deserted at the time Uncle Richard arrived at Downing street, which was at 2 am, by the way”. 

“I see… so what can I do about it then?”

“I think you should try to find out what they are up to. We’re convinced that some underground organisation is at work, even from within the office, and I was hoping that you could use your network to find out what exactly it is they’re up to”. 

“My network,” she laughed incredulousy, “I don’t even have one”. 

“Oh yes, you have.” Peer nodded vigorously, “Isn’t your favourite teacher involved in that dark business? Didn’t you say that he was a Death Beater?”

“A Death Eater,” she corrrected him, “Yes, my professor is a Death Eater, and in reality on the right side. Or at least the last time I saw him. But that doesn’t mean he will take me into his confidence. I’m not even sure he knows about this organisation or whatever it is. He’s not directly involved in that business, since he’s now Headmaster at Hogwarts”. 

“But if anyone could give you information, or knows where to find it, it would be him, no?”

“Perhaps…”

“Hm… “ he sipped from his cocoa so deep in thought that he didn’t even feel the creamy moustache it had left on his upper lip. It was a problem he had had ever since childhood. 

Billie took a napkin and wiped it away for him. 

“Thank you, I can’t remember the last time you did that to me”. 

“I mainly remember times when I deliberately kept silent and left you looking like an idiot”, she smiled.

“Preferably when I left for one of my dates” he sniggered, “Anyway, I think you should go to Scotland. It’s no use smuggling you into the office: it would be suspicious to have yet another employee starting in an office that hardly ever changes, and if anyone recognised you, all would be lost”. 

“Does anyone know that you suspect evil plans are being knocked together against the PM?”

“No, only uncle Rich and myself. I don’t trust anyone”. 

“But then… suppose I managed to get hold of Severus and …”

“Who?”

“Sev… Professor Snape”

“Oh, on first-name terms, are we?”

“More or less,” she blushed, “Anyway, suppose I get hold of him and he tells me about such plans, which is supposing a lot, you know”. 

“If you’re on first name-terms with a Hogwarts Professor, especially one I clearly remember being referred to by yourself as an exceptionally nasty piece of work, then I’m sure he’ll share all his secrets with you. Possibly even a lot more”. 

Her blush turned a darker red. “Idiot…! Well, what do I do then?”

“Come back here and inform me, of course”. 

“Is your mobile safe?”

“Yes, and the internet too. I’m called Bluehawk2030, and you know what my password is”.

“How should I kn… oh… it’s not <i>Sandrine</i> anymore, is it?”

“Of course it still is”. 

She looked at her elder brother in wonder. It was hard to believe that a man who, since early adolescence, had constantly enjoyed his phenonemal success with girls to the full, should be so helplessly and tragically in love with the same woman for years. 

“Have you been in touch with her lately?”

“Constantly. Or at least when I was in Rome. I doubt she will ever come to visit me in London. And she’s seeing someone else. And if she wasn’t, she wouldn’t be interested in me anyway. She’s always been very clear about that”. 

“Well at least she’s honest”. 

“Yeah, that’s what makes me love her even more. Anyway, are you going to Scotland?”

Her heart gave a leap. Francis would have been deeply disappointed by her total lack of Occlumency at that moment. 

“I suppose I have no other choice”

“Don’t pretend it’s a sacrifice”, he teased her, “You’re beaming like a sunbed. You should thank me for the opportunity I’m offering you!”

“Not really,” she smiled, “I was going to pay him a visit anyway”.“Of course you were!” he laughed, “I’ve known you ever since you were born, you know, and you haven’t changed a bit”

“But not straight away…” 

He lifted a questioning eyebrow. 

“I have to know exactly what’s going on in the streets first,” she explained, “I very nearly walked into the arms of a Snatcher, the ones who hunt down muggle-borns and get them arrested or worse. So before I travel to a highly protected and no doubt constantly watched place like Hogwarts, I must know the best way to get there and to enter it. So I have to get in touch with my friends”. 

“How are you going to do that?”

“I’ll fl… “ she could only just stop herself from saying <i>fly</i>, which would have been another unforgivable mistake. Francis had stressed the importance of secrecy about her animagus skills many times. She really had to be more careful and focused when she was in the company of people she normally trusted. “I’ll find a way, I was going to say. London’s a crowdy place”. 

“I’m not sure I like that”. 

“Noone does, but these are times where people like us have very little left to like… Well I suppose I’d better pack and leave then,” she said as she came to her feet, “Are you paying for this?”

“Erm, yes… “

“Why are you hesitating?” she laughed, “I suppose it’s Government expense, no? After all, I’m serving our PM’s interest here”. 

“Yes, you’re right, and I tell you what, I’ll cover your expenses for the trip too. Hand me your notes afterwards”. 

“We don’t pay for apparition, really, but thanks anyway. Have to be a bit careful now that I’m unemployed and not likely to get a Ministry of Magic benefit. Except if I wanted free lodging and meals in Azkaban”. 

“What’s that?”

“Never mind,” she kissed him on his cheek, “See you in a couple of days I suppose. I can’t text from Hogwarts of course, but I’ll try to find another way to get in touch. Otherwise, just wait and I’ll turn up sooner or later”. 

“Good. Be careful”. 

“You too”

“What if you get caught? Or don’t survive the trip?”

“You know, there’s nothing like a trusting and positive-minded brother like yourself. I really have a feeling that nothing can go wrong anymore. Thanks so much for that!”. 

“No need to be sarcastic, it’s mad out there”. 

“I know. But your office isn’t exactly a playground either, is it? So you’d better be careful yourself. You can’t even do magic”. 

He pulled an ugly face. “As if pulling a rabbit out of a hat is going to do the trick”. 

“Who knows. I bet none of those Death Eaters has ever seen that. They might be scared to death by your rabbit. Bye!”

And with a radiant smile that contrasted sharply with the discomfort she felt inside, she left him at the doorstep of the Chocolate Bar.


	2. Part IV Chapter 2

2

 

It was colder than she had expected. A nasty wind hit her face and she shivered in her suit as she made her way towards the tube station. 

She melted with the crowd of sales hunters and tourists, and that suited her perfectly; she felt herself wonderfully covered as she left the station and climbed the stairs towards Charing Cross Road. 

But as soon as the crow thinned out, she slowed down her pace and nervously started to scan the area around her for potential Death Eaters and Snatchers. However, there didn’t seem to be any around and if there were, they were very well disguised. The people around her all looked very much like muggle shoppers, and all of them were wearing normal muggle combinations, although having witnessed a little of the thoroughness with which Voldemort’s followers operated, she’d be surprised if any of them should make their fellow-wizards’ mistake of combining pieces of muggle clothes in an awkward way. 

 

When she was close to the little alley that lead to the Leaky Cauldron, she sought cover in the porch of a small church, out of view of any passers-by or houses at the other side of the street, and transformed. Then she flew straight to the wizard pub and sat waiting on the sign board until the door would open to let someone in or out. 

She had to wait for quite a while before an elderly wizard turned up. He was wearing a thick cloak and that was excellent for her: as soon as he had passed underneath her, she made for the inside of his billowing cloak and held on to it with the little claws she had clasped into its fabric.

Fortunately, the wizard had not entered the pub with the purpose of having a beer or something to eat. Billie couldn’t see where he was heading for but judging from the distance he walked, she supposed he was on his way towards the little courtyard where the entrance to Diagon Alley lay hidden. 

 

As soon as she saw the cobbled stones passing underneath her, she took a deep breath and praying that noone would notice how a little bird came flying from underneath the man’s cloak, unhooked her claws and escaped. 

She was lucky. There was so little going on in the street that not one shopper was to be seen within a range of several feet from the man. Still, and even more dangerous in her present state, several hungry-looking cats were prowling the street in the hope of catching a morsel of meat or other food from the few people who visited Diagon Alley these days, so she had to be very careful not to end up underneath one of their paws. She therefore took off and flew straight to the brightly coloured building of Weasley’s Wizzard Wheezes. 

 

Flying in was a piece of cake, since the window at the back stood ajar. She had to make a mental note of warning the twins against this. As she had just proved, any smaller species of animagus could easly fly, crawl or slide in and out. 

The room was deserted. She hesitated a little before she transformed and then walked to the door on tip-toe to see if she could hear or see anything from what was going on in the shop. 

Before she could peer through the hole, however, someone with the intention of entering the backroom threw open the door with full force, making her painfully collide with the door handle, and caused her to lose her balance and end up eagle-spread on the floor. 

“Billie!” came George’s astonished voice,” What on earth…?” but then he realised she was being exposed to the shoppers inside and quickly closed the door behind him. “Are you all right?” he asked as he helped her getting up. 

“Apart from a black eye and a concussion…” she muttered, carefully feeling the painful bruise that was rapidly appearing on her brow, and then smiled. “But it’s great to see you!”

His concerned face instantly broke into a wide grin and he took her into a heartwarming hug. “Great to see you too! Where have you been? We were worried about you!”

“Long story. What happened to your ear?”

“Long story too. Kept an ear to the ground, sort of”. 

“What?”

“Never mind,” but when he caught her puzzled look he laughed, “A Death Eater wanted to blast me off my broom, but he didn’t get any further than my ear”. 

“You’re kidding!”

“I wish I was! The sad truth, though”.

“And why was he after you?”

“We were escorting Harry back to the Burrow. And he wasn’t chasing me. He was after Harry and I looked like him”. 

She look more confused now. 

“There were seven of us, looking like Harry… well, Harry included and six Aurors to accompany us. But the Death Eaters found us out and we were attacked during the trip”. 

“But that’s horrible!” Billie gasped. 

“Yes, we lost Mad-Eye Moody, and half an ear, but it could have been a lot worse. Anyway, how did you get in?” he asked instead, “I thought this window was locked”. 

“It stood ajar”. 

“Yes, but it was locked in that position”. 

She shrugged. “I slipped through. And you’d better be careful. Anyone could do the same”. 

George cast a look of incredulity at her and walked to the window. It was indeed still locked in its half open position. 

“But that’s impossible. You can’t have passed through this!”

“Well I could. And anyway, I’ll explain later. Where’s Fred?”

“He’s in the shop. Oh here he is”. 

Fred had indeed come into the room in search of his brother and was even more pleased to see Billie than George had been. It felt terribly good to be back and enjoy their uncomplicated and never-ceasing sense of humour.

When George was called back into the shop, they sat down opposite each other at the small table, on which all sorts of boxes, flasks and jars stood gathered together, ready to be tested. 

“That’s a nice black eye you’ve got there,” remarked Fred, “Matches the colour of your suit. Where did you get it?”

“Ask your brother”, Billie replied dryly, “He caused it”. And when she caught his bewildered expression she grinned, “He opened the door a tiny bit too enthusiastically”

“Oh, eavesdropping, were you? Anyway, this calls for our ingenious bruise-remover paste”. He got to his feet and walked to one of the cabinets out of which he took a jar that contained a fluorescent, thick paste. 

‘Are you sure I should apply this?” she asked hesitantly, “I won’t end up with my face covered in boils, will I?”

He raised his eyebrows in mock-offense “Do I detect of spot of distrust at my brother’s and my own potion-brewing skills, Miss Matthews? Why are you dressed like a nun anyway?”

“<i>A nun?!</i>”

“I thought that’s what nuns look like, don’t they? In any case, it’s no wizard robes. Aren’t you afraid of being snatched?”

“Yep, and that’s why I didn’t walk in through the front door in this outfit”. 

He gave her a non-understanding look.

“Listen, Fred, “ she explained and she was dead serious now, “I’ve been away to France to become an Animagus”. 

“I thought you had gone to McGonnagle for that?”

“Yes, but… well… things happened and I was sent to France. And you have to promise me not to tell anyone that I succeeded in becoming one. It’s illegal. Will you do that?”

“I won’t tell anyone. Except for George of course”, he promised, “And we like illegal stuff over here. It’s our core business nowadays… But an animagus…! Wow, Billie, that beats it all!”

“Yes, yes,” she said dismissively, “I’m a bird, by the way. That’s how I was able to fly in. And for Merlin’s sake, close that window! Any other animagus in beetle, worm or bird format could walk in”. 

He instantly got to his feet and did as he was told.

“So you went to France to study this,” he said as he sat down again, “And what are you going to do now?”. 

Billie bit her lip. She trusted Fred completely of course, more than anyone else in the wizarding world, except for Emily peraps, but revealing the immense secret of Snape’s double role was asking too much. If he were captured, and tortured, or if a Legilimiens forced him to reveal his secrets, the whole wizarding world would be in deep trouble. 

“Look,” she said, “I can’t give you any exact details. But I must go to Hogwarts”. 

“Hogwarts? What on earth for?”

“I’ve told you. I can’t explain. But I have to go there, so I must find a way to get there safely and be able to enter the castle unnoticed”. 

Fred whistled softly through his teeth. “But Billie, that’s mortally dangerous! And who do you want to meet there anyway? Can’t you get in touch with them in any other way?”

“Do you know a safe way to get in touch with a teacher or a student, without being overheard?”

“No”, he admitted, “because there simply isn’t one”. 

“So I can’t do anything else than go there in person, can I?”

He shook his head. “All roads and means of transport are constantly being watched, especially the ones leading to the castle. You do know that all muggles have to register themselves and are being arrrested if they don’t?”

Billie nodded. “What else is going on?”

“Oh, all sorts of things. For one thing, never speak You-Know-Who’s name ‘cos the name’s been tabooed”

“And what does that mean?”

“As soon as you pronounce it, Snatchers will come and arrest you. It’s to do with Harry. He’s one of the very few who systematically uses his name, and by putting this taboo on it, You-Know-Who hopes to locate Harry”. 

“So Harry’s still on the run, isn’t he?”

Fred nodded. “Yes. Even my sister doesn’t know where he is and she’s his girlfriend. She hasn’t been sitting still either. Have you heard what she did a couple of weeks ago, in Snape’s room?”. 

She had become so used to it by now that she hardly noticed the painful twitch her stomach made. “No. What did she do?”

“She broke into his office with a couple of classmates to steal Gryffindor’s sword”. 

“His sword? What on earth for?”

“Dunno, but apparently Harry’s been looking for it, and Ginny happened to know that it was kept at the Headmaster’s office”. 

“So they broke into his office and stole it?” Billie repeated incredulously, “Jeez… I hardly knew where the Headmaster’s office was until McGonnagle took me there, let alone consider breaking into it!”. 

“Yes, well… that’s Ginny for you,” said Fred, not without some pride, “She’s quite a piece of work when she has her mind on something. Anyway, they failed”. 

“What do you mean?”

“Snape hit upon them as they were leaving his office. They were punished”. 

Billie kept her face neutral, but inside, her heart had switched over to a higher pace. “Really? And what did he do to them?”

“Sent them to the Forbidden Forest, and that’s quite a joke, really. It takes more to scare Ginny than a couple of trees and a few dodgy creatures”. 

“The Forbidden Forest is a bit more than that. There’s werewolves and giant spiders in it”.

“Yes, but Snape sent Hagrid with them, the idiot. And Hagrid is as much at home amongst these creatures as you and I are in the Burrow’s kitchen”.So Severus had deliberately chosen a mild punishment. She found it hard not to openly smile at this obvious proof of his good intentions.

“And what else is going on?” she asked. 

“Oh, loads… Do you know the Hog’s Head at Hogwarts? You know, where we met for the DA?”

“I wasn’t there during that meeting, but yes, I know the place. What about it?”

“The landlord supports our silent protest. Apparently, Neville Longbottom and Ginny have managed to escape from the Carrow’s punishments through a secret passage we had never known to exist”. 

“Which is a miracle, really”, remarked Billie, “You know all the a passageways and hidden rooms in the castle like the inside of your pocket”. 

“Yes, well this one escaped our attention. Logically. Noone would dream of walking into the Hog’s Head and ask for a way to get into Hogwarts unnoticed”. 

“So how did they find out about it then?”

Fed shrugged. “I don’t know. I suppose they hit upon the entrance by coincidence and ended up at the Hog’s Head unintentionally. By the way, there’s also a curfew these days”. 

“A ban on gatherings after sunset you mean?”

“More than that. You’re not even allowed to go outside after dark,” explained Fred, “And that’s a pain in the backside in these dark, winter days”. 

“I will have to make sure I’m inside when the sun sets then,” said Billie thoughtfully, “Not easy, if I intend to take the Hogwarts Express to Hogwarts. How do they trace you?”

“Especially when you apparate, but all sorts of Snatchers and other creatures patrol the streets at night. As soon as they spot any movement, they go after it”. 

“Nice! So you can’t even take your dog out”. 

“Nope. So going to Hogwarts is practically impossible. There’s no way you will be able to pass any guards without being asked to show an identification which proves that you’re at least half-blood”. 

He studied her disappointed face for a while. “Can’t you fly? You’re a bird”. 

“Not all theway up to Scotland”. 

“But who do you want to meet at Hogwarts? You’re not after Harry are you? Harry’s not there”. 

“I know, and of course I’m not after Harry”. She sighed deeply. “Peter is Chief of Staff to Uncle Richard now… you know… our muggle Prime Minister. They’re both in danger. We have strong beliefs that Death Eaters are planning an attack on them, well.. on the PM in the first place, but to get to him they will probably have to kill my brother first”. 

“Or imperius him. That’s what they did with Pius Thicknesse at our Ministry”. 

She stared at him in shock. “Merlin, I haven’t thought of that!”

“And through him, they could find out all about us and… well… anything”. 

“Exactly…” she said slowly, “So then… perhaps I should stay at the Ministry in the first place, just in case someone tried to imperius Peter, or any other high official?”. 

“Hm… dunno… Can you stop an Imperius Curse?”

“No… no, … I can’t”, she admitted

“Well, then… it’s not much use sitting there if you can’t stop them, is there? It’s not as if you’ll jump between Peter and the Death Eater. Besides, they’ll probably make sure they’re alone with him when they plan an attack”

“Probably… so what should I do then?”

Fred took a while to reflect on this, and so did Billie. As they both sat racking their brains, the faint sounds of voices reached them from the shop, but it was so low that Billie couldn’t imagine there could me more than a handful of people inside. So even Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes was finally suffering from the low business activity in Diagon Alley these days. 

Finally, it was Fred who spoke. 

“First of all, I think you should warn Peter. Tell him to make sure he’s always surrounded by people when he’s at work, and to be very careful when it comes to strangers, or people behaving strangely”. 

“Yes, I could have thought of that myself, but that’s not very foolproof, is it?”

“No, but meanwhile, I will ask Dad to inform Kingsley Shacklebolt. He could install one of his Aurors at the Muggle Ministry. At least, they know how to deal with this. And then you can do whatever it is you have to do at Hogwarts… I still can’t see what Hogwarts has to do with an attack on the Prime Minister, though”. 

She hesitated. “I need information”. 

“Information about these plans for an attack?”

She nodded. 

“But there’s nobody at Hog… oh, wait… “ and his face changed completely as it started to dawn on him who she was planning to see, “No!…. <i>no</i>, Billie! You can’t do this! You’re not going to see Snape, are you? Merlin!”

“Fred, listen…”

“No, Billie! You can’t! For God’s sake… the man killed Dumbledore! He’s a creep. He’s the worst of them all!”. 

Billie shook her head, but with Fred ranting and raving about all of Snape’s evil characteristics and deeds, she didn’t manage to get one word properly said, and finally she gave up. 

“Are you finished now?” she asked after a long while. 

Fred sent her a furious look, but since he had run out of insults and arguments, he couldn’t do much more than nod curtly.

“Good. And are you willing to listen to a story? You’ll have plenty of time to give me your opinion on it afterwards, but you must let me finish first. And promise me you won’t breathe a word of this to anyone, not even George”. 

“All right, all right… get on with it”. 

“Right. Well… you know that I went to see McGonnagle about this Animagus thing. She discovered that I probably had a talent, but before she could properly test it, two Death Eaters came to visit her, accompanied by Snape. Snape told her to make room for him because he had just been appointed Headmaster. And he sent me away, together with those Death Eaters”. 

“Did he leave you in the hands of the Carrows?” Fred asked incredulously, “The bas…”

“Wait! I’ve told you not to interrupt me!”

Fred angrily crossed his arms and kept his lips firmly pressed together. 

“He sent me away with the Carrows”, Billie continued, “but told them to keep me alive because he wanted to see me afterwards or something. Anyway, they assaulted me of course, and quite badly actually”. 

“Merlin, Billy, they could have killed you! Or turned you in!”

“No, because Snape had asked them not to do that, remember?”

“Don’t tell me you call that a heroic deed!” Fred snorted, but Billie ignored him and continued. 

“For a moment, my memory‘s a little vague, because I was half conscious by the time Snape came in. And then he sent them away and told Filch not to let anyone into the castle for the rest of the day and night and started to attend to me”. 

“<i>Attend</i> to you?! Is that what you call it?”. 

“He took care of my wounds and bruises and a dislocated shoulder, so yes, that’s what I would call it”, she replied coolly. “And after that he took me to bed … <i>and left me</i>!” she added pointedly when she saw the sarcastic twitch on his face, “and came back a couple of hours later to further attend to me and make sure I was all right. And then he sent me away to France; showed me a secret passage out of the castle that led straight into the mountains from where I could disapparate”. She preferred to leave out the more personal details of that event.

“But before he sent me away,” she continued, “He removed that part of my memory… well he put it in a bottle and told me not to retrieve it until I had mastered the art of Occlumency, because it would put us both in serious danger if a Death Eater or anyone else saw those images”. 

Fred sat staring at her with his mouth wide open and was still frozen in that position when George came in. 

“Am I supposed to run the shop alone, then? Not that it matters you know. There’s hardly any customers. But the support of a dedicated partner and brother is never unwelcome I daresay”, but when he saw that his funny remark didn’t cause any reaction with his brother or his ex-girlfriend whatsoever, his grin disappeared and his gaze went from one face to the other in wonder. 

“What’s the matter? Been quarelling?”

Billie sent him an apologetic glance. “George, I’m sorry about this, but… you know… would you mind?”

“Is it very busy in the shop?” asked Fred, “Can you handle it?”

His brother understood that they were discussing a personal matter, and although he had hardly ever been in a situation when he wasn’t automatically made part of Fred’s conversations, even with his girlfriends, he nodded and without any form of protest retreated back into the shop. 

For a moment, there was complete silence. 

“So he took care of you. And now you think you can trust him”, said Fred finally, “Has it ever occurred to you that he might have been someone else? Someone who had taken his form with the Polyjuice Potion, for example?”

“Yes, “she said quietly, “but first of all, who would have wanted to do that? Apart from McGonnagle and Filch, there was noone in the castle. Oh, I forget Hagrid, but Hagrid could never imitate Snape’s educated English”.

“It could have been McGonnagle. After all, she knew you were there and she had just been pushed aside by Snape”. 

Billie instantly turned scarlet and sniggered. However little she knew about Minerva McGonnagle, she was sure that her Transfiguration teacher had never shown any lesbian interest in her, nor in any other girl. 

Not even in a boy, for that matter.

“What’s so funny? It could have been her, couldn’t it!”

“Believe me, Fred, it definitely was <i>not</i> Professor McGonnagle. Nor Filch. Nor Hagrid or Peeves or Madam Pomfrey or a house elf. Besides, what would be the point for them to take Snape’s form?”

“To be able to sneak into that room unnoticed of course”.

“And why would they remove my memory? If they were on my, our, side and took Snape’s form, they would have been all too happy if a Death Eater, or the Dark One himself, saw my memory and found out about Snape’s loyalties”. 

Fred frantically shook his head. “There has to be an explanation. It can’t have been Snape. He killed Dumbledore, Billie! Why would he look after you when he was cold-blooded enough to kill his protector?”. 

“Who says it was he who killed him?”

“For God’s sake, we’ve been there hundreds of times! Of course it was him! He went back to You-Know-Who, remember? And he was installed at Hogwarts and brought those two Death Eaters in! He’s a Death Eater, through and through, and sneaky enough to delude both Dumbledore and the entire Order”. 

Billie sat back and sighed. There was no rational argument against this. She knew in her heart that she was right in trusting Severus, but there was nothing, absolutely nothing she could bring up against Fred’s argument. And he knew it.

“I think…” he said after a while and his voice sounded a lot softer and more patient now, even a little sympathetic, “I think that, despite the fact that he’s a faithful servant to You-Know-Who, he has a soft spot for you and couldn’t bring himself to leaving you in the hands of that horrid couple; just like any other well-known bad guy always happens to have a girl somewhere they fancy. Like that muggle king Henry… what’s the number… the eighth?… who fell in love with that girl… well, several of them really.  Mind you, he chopped off the heads of most of them. Could happen to you too, come to think of it. Ah, and this guy you compared to You-Know-Who… this Hitler? Also had a girlfriend hadn’t he? Blew themselves up together… another happy ending!”. 

But Billie was hardly listening to him now. He had brought up a terrifying idea that was nestling into her heart and brain like a sickening germ. 

Could it be that Snape was only showing some kindness because he fancied her, but remained a monster when anyone else was involved? It was as if an ice-cold hand closed itself around her stomach as she realised that she had absolutely no proof of the contrary; not even an indication. She brought a trembling hand to her brow.s

Fred noticed the change in her and put a comforting hand on hers.

“Don’t go there, Billie. It’s no use. You’ll get killed; or arrested before you get there, and if you reach Hogwarts, he will never allow you to get in touch with him, let alone ask him for information.” He shook his head, “The mere thought!” He wanted to add something about love making intelligent people take leave of their senses, but wisely decided to keep that remark to himself.

Billie suddenly felt that she couldn’t stay in the confinement of this little room anymore. She needed action.

“I have to go,” she said, rising to her feet.

“Why?” asked Fred astonished, “Where are you going?”

“I must inform Peter. Will you get in touch with Kingsley and your dad?” she asked, “It would be good if we could have somebody in Downing Street today still, or tomorrow at the latest. Is that possible do you think?”

“Billie…” Fred tried to grab her hands but she stepped away from him and turned towards the window.

“Please, Fred, let me go. I must go and see him”.

“And what are you going to do afterwards, eh?”.

“I don’t know,” she said, measuring the height to the window sill, “Could you open that window for me, please?” She turned to look at him and instantly felt guilty when she saw the expression on his face, “Don’t give me that look, Fred,” she said, stretching a hand towards him and fondly touching his cheek, “I need time to think. And I’ll see what happens after I’ve spoken to Peter. I… perhaps he’ll invite me to stay with him, in his house. I dunno. Or Emily… I might pay a visit to Emily and her dad”. 

“Why don’t you come to our place?” Fred said, “Mother will be delighted to see you”. 

“I can’t put your family in danger again, Fred. Honestly. There’s nothing in the world I’d like to do more than come with you and spend the next days or weeks at The Burrow, but that’s impossible”. 

And she meant it whole-heartedly. She took a step closer and threw her arms around him. 

“I promise I won’t do any stupid things,” she whispered when she met his sceptical glance, “I’ve learnt a great deal in the last months, you know. I can take care of myself”. 

“Why should you go your own way, when George and I have a complete network of underground people around us every day; people who may have their own ways of finding out what You-Know-Who’s planning against the Prime Minister”. 

Billie nodded. “Perhaps that is what I will decide to do… ultimately. But now I have to focus on Peter first. I know where to find you, in any case. Say hello to George and the rest of you, will you?”. 

“Wait,” said Fred, stepping away from her,” I want you to take a couple of things with you. Just in case”. He started to rummage in a number of cardboard boxes that were spread all over the floor, taking things out here and there, and came back with a handful of gadgets Billie could not recall ever having seen in the shop. 

“Instant darkness powder,” Fred explained, “And movable swamp. Turns every area you throw it on into a swamp in seconds. Remember how we used it at Hogwarts? Very handy. And a shield cloak to travel a little more unnoticed. And a set of potions and pastes… you know… to annoy Death Eaters and such”

He saw the determination in her eyes when he handed her all these articles. He deeply distrusted her intentions, and he was quite sure his sister would sooner grow a silver beard than that Billie would come back to consult his family and friends on Voldemort’s intentions. 

But he knew her well enough to understand that there was nothing in the world that could stop her. He had seen that look in her eyes before. 

“All right, then,” he said. Hereached for the small window's handleto open it, “As long as you keep in mind that Snape’s not to be trusted. Under no circumstance, Billie! Think of Dumbledore when you feel a need to fly northwards”. 

“I will,” she said but she knew that it was a promise she could not keep. Not until she had witnessed with her own eyes what foul game Snape was playing.


	3. Part IV Chapter 3

3

 

Peter instantly understood the seriousness of the situation, of course, and carefully listened to the tips and tricks she gave him on how to recognise an imperiused person, and what to look out for. Meanwhile, as they stood going through all the different jinxes the Death Eaters were likely to use against him, and discussing the way to deal with them, a patronus messenger came floating into Peter’s living room, a lynx, who informed them that in the morning, a new employee was going to present himself at Peter’s desk by the name of Archie Williamson, an Auror in disguise, who would replace Peter’s personal assistant Stan Creets who had suddenly been struck by scarlet fever.

Billie ended up spending the night in Peter’s guest room, but she didn’t even come in the proximity of sleep: all night, she lay tossing and turning, thinking of Severus and what Fred had suggested, and racking her brain for signs, or anything at all that proved Snape’s good intentions,  but when the first light of morning fell into the room, she still hadn’t found anything, and so she consoled herself during these first minutes of the day to relive once again all that had happened in her room at Hogwarts. 

 

By the time she got up, she was even more determined than she had been before she had met Fred. She was going to travel to Scotland straight away and get as close to Snape as she could. She didn’t even dare to think any further than that. 

So after what was more an excuse for breakfast than a decent meal, at least for as far as she was concerned, and with the solemn promises they had exchanged about being careful and not to trust anyone still in her ears, she left Peter’s house through the backdoor, this time more casually dressed in jeans, a warm jumper, her winter jacket and a pair of woollen-lined leather boots.She travelled as far as she dared to travel under cover of the commuting crowd in the streets and on the Underground, but as soon as she had reached Charing Cross station, where she would try to get on the Hogwarts Express, which was on its way towards the school again after the Christmas holidays, she transformed in a dark corner and waited for an opportunity to reach platform 9 ¾.

She had to wait about half an hour before a dodgy-looking man in a heavy, black coat and high boots turned up, who headed straight towards the barrier between platforms nine and ten. 

Billie only just had the time to fly down and grab the hem of his cloak before he disappeared through it and stepped onto the Hogwarts Express. She felt an enormous relief when she realised she had made it, long before the first students would arrive, and despite the fact that she had had to cling to the hem of a Death Eater’s Cloak. 

As soon as they had passed through the open train doors, she let go of him and slipped underneath the bench in the nearest compartment, not daring to look if he had seen her. 

All was safe, however, or as safe asit could be in the proximity of a Death Eater. She cast a look around and saw the man’s boots somewhere opposite her. That was bad luck, because it meant she would have to make the whole trip transformed, which was not a healthy option. But there was nothing she could do about it; leaving the compartment was impossible now that the door was closed again, and for the time being, she was quite safe where she sat; so she pushed herself a little further into the darkest corner underneath the bench and tried not to get stuck on the pieces of gum she found here and there, or suffocate in the piles of dust that were surrounding her. 

It wasn’t long before the train started to fill up with students, but she had the impression that there was a lot less noise than usual, and nobody joined the Death Eater in his compartment. Then the whistle blew and the engine set the train in motion.

 

By the time the train entered Hogsmeade station, she was feeling weak with hunger and fatigue. She hadn’t dared to drop off, for fear her transformation would stop: Francis had always told her to be careful not to stay in animagus form for too long, especially when you were not in control of your senses like, for example, when you were asleep. So she had desperately fought the tiredness the monotonous sound of the train’s speeding wheels had caused with her. And now, the only thing she was longing for, was a warm bed and a good supper, until it hit her sleepy brain that she still had to find a way to sneak into the highly protected castle, and more importantly, meet or see Snape. 

And the latter instantly turned her wide awake. 

Finally! After all these months she would see him, and no matter what that would teach her about the nature of his intentions, it was the only thing she wanted to happen now, and everything that followed after that she would deal with later. 

But how could she get to him…?

She concluded that the easiest way would be to just do as she had done to get on the Hogwarts express: hook herself on a cloak of one of the students and let them carry her inside unnoticed. The trouble was, she was locked into this compartment, with the door firmly closed, so she would not be able to get out of it until the Death Eater left himself, which was hopefully before the students started to disembark.

It looked as if she was going to be lucky. When the train slowed down, until it was barely driving at walking speed, the Death Eater got up and opened the door to leave. Billie instantly sped after him and sneaked through the already closing door, but that proved to be a major mistake.

The corridor was packed with students who were filing to get off with all their luggage and pets. As soon as Billie had slipped through the compartment door, a grey furball shot towards her and before she realised what it was, the shadow of an enormous pair of claws came down on her. Thanks to the robin’s reflexes, she could just hop away to avoid a lethal encounter with the cat, but another one had spotted her too and instantly leapt forwards. 

Fortunately, a student was just passing them, pulling his trunk behind him and the cat painfully collided with it in the middle of its jump. 

Billie flew up, her movements followed with interest by at least five owls, two of which sat perched on their master’s shoulder and were therefore free to go for her. She had to get out, but there was no way. Already the desperate flapping of her wings against the windows and compartment doors was attracking the interest of most students, and not all of them made it a point to always be kind to animals. Fortunately, they all had their hands full with their belongings and pets, so that none of them had the possibility to grab their wand and send some horrible hex or spell at her, and now that the train had come to a complete standstill, they quickly lost interest in the little bird altogether and started to shuffle towards the exit.

Billie was too scared and shocked, and weakened by the many hours she had spent transformed to think about grabbing one of the cloaks. Instead, as soon as the train doors opened, she flew to the exit straight into the ice-cold early-January air. 

 

She landed on a roof beam that supported the shelter where a couple of carts were parked. 

Her bird’s head felt as if it was going to explode. She knew that she instantly had to transform, or she wouldn’t survive this. The students were filing past her, but the shelter was unlit and it was a dark night anyway; the chances of being seen were small, so without further hesitation, she hopped on the ground and transformed. 

And that was none too soon. As soon as she was standing on her feet, the world around her started to spin around and she had to lean against the wall to keep her balance. She had to wait for a few horrible moments, during which she hastily put two chocolate bars away, which she had found in her bag. The chocolate gradually brought everything back into focus again and removed the feeling of sickness that had accompanied her nausea; and by that time, all students had left the station and were now installing themselves on the carts that would take them to the castle. 

 

Billie knew she couldn’t possibly transform again and join them, so she would have to find a way to sneak into the castle in human form. 

But that was going to be an enormus task. For one thing, as soon as she had turned into herself again, the coldness hit her like a knife. She had no idea what the temperature was, but it was definitely well below zero. 

Her eyes travelled to where the inviting lights of the village stood twinkling. The first houses were at about half a mile from the station, or perhaps even less, so even in the weakened state she found herself in, she should be able to manage the distance. Only… she wasn’t sure that was the best thing to do. Her gaze shifted to the opposite side where, like a black shadow in an even darker night, Hogwarts stood dominating the hill. She knew that the gates would close as soon as the last cart had passed through it and it would almost certainly be guarded by Death Eaters. So walking that way was out of the question. 

But staying in the shelter was definitely no option either: she would freeze to death before long. So the only road she could take was the one that lead to the village. 

Fred had told her there was a curfew these days. She wondered if there would be any Death Eaters patrolling the streets in such weather. Or perhaps they had other ways of detecting people in the street. Was there a spell that alerted the one who cast it, of a sudden movement for example? She couldn’t think of any, but then again, during their seven-year training they had covered only a fraction of the spells the various encyclopaedias listed. 

In any case… she didn’t have a choice. Already she was feeling sick with cold.

She looked around. The station building with the single platform in front of it looked like an ice cake. Billie reckoned that there had to be at least fifteen inches of snow, and she was glad she had had the idea to puther thick boots on. 

A deep silence had descended over the area now that the last of the students had driven off. She had the impression the station was deserted, but she didn’t trust the peace and it was far too dark to see clearly. 

If only she had been able to transform again. Or become invisible.And then it hit her that Fred had given her a shield cloak. Dear old Fred. The thought of him, safely tucked away in the Weasley’s cosy sitting room, probably with one of Molly’s pastries within reach, increased her feeling of loneliness. 

Her hand slid into the front pouch of her rucksack to retrieve the folded piece of cloth which she quickly pulled over her head, hoping that it would give her some extra protection against the wind too, but thatwas too optimistic. Still, as she looked down and moved a little, she noticed that the cloak automatically took the colour of its surroundings, like a chameleon, and that at least would probably make her passage through the village a lot easier.

She took a first, delicate step towards the platform, and another one, but all remained peacefully quiet and there wasn’t a single movement to be seen anywhere. That gave her a little more courage to move on, until she suddenly realised to her horror she was very nearly going to make a major mistake: the cloak could hide her body, but it wouldn’t cover her footsteps in the snow. She might as well leave the Death Eaters a note with her exact whereabouts.

She hurriedly retrieved back into her dark corner and for a moment stood completely at a loss at what to do next. She thought and thought as the wind merciless cut into her and then decided that she had no other choice than to transform again. If it went wrong, she’d be lost. But if she stayed here, or walked away from here with the imprint of her footsteps trailing behind her she’d be lost as well. 

She took a deep breath; took another bite of a bar, desperately hoping that the sugar and chocolate would give her enough energy to survive the transformation and the flight towards the village, and whispered the spell. 

It worked, and not a lot more painful than it usually did, so that at least was a start. She immediately took off, but a gust of wind instantly sent her backwards again and she had to change her course a little to avoid the full blast of it. Still, it was hard work, and it didn’t take long before she felt her head throbbing again. 

She passed the first houses, wondering where on earth she could seek some shelter, when her eyes fell on the withered sign of the Hog’s Head. As a bird, she wasn’t capable of many human feelings, but some form of relief took possession of her anyway as she dived straight towards it and landed on the only window sill that was lit by candlelight from within.

She instantly felt that it was high time to take her human form again, but she couldn’t do that here, of course. She peered inside and saw an elderly man with a long beard sitting in a chair by the fire with a cat on his lap, and the latter wasn’t the most encouraging thing, in her present state. 

Anyway, she had no choice. She frantically hammered her beak against the small window, painfully aware that the sound she produced was just a weak ticking that was probably drowned out by the howling wind outside. 

It took indeed a while before the man lifted his head and turned towards the window. He put down the cat that didn’t at all look pleased with being shaken out of its sleep, and shuffled towards the window. Billie, however, was so small that she escaped his stare, so with the last of her forces she started to jump up and down against the window until the man lowered his gaze and spotted the little robin, half-buried in snow on the window sill. 

Billie was very lucky Aberforth Dumbledore was as kind a man as his late brother. Just as she was completely overtaken by exhaution and fainted, he opened the window, took her in his hand and carefully carried her towards the fire. 

“There … there, little fellow…” he muttered, “Having a hard time, are we? <i>Don’t even dream of coming an inch closer, Felix, d’you hear?!”</i> The latter was addressed at his cat that, with a hungry look in its eyes and claws at the ready, stood staring up at what Abe was holding in his hand.

Billie was gradually gaining consiousness again, but it took a tremendous effort to move her head a little, by which she wanted to signal that there was still some life inside her. 

“Let me see if I can help you a little there,” said Abe as he fished his wand out of his inside pocket, “You’re an animagus, aren’t you? ‘Course you are… <i>Stay where you are, Felix! I’m warning you!</i> … All right, let’s see who’s paying us a visit tonight, shall we? … <i>corpus animalis exsto!</i>”

And to his surprise, not a Death Eater or one of the Hogwarts students but quite a pretty if somewhat pale and sickly-looking young woman appeared full-sized in his sitting room. 

Billie immediately had to grab the back of the first chair she found within reach and sank down on it, violently feeling nauseatic again. 

“Are you all right?” the old man asked urgently, “Oh dear… overdose transformation am I right? Wait a second..”

He disappeared into another room, probably a kitchen, because a few minutes later, he came back, holding a steaming goblet in his hands which he handed over to her. 

The hot liquid tasted of honey and mead and something she couldn’t identify in her half-unconscious state but whatever it was, it instantly stopped the spinning of her head and spread a comfortable warmth over her entire body. 

“Thank you,” she muttered weakly, “I’m sorry to intrude on you like this”. 

“Never mind,” he shrugged, “I’m used to that. By the way, was it your intention to come here, or a mere coincidence?”. 

“No, an intention. Fred Weasley told me that you’re.. you know… helping the students a little… the ones who have been given detention and things” It still cost her a lot of effort to speak properly.

“Did he tell you that?” asked the man as he sat down opposite her, “Weasley… I’ve heard the name I think… And are you a student too? You don’t look like one”. 

“No, I graduated nearly two years ago. My name is Billie Matthews, by the way”. 

“Abe” he replied. 

Billie had no idea if that was his first or family name, but she supposed it didn’t matter. 

“And what’s a former student doing here?” he asked.

“I’ve come back because… I have to see someone at Hogwarts”. 

“Oh, and who should that be?”

“Someone,” she said evasively, “I need some information”. 

“I see… Well, I wouldn’t advise you to go there now, in any case. There’s a curfew. They receive an alert as soon as you step outside. Won’t get very far”.

“But it didn’t sound when I came flying in. Or can’t it track animagi?””. 

“They must have lifted the curfew for a couple of hours because of the returning students”. 

“I see… I.. erm… I was hoping… Fred told me that there is a way… a secret passage way… and that you know where to find it”. 

Abe shook his head “I don’t know anything about such a way”, he said curtly, deliberately avoiding her eye, “No idea where that comes from”. 

She nodded. “I understand,” she said,” You don’t know who I am, obviously, or what my intentions may be”. Of course he didn’t trust her. She could be anyone; a Death Eater in disguise with a suspicion that the Hog’s Head’s landlord was involved in subversive activities and who was now looking for proof, for example. And she didn’t quite know how to convince him of the contrary. 

So it looked like she would have to take the usual path and run the risk of being caught, … not an attractive option at all. 

 “Abe… I was wondering…  could I… would it be possible for me to stay here tonight? The only chance I have of entering the castle is as a bird, but I’m not really fit to transform again and fly. You do have rooms to let, don’t you?”. 

“Not really… but I suppose something can be arranged”.

“Thank you,” she said and there was genuine relief reflected on her face now. 

Abe sat studying her a little while. A funny thing, this girl. Came flying in more dead than alive as an animagus when she clearly was a muggle girl. Didn’t look at all evil, but then again… he had seen enough of this world to know that looks could be terribly misleading, especially good looks. So he was definitely not going to show her where the passage was. A war was going on, and a nasty one at that. 

“Wouldn’t you like something to eat?” he asked instead. She looked as if she could do with some food.

“That would be lovely, if it’s not asking too much”. 

“Not at all,” he said and got to his feet with a little difficulty. 

“Sorry, shall I…?”

“No, no… you stay here and warm yourself. Won’t be a minute”. 

She smiled, and for the first time that day,  she had a feeling a weight –if only a small one- was lifted off her shoulders.

 

“So who taught you… animal transfiguration I mean” he asked when they sat opposite each other at a rickety table, Billie enjoying a delicious meal of bread and goat’s cheese, and Abe sipping from a dark-red, sticky liquid. “It’s not something they usually teach at Hogwarts, is it?”

“No… “ she said, “I went to France to learn it”

“Francis Lejeune, no doubt? Yeah I know him. Have known him for centuries. Who sent you there?”

“Professor… McGonnagle”.

“And is it Minerva you wanted to see?”

“No, not this time” 

Fortunately, he didn’t seem too insulted by her evasiveness. He knew that these were dark times, of course, and that you couldn’t trust anyone with anything.   

“Haven’t seen her for a while, Minerva,” he said, “Wonder how she’s coping, up there. She’s a tough one, you know, but she probably’s got her hands full saving her students from that horrid couple”. 

“The Carrows, you mean?”

“Yep. D’you know them?”

“I’ve heard about them,” said Billie evasively, “Death Eaters, aren’t they?”

“Like Snape. The place’s overtaken by them. Wouldn’t go there if I were you. Hogwarts’s not a place for muggle-borns these days”.

“So they tell me…” she said evasively, “but I have no other choice”. 

“All right then,” he said, rising to his feet, “But don’t tell me I didn’t warn you. Finished?”

She nodded. 

“Then I’ll show you your room. It’s downstairs, mind. And not very well heated”. 

“That’s all right. As long as it has a bed and a couple of blankets. I’ll manage”. 

“Good, ‘cos there’s not much more you’ll find there”. 

 

She didn’t pass the best night of her life. It was freezing-cold in the room to start with, and nearly all night, her head was buzzing with all possible scenarios she was imagining that could happen on the next day- going from being caught as soon as she approached the castle and fed to Filch’s cat, to meeting a completely dedicated-to- Voldemort-Snape, who sent her back to the Carrows as soon as he set eyes on her. 

For the sake of being fully prepared for the worst she had moved away from the conviction that Severus was on her side and wouldn’t hesitate to help her save Peter and Uncle Richard, but that didn’t really help to cheer her up. So by the time morning came, she was deadly-nervous and worried, and not at all sure she would make it to the end of that day.

 

Abe was not in the kitchen or in his sitting room, but she heard faint noises coming from the pub downstairs, so she supposed he had a customer or a visitor. He had also left some breakfast for her on the table. 

She was far too nervous to eat really, but she didn’t want to insult the good man either, so she forced half a slice of bread and butter down her throat until she had a feeling she would suffocate, and then she abandoned the attempt altogether. 

Bad luck for Abe, but he would probably understand. 

She checked her watch. It was shortly after nine and today was Tuesday. The classes would have started by now, so that meant that the corridors would be deserted. But was that a good or a bad thing? If they were  packed with students, she had a chance of melting in with the crowd and pass unnoticed, but then there would also be more eyes that could fall on her. And flying through an empty and deadly silent corridor did not seem to be a very attractive thing either. 

The thing is, she was scared to death, and whatever she planned to do was never going to be an attractive option, so she had better have it over and done with now. 

She instantly rose to leave, but as soon as she was standing,  she was forced to sink down on her chair. A few minutes later, the door opened and Abe came in. 

“Still here, are you? Hardly touched breakfast I see”. 

“Yes, sorry about that… I’d better have some more, I think”. 

His old, blue eyes briefly settled on her, “You’re pale,” he remarked, “Still a bit peaky, are you. Don’t think you’re fit to go on an adventure to Hogwarts, to be honest”. 

“I have to go there…” she muttered, “My brother’s in danger. And my uncle too”. 

“Why? What did they do?”

“Nothing…” she took the other half of the slice she had previously been eating, “My uncle’s the muggle MP and my brother his Chief of Staff, and they fear for an assault”. 

“By Death Eaters. I see…” said Abe, “And you were sent to find out if there are any such plans. But why at Hogwarts? I don’t think there’s anyone there who’s involved in such plans, definitely not Minerva McGonnagle, and if there are any others, they definitely won’t tell you”. 

“Yes, well… I have someone in mind who might know about it. It’s the only chance I have anyway, so I must try”. 

“Hm… well in that case, you’d better make sure you’re strong enough to be up to it. Otherwise you’ll be in as much danger as your brother, and what good could come out of that?”

“Yes… perhaps…” she admitted. Of course he had a point. A couple of hours wouldn’t make that much difference 

 “Tell you what,” Abe said, “Why don’t you pull up your chair to the fire and rest a couple of hours until dusk? You won’t be traced by the Caterwauling Charms yet, and by then enough recovered to transform safely if you have to”. 

It wasn’t what she had hoped to do. Now that she was mentally prepared for it, she was going to be sitting by the fire all day with absolutely nothing to do than to fret and to get more nervous still. 

But there wasn’t any other acceptable option, so it would have to do. 

“But don’t go down to the pub when you awake”. 

“Dodgy visitors?” She gladly accepted the mug of hot coffee he handed to her. 

He nodded. “Only way to survive these days. You give ‘m some and they close an eye, or at least leave you alone”. 

“And that’s how you can help people like me,” said Billie. “I see”She took a sip from the coffee and went to sit by the fire. There had to be something in her mug because as soon as she sat down, her eyelids became heavy and she dropped off where she was sitting. 

 

She slept for the biggest part of that day. When she finally opened her eyes, the room was flooded in the warm, orange glow of a late-afternoon winter sun. 

She sat up and yawned at length as she stretched her still sleepy limbs and sour back. 

“It looks like you really needed that,” came Abe’s voice from somewhere next to her. 

She blinked a couple of times and then shifted her gaze to where the sound had come from. 

He was standing with his back to the window, but he wasn’t more than a silhouette outlined by the wreath of sunrays, and his body and features hidden in shadows. She received an immense shock when, for a split second, her sleepy brain recognised Professor Dumbledore, but that was instantly gone when the old man left his spot at the window and came shuffling towards her.

“How do you feel now?” he asked. 

“A lot better,” said Billie. As the sleepiness disappeared, the nervousness came back, but she had a feeling she could handle it now. “I think I’m ready for it, Abe. And I’d better not wait too long before I leave, hadn’t I? Evening’s falling”. 

“Yes, I was going to suggest the same. It’s high time you left. The Caterwauling Charms are activated as soon as the sun is under”. 

Billie got to her feet. “I can’t thank you enough for what you’ve done for me. I’d never survived if you hadn’t taken me in and helped me transform again”. 

“Yes, be careful with that, there”, said Aberforth, “You can’t use your Animagus form as a second nature. You should only use it when it’s absolutely needed”. 

“I know…” Billie admitted, “I’ll have to be more careful”. 

“Or more creative. Turning into a bird is a very attractive, but also easy option”. 

“Hm… true”. 

She packed her bag and put on her coat to leave. Then she asked him what he charged for the room and the food, but he dismissed her offer with a wave of his hand. 

“I can’t accept that, Abe. We all have to live”. 

She walked to the chimney, where a picture of a girl was hanging, and left a galleon in the small ashtray that stood there. Her eyes fell on a very small mirror next to it. The funny thing was that it was not reflecting herself. All was black in it.

“What’s this?” she asked Abe, pointing at the mirror. 

“Nothing of any importance,” he shrugged. “Something personal”. 

“Oh, sorry for asking. Well, anyway, I’ll be off then”.

“What’s your plan to go to the castle now?” asked Abe, “You’re surely not going to just walk up there, I hope”. 

She sighed. “I suppose I don’t have any other choice than to fly, do I? Do you know anything about the protective spells around the castle? Would they stop an animagus?”. 

“Most likely”. 

Billie’s face dropped, but then she thought of the things she had only recently remembered. 

“There may be an alternative, “ she said, “I know that there’s a secret passageway that ends in the mountains. I could take that one. It leads straight to a statue near the Headmaster’s office”. 

“The lion’s den!” 

“I know. But then, before I come out, I could transform and hide in the castle somewhere”. 

“If the passage way is not guarded, like the rest of them”. 

Billie received a shock. “Do they know about them? I thought they had been a secret for ages!”

“They know about them. I’m not sure if they know them all, but definitely the ones that lead to the Shrieking Shack and other places in Hogsmeade”. 

“And what about the one in the mountains?”

Abe shook his head. “I don’t know. I haven’t used it lately. Not so many people have ever heard of it, you know”. He thought for a moment. “I know a person who used it frequently… Oh, and Snape too of course!” His light-blue eyes met hers, “There you go. Snape knows it. He will definitely make sure it’s locked up and guarded!”. 

Well that was exactly what made Billie hope he wouldn’t do. He had shown it to her. Would he now make it a trap when he knew she might want to use it to come back? But then again, he had no idea she wanted to come back to Hogwarts. In fact, he had very explicitely told her she wasn’t to do it. 

“But Snape may still use it these days,” she thought aloud, “If he wants to leave the castle unnoticed”. 

“Why should he have to do that?” Abe snorted, “He can easily apparate and disapparate or use the floo network or whatever. Who’s going to stop him? He’s one of them, isn’t he”

Billie didn’t comment on that. 

“Look,” said Abe after a while, “There is another way. Have you ever heard of a secret room at Hogwarts?”

“I believe there’s several of them. At least, that’s what Fred always told me”. 

“Yes, but this one’s a very particular one. I believe it was used by students a couple of years ago, to practice defences”. 

“O, you mean the Room of Requirement?” said Billie, “Yes, I know that one. I took part in those lessons”. 

“Good!” said Abe, “Anyway, I don’t suppose you have any objections against meeting a couple of students who are not so fond of the present political system and this school’s Headmaster?”

“I do, actually!” she blurted out, instantly alarmed, “I’m sorry, but I really do”. 

Abe was now looking at her with a mixture of surprise and suspicion. 

“Of course I sympathise with them, and I’d love to meet them again, but the task I’ve been given must happen in the utmost secrecy. Nobody should know I’m here, except for the person I’m hoping to meet”. 

“Why don’t you tell me who they are? I could help you get hold of them”. 

“I can’t. If I told you, his life would be in danger, and all our chances of winning this war ruined”. 

“I see. It’s a “he”, then”. 

“There’s plenty of “he’s” at Hogwarts, Abe. Might as well be Fang”. 

“Hm… well then I suppose I can’t help you. The passage leads to the room where expelled or punished students are hiding”. 

“And if I entered as a bird?”

Abe shook his head. “It doesn’t work that way. They must come and get you”. 

“Oh…” said Billie, deeply disappointed, “Well, I’ll have to fly to the mountains then and take that one”. 

“But that’s suicide!”

“I’ll take it as a bird, and if I find it blocked, or guarded, I’ll come back to you and then I can still take the one that leads to the Room of Requirement. I suppose I’ll have to come up with an excuse for my presence then”. 

“I’d much rather you took that one straight away, you know”. 

Billie shook her head. “I’ll first try the other one. And I promise I’ll be very careful”. 

So that settled the matter. She buttoned up her coat, shook hands with Abe and heaved her rucksack on her shoulders. Then she transformed and disappeared out of the window that Abe opened for her.


	4. Part IV Chapter 4

4

 

What she hadn’t thought of was that it was going to be quite difficult to find back the exact spot where the tunnel ended. 

For one thing, the landscape was covered in a thick layer of snow, which didn’t help her memory very much. She remembered how she had taken a steep path from the tunnel’s exit up to a small clearing where a huge flat stone lay from where she had disapparated. But in the snow, no path was visible of course, so she would have to look out for the clearing and its flat stone. 

She flew from one treetop to another, and kept an anxious eye on the setting sun. It wasn’t down yet, but it was sinking rapidly, so if she didn’t find the tunnel soon, she’d be forced to fly back to the Hog’s Head. 

She passed a clearing in the pine wood, and another one, and a few others after that, all spotlessly white, and on to another one that looked a little more trampled, but then the shrieking of a large bird caught her ears and she dived into one of the pine trees that were bordering the small clearing. 

As she sat trembling and frantically hoping she had escaped the bird’s attention, a thought suddenly struck her small brain, and she looked down at the small clearing below. 

The snow was indeed trampled, and that wasn’t caused by animals. 

With a beating heart, she waited until the screeching of the bird had disappeared into the distance, and she flew down. 

Footprints! Very clearly from someone wearing heavy boots, and by the size of them, probably not a small man, or at least a person with big feet.She quickly transformed, so that she had a better overview of the footprints, and noticed that they came from between the trees. 

She followed them into the forest, meanwhile casting anxious glances around her, but all was peaceful and quiet. 

After a while, she noticed that she was indeed following a rapidly descending path. The light of the setting sun hardly reached her here, but this near-darkness gave her a feeling of security, so as soon as the trees closed around her, she increased her speed and ran, and sometimes glided, further down the hill. 

If this was a false trail, she’d be in deep trouble, for the sun was nearly under and now that she was in human form again, she became painfully aware of a sniding, ice-cold wind. She could still fly back, but if she waited a few minutes longer, the Caterwauling Charm would be activated and she would run the risk of being discovered. 

And staying here in these temperatures was definitely no option either. 

 

But then the path made a turn and she saw that it lead straight to another clearing, where huge pieces of rock and wood lay covered in snow, giving the place the appearance of a gigantic cream cake. 

In the midst of them was a dark spot. 

With a painfully pounding heart, Billie sped towards it, and as it grew larger and clearer, an increasing feeling of excitement took possession of her. 

It was a hole… a cave… the entrance to a tunnel!

She was so happy when she finally reached its entrance that she very nearly rushed into it. 

But then she remembered how Abe had warned her against the Death Eaters that guarded the secret passage ways and she stopped. She took out her wand, and for a while, stood panting and listening intently for any sounds in the darkness beyond and in the woods around her. 

All was still deadly quiet. 

Billie carefully looked around, but now that night was really falling, it was impossible to see if anything or anybody was lurking in the woods. And the tunnel was even darker. 

Finally, she took a deep breath and transformed. If she was about to be caught, she had better make herself as small and agile as she could be, so that at least, they would have to make a serious effort to catch her. 

 

Her ears were a lot sharper than her human ones, and that at least was something. All was indeed covered in a deep silence; not a single twig was snapping or any other bird screeching. 

Very cautiously, she approached herself from the tunnel entrance and peered inside. 

It was pitch-dark, and also here, the silence fell on her like a blanket. 

She hopped inside, spread her wings and was just about to fly up when all of a sudden, a shape even blacker than darkness itself, formed itself a long way ahead of her, and came flying towards her at a dazzling speed, accompanied by a strange, swelling sound of flapping wings. 

Billie instinctively hopped behind a small piece of rock protruding from the tunnel’s wall, and trembling from head to paws, stood expecting to be eaten or captured any second. 

But before she had the time to fully realise that this was going to be the end, the black shape passed over her, and she recognised a flock of bats on their way to the outside world. 

She let a deep sigh of relief, more mentally than physically in her present state, and carefully listened for other sounds that would hint at more animals coming out of the tunnel, but all was quiet again.

Even more cautiously than before, she proceeded further inside, sometimes hopping, sometimes flying for a couple of yards, and each time stopping to listen. 

When she was about half-way, and now so much covered in darkness that she was moving completely by touch and instinct, another sound caught her sensitive ears. She automatically flew up and had to flutter for a couple of seconds until she felt a safe place to land, from where she could wait until the animal or other creature in the tunnel had passed. 

The sound was very weak, but as it grew louder, she became aware that, somehow, the darkness was losing a little of its intensity. Very slowly, the dark-grey shapes from the wall opposite her became distinguishable, and with it came the clear sound of footsteps. 

Billie tried her very best not to panic. Abe had told her that Caterwauling Charms were not stopped by an animagus form. If the tunnel was guarded, and her presence had set an alarm in action and alerted the guards, she was lost. She could only hope they wouldn’t be able to trace her very quickly, but with the swelling sound of footsteps, the light of one or more wands became visible, and where she was sitting, there was nothingwhich she could hide behind or into to escape the searching light of the guards. 

She didn’t dare to move anymore either, so the only thing she could do was hold her breath and wait, and hope.

 

As opposed to what she had first thought through the echo of the hollow space, only one person seemed to be walking her way, but that didn’t help to put her mind at ease. 

As the guard came nearer, the light of his wand intensified, illuminating the floor, ceiling and walls around him in their smallest details.Billie forced herself to keep her eyes open, even if she’d much rather hide her head under her wing and wait for that horrible moment to quickly pass. He or she was at about five steps from her now… four… three… 

A dark shape appeared and again Billie had to supress the temptation to close her eyes, especially because, now that the light of the wand fully exposed her to the man or woman below, she was completely blinded by it and, for a few moments, couldn’t see much more than black and white spots. 

But then the guard passed underneath her, and with him, the light glided past her, and as her eyesight came back to her, she recognised with a shock the billowing cloak and the shoulder-length black hair of Severus Snape. 

 

She waited until he was at about ten feet from her and then, very carefully not to be heard, went in pursuit.

He was clearly not patrolling the tunnel. He would probably take the path up to the small clearing to disapparate. 

She wondered where he was heading for at this time, and why he took a clandestine way to get out of the castle when, as a Death Eater, he could do as he pleased and was free to go wherever and whenever he liked. 

Unless he didn’t want his fellow-Death Eaters to know what he was doing, of course. 

After a long while, when he had to be close to the tunnel’s exit, he suddenly transformed into his bat form and flew away. 

Billie immediately went in pursuit but it wasn’t easy to keep up with him, and as they followed the path through the pine woods, she had serious trouble distinguishing him in the dark. 

She increased her speed. If he disapparated without her, she’d lose him, and then she would have to wait for him to come back, which was not an attractive option in this cold. 

Fortunately, as the clearing came in sight, the snow that covered its rocks weakly reflected the light of the moon, making it possible for her to see him again. 

He was at just a few feet from her, and slowing down now, which allowed Billie to get closer and land on his cloak as soon as he had transformed into his human shape again. 

And that was none too soon. In seconds, they swirled around and an absolutely horrific feeling of suffocation and of being squeezed to death instantly hit Billie, a hundred times worse than the way it usually felt when she apparated. What happened next passed in a blur. 

 

As soon as he disapparated, Severus instantly felt that something was wrong. The next moment, as he landed on the edge of the Forest of Dean, something dropped on the floor next to him, something or rather someone who had apparated together with him. He instinctively drew his wand and petrified whoever it was who had followed him. 

Then, with trembling hands, and bracing himself for the enemy he would have to fight, or even kill, he whispered <i>lumos</i>. 

To his utmost surprise and horror he was staring at a face he knew only too well. 

And he wasn’t at all pleased to see it… 

His terror was instantly replaced by fury.

With an angry flick of his wand he undid the petrification, but Billie didn’t immediately react. She lay panting on the frozen forest ground on her back, unable to move because of the heavy weight she still felt pressing on her chest. 

Severus didn’t need a long time to understand what had gone wrong. His anger gradually made a little room for concern and he knelt down at her side.  

“Billie! Billie,” he whispered urgently, “Can you hear me?”

She nodded weakly. 

“Have you tried to apparate in disguise? Did you use a Disillusionment Charm?”

She shook her head and closed her eyes. The pain was unbearable. 

Severus cursed under his breath  but there was nothing he could do. She wasn’t splinched or anything. She was only suffering from the effect apparition had caused on a person who had already been under a spell.

The pressure on her chest was gradually taking off, and with it came more room to breathe, so with an immense effort, she lifted herself to her elbows and looked into the white face with the unfathomable eyes. 

“Animagus,” she muttered. 

“Idiot!” He came to his feet and stared down at her with undisguised anger again. 

That was exactly the encouragment Billie needed to be able to scramble up. 

“Was it really necessary to petrify me?” she snapped, as she rubbed her painful head. “Apparating was bad enough as such!”.

“And you are very lucky that I am not doing it again,” Snape hissed with clenched teeth and his wand pointed at her, “Give me proof of who you are. Go on!”

“I have just come back from Francis Lejeune. He retrieved my memories of the things that happened in my room after the Carrows had attacked me”. 

“What about them?”

“Some of it was quite personal…” It wasn’t very visible in the silver light of the wand but she seemed to blush as she was saying this. 

Still, she could still be a good actress of course. Or an actor. A Death Eater who had managed to retrieve her memory of her last visit to Hogwarts from her, or even from the invisible flask she had carried with her. Even if it was highly unlikely, there was a tiny little chance that someone had found it and had recognised the protective spell he had cast over it.

“What plant were you looking for last year. When you contacted me?”

“Devil’s Snare. And we had to hide from attacking creatures and pass through tunnels and caves to be able to get out”.

“Spiders…” muttered Snape and then he lowered his wand. It wasn’t what she was saying that made him realise she was herself and not a disguised Death Eater. It was the look in her eyes at the memory of their visit to the cave.

But realising this did not help much to improve his present situation. Here he was; on his way to one of the most important missions in this war; finding himself in the undesired company of an infatuated former student. 

Even if, in completely different circumstances, he might have welcomed the sight of her, she was now one of the people he least wanted to see. And the worst thing was: he couldn’t send her back – she would be snatched in seconds – and he couldn’t petrify her and leave her behind until he had finished his task either: she would be frozen to death in these temperatures. 

So he would be forced to take her, which irritated him enormously.

“What are you doing here?” asked Severus, after a long while.

“Looking for you,” Billie replied curtly. 

“I have told you not to come looking for me!”

“I need you!... And not in <i>that</i> sense!”

But that fuelled Snape’s fury again. He reached out to her and grabbed her by the upper arms and Billie was too slow to stop him. 

“There is nothing I can do for you, do you hear me?”

“I need information, and the only person who can give me that information is <i>you</i>! You’ve got the right connections, don’t you” she snapped, more hurt than angry this time.

He took his hands off her as if he had burnt himself on her arms and for a long while stood staring at her in disbelief. 

Then he shook his head. 

“Could it not wait until I was back in my office, at least? You will ruin this task here!”

“You don’t seriously want me to believe that I can just walk into the castle and up your gargoyle, then, do you?” she snorted.

Severus took a deep breath to steady himself. The sword was pressing against his side. He had to find a place to hide it, to find Potter and lead him to it, and to have it retrieved by him in conditions of need and valour, so that the boy could do whatever it was that he was supposed to do with it and that Severus wasn’t allowed to know of. 

But instead, he was standing here, wasting precious time, arguing with a silly girl who probably didn’t have the slightest idea of what danger she had put him in.

 “Listen, “ he said, “I have a pressing task at hand that is both of enormous importance and highly secret”. 

“Are you on your way towards <i>him</i>? Is that what makes it so secretive?”

“That is absolutely none of your business!” he snarled, “But whatever it is, I will <i>not</i> have that ruined by you, nor will I run the risk of you spilling the beans to whoever captures you and puts pressure on you to retrieve the truth. I will therefore have to…”

“Don’t worry,” she interrupted him, “I won’t be in your way”. 

And before he could lift his wand to perform the spell on her he had had in mind, she had transformed, and a tiny little robin flew up into a branch of the nearest tree. 

Severus took a few moments to gather his thoughts. 

So she was indeed an animagus, a bird as it happened, which was not the worst thing she could be if it came to moving inconspicuously. And her previous behaviour had proved that she was still on the right side – well obviously she was… she was a muggle-born after all – and that she still trusted him, which he wasn’t sure was the best thing really. In any case, the chance that she would delibrately sabotage his task was non-existent. 

On the other hand, witnessing what he was about to do made her an accomplice and, therefore, a liability because, as he had told her, she could very easily fall into the hands of Death Eaters and be forced to reveal the truth about his loyalties. 

And then, all would be lost. 

But what could he do about her? Her present form was the best one to stay unnoticed, but he couldn’t petrify nor confund her in that state. And time was really pressing. 

Finally, he stretched his finger towards her. 

“Come on, hop on it,” he told her, “Don’t worry. I will not kill you”. 

Billie hesitated. 

Of course, if he had wanted to kill her, he would have done so already half an hour ago. 

So she did as he told her. 

He loosened his woolen scarf somewhat, unbuttoned the top of his thick winter cloak, and then brought her closer to the opening he had made. 

“Go in. I cannot carry you on my shoulder, and I will not have you fly behind me because you will be caught in seconds. So you will have to go in here”. 

Billie instantly felt his body warmth emanating from inside his travelling cloak. It wasn’t the most disagreeable place she could think of to hide so she left his finger and hopped on his chest and wriggled herself through the gap he had created. 

There was quite some space inside. She hooked her little claws on the thick fabric of his robes, somewhere between his shoulder and his chest, and fell silent. Severus readjusted his scarf a little bit, but was careful to leave some opening for her to breathe, and then, he started to move. 

 

It was a pitch-dark night. The crescent moon and stars were nearly constantly hidden behind a thick layer of black clouds, for there was fresh snow in the air. Severus knew it wasn’t safe to light his wand. In fact, he needed his bat’s eyes, but he couldn’t transform with Billie inside his cloak. 

He followed what he thought was a path towards what sounded like water. He knew that the Forest had a river flowing through it, so if he could reach that he might see a little better. 

It wasn’t long before he found himself on the river bank, where a little light was indeed reflected on the water surface. That would be enough for him to fly. 

He took out his wand, rose into the air and moved forward. 

It wasn’t easy to scan the forest with so little light to help him. Potter, of course, was nowhere to be seen but he hadn’t really expected that. Hermione Granger would have made sure they were well kept out of sight. 

No, what he was looking for was a hiding place for the sword. Dumbledore wanted it to be found in need and valour… courage in other words. Well, on a night like this, with snow in the air and the whole forest creaking with frost, there couldn’t be a better way for Potter to show courage and need than to take a nice dive in a completely frozen pond. 

Severus had to admit that he quite enjoyed the prospect of witnessing this, so the sooner he found such a pond, the better. 

 

Meanwhile, Billie sat huddled inside his cloak, wondering what on earth he was up to. She received a funny feeling in her stomach and understood that Snape had taken off. But then, when she peered through the small gap between his scarf and the unbuttoned collar of his cloak, she realised that he couldn’t have transformed. He was still wearing his clothes. 

That was strange. Could he fly without his bat’s wings? Or had he transformed anyway and had she gone into nothingness, together with his clothes? From what she could see through the gap, which was absolutely nothing, she could well imagine how she was hanging somewhere into non-being, where all vanished objects were sent to.

Well, at least she was still alive, and that was more than she had hoped for that morning, although she might have hoped for awarmer welcome. On the other hand, she perfectly understood his fury. If he was playing a double role, and there was still no proof that he wasn’t, he was constantly balancing between life and death and therefore had to be on his guard all the time. The last thing you needed then was an extra person to look after who he clearly, and understandably, considered as nothing more than a burden, especially if he was indeed on his way to some dangerous task. 

She shouldn’t have followed him here. What if he was on his way to The Dark One? She had no idea what Voldemort was like but from what she had heard and understood he had to be an exceptionally powerful wizard. So there was no way she could ever escape his attention. And what then? With Billie hiding inside his cloak, Severus would of course be found out and all would be lost. 

But didn’t Fred say that the Death Eaters used their mark to apparate to Voldemort? Or did he say that it was used for communication? She couldn’t remember. All this thinking was not good for a bird’s brains anyway, so she decided to rest her mind a little and just wait and see what was happening. 

 

As he followed the river deeper into the forest, Severus suddenly realised that he should make sure Potter was on the same river bank as the sword. Showing valour and need by dipping himself in a pond was one thing, but being killed by hypothermia or drowning whilst crossing a river in this weather would be overdoing it. 

But how was he supposed to know on which side of the river Potter was hiding? His Patronus could find the boy, of course, but he wasn’t going to send her towards him without having hidden the sword first.

And then, just a little way off the left river bank, he found the very thing he had been looking for. 

A pond, not too small and not too big either, that had formed itself at a place where several springs were coming together. 

He carefully landed on the side of it, and lit his wand. 

It was difficult to estimate its depth. A couple of feet, at least, but the water could be treacherous. 

He stooped to pick up a stone, muttered <i>Diffindo</i> and threw the stone into the rippling, black water that had appeared through the cracks in the ice. 

Four or five feet. Not more. 

From where he was standing, he could clearly see the stone reflecting the light of his wand at the bottom of the pond.

So that would be the place then. There was still the question of Potter being on this, or the other river bank, but an idea had already come into his mind to solve that problem, if he happened to be on the other side. 

 

Meanwhile, inside his cloak, Billie had caught the light of his wand and was now cautiously peering outside. It was hard to see what he was doing, but she heard the spell, and the cracking of the ice, followed by the splash of the stone that sank into the frozen pond. 

That puzzled her even more. 

And then, all of a sudden, he unbuttoned the rest of his cloak and an ice-cold air hit her full in the face but at the same time gave her a perfect view on what he was doing. 

He cast a quick look at her, just to make sure she was still there, and then grabbed into the inside of his pocket. 

Billie gasped when she saw the magnificent sword of Godric Gryffindor appear from inside his robes, its shining blade and the countless number of gems reflectied the light of Snape’s wand in the same breathtaking way as the Crown Jewels she had once seen in the Tower. 

But the sword’s splendour did not seem to impress Snape as much as it did her, quite on the contrary. He wispered <i>Diffindo </i>again, to make the opening in the ice a little bigger, and then, to Billie’s horror, dropped the sword into the dephts of the ice-cold pond. 

Then he whispered <i>Reparo </i>and the ice closed itself over it, leaving only a vague imprint of the sword visible from the side of the pond.

 

Billie’s rather expectant mood of just a few minutes before instantly made place for sheer terror. 

Harry needed this sword, and Ginny had tried to steal it for him, and now Snape had taken it to an obscure place in the middle of nowhere, even thrown it into a pond, where it would probably lay rusting at the bottom forever, far out of reach of anyone who needed it, not in the least Harry.

She had to escape from him… this very instant, before he could kill her or throw her into the pond herself. 

She wanted to spread her wings, but felt that it was impossible to move. She was paralysed… again!

“You wait here…” he muttered. 

Of course he had known exactly what she was up to and stopped her before she had even thought about escaping. 

But he hadn’t paralysed her. In fact, his long fingers had closed around her and he was now lifting her up, forcing her to unhook her claws from his robe. 

She was trembling all over. 

“Sssss…” he said, “Wait…” The trembling of that frail little body worried him. The heart of an animagus bird was definitely not stronger than its real counterpart, so he opened his fingers, brought the tip of his wand to the bird’s head and whispered “<i>corpus animalis reverso”</i>. 

The human Billie stood trembling as much as the bird, with the dark-blue eys wide in panic, but at least her heart was strong enough to cope with it now. 

“Do not move,” he warned her, his wand still pointing at her, “I will not petrify you, or gag you if you promise you will be quiet and trust me”. 

“Trust you?” she whispered incredulously. 

He nodded. “Promise”. 

“How can I trust you? After what you’ve just done!”

“Shall I bind you?” he hissed, “Believe me, it will not make you feel very comfortable in this cold”. 

“As if you mind!” she snapped bitterly

“I could have killed you hours ago if I had wanted to, you know”. 

That instantly silenced her. For a moment, her dark-blue eyes fought a battle with his, and then she cast them down and nodded. 

“Good… “ He removed the tip of his wand from her chest and pointed it at a spot somewhere ahead of him. 

“<i>Expecto Patronum!</i>”

She forgot a little of her fear when the beautiful silver doe flew out of the tip of his wand and galantly landed on the pond’s frozen surface. 

Billie had seen all sorts of patronuses in Harry’s DA class, but Snape’s was definitely the most beautiful of them all. 

The doe stood shining before them, covering them in her magnificent silver light. She stood quietly meeting Snape’s eye, waiting for his orders. 

“Find him,” Severus whispered, “and bring him here”. 

The doe gracefully turned away from them, strode to the other side of the pond, and without hesitation, made her way through the trees of a particularly dark part of the forest. 

“We had better follow her,” Severus whispered, “Can you fly?”

Billie nodded. It didn’t even cross her mind to escape anymore. It was as if the doe had reassured her; as if it was proving that, a person who was capable of casting such a beautiful and noble patronus, couldn’t possibly belong to the Dark side. 

 

But there wasn’t time to ponder on that. Severus transformed, and Billie did the same, and next, she was following the bat and the doe through the trees, on their way to whoever it was that they were trying to find in this forgotten place. 

 

She had no idea how long they had been flying. Half an hour perhaps, or more. In any case, at some point, the bat suddenly slowed down and landed on the branch of an old oak. Billie landed next to him. 

The doe, however, did not stop. She elegantly continued her walk through the trees, casting her light on whatever she passed, which enabled Billie and Snape to follow her movements from where they were sitting. 

And then she came at a clearing, just a yard ahead of them and there, suddenly, her silver light fell on a shape, a canvas of some sort … a tent… and in front of it stood a dark figure, a man, not too tall, who stood staring at the doe in wonder. 

Was he the person she was supposed to find? 

Billie cast a questioning look at the bat next to her, but Snape sat staring intently at the man ahead of them, as if he was trying to penetrate his mind from this distance. 

The doe moved a little closer to the person she had come to find, and then, as the silver light fell on him, Billie recognised with a shock the figure, the features and the untidy hair of Harry Potter. 

 

For several long moments nothing happened. Harry was clearly wondering where the patronus came from and what it wanted from him, and as the most wanted person in Voldemort’s world, he was probably not very confident that it meant well, even if it looked as pure and innocent as it did. 

Billie cast another sideways glance at the bat next to her, but Severus still stood transfixed. 

And then the doe turned and set a few steps in the direction of where they had come from. 

Harry hesitated. Severus continued his staring for a little while longer and then, as the doe cast a backwards glance at Harry, indicating that he should follow her, after which Harry set a hesitant step towards her, the bat spread its wings and very cautiously, and soundlessly, hopped, rather than flew, from one tree to another with Billie in his trail, back to where they had left the sword in the pond. 

 

They were back a little while before the silver light appeared through the trees, so that they could transform without the risk of being seen.Severus put a finger on his lips as soon as they had taken their human form again, and motioned for her to follow him a little way into the forest, where they could watch the pond from a gap between two oaks that stood practically grown together.

Billie felt her heart beat faster with every step the doe and Harry took towards them. Now that she had taken her human form again, also her human emotions had returned to her, and she stood now looking at the scene with a mixture of nervousness, wonder and intense love for the man who was now openly showing his devoteness to Harry, the boy he was always believed to hate more than anyone else in the world. 

She had difficulty swallowing, and she felt tears come into her eyes, which blurred the sight a little. She noiselessly lifted her arm to brush them away, which caused Severus to look at her sideways. He held his breath when he saw the tears in her eyes and the expression in them. If he still had any doubt on the nature of her intentions, it was now swept away.

 

Harry had now reached the pond, where the doe stood waiting for him. He cast an uncertain glance at her, but then, all of a sudden, on Severus’s command, her light started to fade, and a couple of seconds later, she had disappeared and the whole place was covered in darkness again. 

Harry lit his wand and let it shine on the frozen water surface. 

It took a while before he realised that something was lying in there. He stood moving his wand to and fro for a while, probably trying to find out what it was he was supposed to be seeing, and all of a sudden froze. He fell on his knees, brought the tip of his wand to where it touched the ice and sat peering into the dark dephts of the pond, where he probably saw the sword’s gems reflecting his light.

Billie smiled. He had found it! 

But then she frowned. Why had Severus gone through the trouble of throwing it into the pond and restore the ice on its surface, when he might as well have leaned it against a tree trunk or something, which would have made it a lot easier for Harry to retrieve it? 

Unless he didn’t want to make it easy for Harry to retrieve it… 

Perhaps he didn’t really like Harry after all, despite their being on the same side, and this was some sort of revenge or cruel joke he was playing on the boy. Or… and now her Ravenclaw brain sprang into action… Harry was a Gryffindor, the House of courage and bravery, and this was Godric Gryffindor’s magical sword. Perhaps, if you wanted to take the sword and claim it for yourself, you had to prove that you were worthy of it. Just like Excalibur!

Billie cast another sideways glance at the man next to her, but his face was completely hidden in the shadows and for as far as she could tell, he wasn’t meeting her eye. Instead, he stood staring at the boy’s movements as if in a trance.

 

Meanwile, Harry had broken the ice and was now pulling off his outer clothes. 

Summoning the sword had not worked, which confirmed Billie’s theory about the demands Gryffindor had put on whoever wanted to grab his sword. She shivered when she saw Harry pull off his shoes and socks, and pressed her lips firmly together for fear her gasp would be heard when she saw him take a deep breath and jump into the water. 

They heard the soft splash. Billie reckoned that Harry wouldn’t need more than just a couple of seconds to dive under, grab the sword and appear on the surface again, but it took longer. 

Five seconds passed, ten… 

From where they were standing, they could detect some sort of disturbance in the water, but it was hard to tell what was wrong. Billie cast another look at Severus and this time, she saw him turn to her in wonder too. 

They looked back at where Harry was supposed to appear any moment now but nothing came, and then, just as she felt Severus move, probably with the intention of rushing towards the pond and rescuing Harry, her eyes fell on another figure that came loose from the shadows on the other side of the pond. 

“Wait,” she whispered, grabbing Severus by the arm, thus stopping him from rushing to Harry himself, “Look!”

It was hard to tell who the other person was, but it was clear that their sole intention was to jump into the water themselves and rescue Harry. 

It looked like a man. He was pulling off his clothes as he was running to the hole in the ice, and plunged the upper half of his body into the ice cold water without hesitation. 

In the light of the wand, Billie suddenly recognised a shock of red hair. 

Ron… of course!

And now it really only took a handful of seconds for Ron to pull Harry out of the water and into the snow. 

There was another disturbance, during which Ron bent over Harry’s neck and snapped something in two… a pendant perhaps? Strange thing for a boy to wear in any case… And then the two boys sat argueing a little, while they got into their clothes again.

It was only then, with the tension of the moment gone, that Billie realised she was still holding Severus by the arms. 

“Sorry,” she mouthed, and let go of him. 

But before she knew what was going on, he had grabbed her himself, and not in the softest way, and the next moment, they were souring through the air, away from the two boys at the pond. 

They landed about ten yards further away. Severus instantly transformed and Billie, hardly knowing what was going on, followed his example. Then, very carefully, the bat made its way back towards the boys, and Billie understood why they had fled so suddenly.

Where they had stood only seconds before, Harry was now searching the ground. The boys must have been aware of their presence; perhaps even heard them move, and Billie sincerely hoped they hadn’t recognised Severus or herself. 

“Is there anything there?” she heard Ron ask.

“No,” said Harry.  

She let out a deep sigh of relief.

 

They sat on a branch watching the boys move away from the pond, to where a cluster of rocks lay half-hidden in the snow. 

Billie saw Harry lay the pendant on it and hand the sword to Ron. 

There was some argument again. Ron seemed reluctant to handle the sword. 

Billie felt Severus shift next to her. He had hopped off the branch and transformed again. 

She did the same. 

Even in this darkness, she could tell that he looked tense. He didn’t say anything, but his breathing came more rapidly than usual, and all of a sudden, he lay his arm around her waist from behind and pulled her so close that she could feel his heart beating against her shoulder. 

Harry made a very funny hissing sound. 

And then all sorts of funny things were happening. 

Harry wanted Ron to stab the pendant but another voice was heard, a high-pitched, ice-cold, hissing voice that instantly made Billie shudder with fear. 

Severus put a hand over her mouth to prevent her from gasping or even shouting aloud, when two black figures rose out of the locket, a boy and a girl, Harry and Hermione … but in a horrific, distorted shape.

And those shapes were talking, or sneering rather. 

Billie felt the grip around her waist tighten as the two figures sent the most horrible insults to the red-haired boy with the sword below. 

And then Harry – the real Harry - shouted and shouted, and finally, Ron raised the sword and stabbed the pendant, or locket rather, and the voices and the shapes were gone. 

 

A warm bit of air touched Billie’s cheek as she felt Severus let out a deep sigh of relief. He removed his hand from her lips and for a few moments, let his chin rest on the top of her head, as if he had just survived a particularly heavy task. 

 

Harry had now moved towards Ron. Billie couldn’t understand what they were saying, but suddenly, she had a feeling that they shouldn’t be there; that this was something private taking place between the two boys, which they had no business with. 

Severus was probably thinking the same. He lifted his head and took his arm away from her and transformed. 

They followed the river for a long while, until they were a couple of miles away from the pond and the boys, where the sound of their disapparition could not be heard anymore.


	5. Part IV Chapter 5

5

 

They landed on the flat stone in the clearing they had left a few hours before and this time, Billie only felt the usual uneasiness apparition caused with humans. 

“Transform, Billie”, Severus whispered. 

She did as he told her and he brought her back to the warm place inside his cloak where she could end the rest of their journey in safety.

 

They reached the Headmaster’s office without having met a single teacher or ghost in the tunnel or the corridor. The existence of this particular passage way was probably still a secret to all, except for the Headmasters. 

“He has done it, Albus,” Severus said, as soon as he had closed the door behind him. “He has the sword and he destroyed the locket with it”. 

Billie couldn’t see what was happening, but she supposed Severus was talking to the portrait of their previous Headmaster on the wall. 

“Well done, Severus!” said Albus. 

“And you will probably not tell me what the devilry was that was lurking in it?”

“I think you can make that out for yourself, Severus. If you saw Harry destroy it, then you must have caught a glimpse of what was inside it”. 

“Was it the same thing that destroyed your hand, when you were carrying that ring?”

“It was, I am afraid”.

“But what is it?” Severus asked irritably. “It sounded like him, but it wasn’t him, or am I wrong?”

“You are not entirely wrong….” There was a pauze, during which Dumbledore was probably reflecting on how much more he could tell Severus. “Look, Severus, what matters most is that Harry has found out how to destroy these … devilry… things, and that he has managed to do so”. 

“It was not him. It was Ronald Weasley who did it”. 

“That is of no importance, as long as it is Harry who …”

“Yes, I know…” Severus interrupted him. He was in no mood to hear Dumbledore repeat the horrible fate that was awaiting the boy at the end, especially with a girl hiding inside his robes. 

“Well, I am off to bed. Goodnight”. 

“Goodnight, Severus. And thank you”. 

Severus turned his back towards his predecessors, spoke the silent words that made one of the bookcases swing aside, and entered the room that lay beyond. 

 

“You can transform now, Billie. It is safe”. 

The sudden light made her blink a couple of times and rub her painful eyes before she could see where she was. 

She found herself in a magnificent room she had never seen in the castle before. It had several large windows that were overlooking most sides of the grounds and the landscape beyond, and that were framed with heavy, dark-red velvet curtains.

Around a huge fireplace stood several comfortable seats, a chaise-longue and a couch, all dressed in embroidered damast. Over the back of the chaise-longue lay the travelling cloak she had just come out of. 

Severus was pouring a drink at a huge desk that stood in the middle of a semi-circle formed by four enormous windows that reached from the floor up to the ceiling. The view from the leather desk chair had to be breathtaking, but now the curtains were shut. 

“Wow,” was all she could say. The room looked even more luxurous in the light of the hundreds of candles that were standing everywhere. “It’s beautiful!”. 

Severus smiled and handed her a glass with a golden liquid in it. 

“Thank you” she said as she took it, “What is this?”

“Mead. It will warm you up”. 

“I’m not cold, really,” she smiled, “I was quite comfortable inside your cloak”. 

“Yes, well… I was not”. 

He motioned for her to take a seat next to the fireplace in which a nice fire was crackling and dancing, casting long shadows on the walls around it.

He took place opposite her. 

“So now you know where my loyalties lie. Satisfied?”

The mead tasted quite strong. It left a prickling feeling where it passed through her throat that very nearly made her cough. 

“Erm… yes… “ She swallowed once more, to make sure she wouldn’t have a fit and ruin her reputation and met his gaze. Her face instantly broke into a dazzling smile. “Of course I am. I was right about you all along, wasn’t  I, and it’s a terrible shame that I seem to be the only one”. 

“And it has to stay that way!” he warned her, “Do not even breathe a word about this to anybody! In fact, I am seriously considering wiping your memory again tonight”. 

“I won’t tell anyone, I promise. Besides, I did what you told me to do. I took Occlumency lessons with Francis”. 

For the first time that evening, a look of genuine appreciation passed over his face. 

“And were you successful?”

“Well, that’s up to you to decide, of course, but according to Francis I was. I managed to fool a couple of policemen to start with”. 

She laughed when she caught his bewildered look. “A long story. One of them appeared to be a wizard, and not the nicest one in the world. He had a suspicion I was a witch and that I knew Terence Higgs, but I managed to make him believe I didn’t….” She pauzed, “Why am I telling you this? He wasn’t even a legilimiens!”

Severus chuckled. “Yes, I was wondering the same. And what does Terence Higgs have to do with this anyway?”

“He was part of a gang that terrorised Francis’s village. I don’t know how he ended up there, but he seemed quite eager to prove he was a Death Eater”. 

“A Death Eater? <i>Higgs</i>?”

“My thoughts exactly. So I challenged him to show me his Dark Mark”

“And…?”

“Oh, he had a Dark Mark, all right. I mean it was a mark <i>and</i> it was dark, and that’s where the comparison stops, I’m afraid. I suppose he bought it in a tattoo shop somewhere”

Severus openly laughed now. 

“Wasn’t he surprised that you should recognise his dark mark as a forgery? You are not supposed to ever have seen one”. 

“Me, a muggle-born, you mean?” Her eyes were twinkling with the memory of the scene in the woods, “Surprised is not the best word I think. He was absolutely livid. If I hadn’t tied him up like a dry sausage, he would at least have strangled me”. 

“I am not sure I understand you correctly,” said Severus amused, “Am I right in saying that the somewhat fearful, charms-immature girl I have taught for over eight years displayed aggression in the presence of a violent supporter of the Dark Lord? You surely were not alone with him?”

“We were alone, yes”, she smiled when she saw his eyebrows raise in wonder, “And he was more pathetic than violent, if you ask me. And he may be a supporter of the Dark One, but I don’t think those feelings are reciprocal. I don’t think the Dark One is really waiting for Higgs and his fake tattoo to turn up on his doorstep, but you know him better than me, of course”. 

Severus sat staring at her as if she’d suddenly turned into Voldemort himself. 

“Miss Matthews, “ he muttered, shaking his head, “I don’t know if this is the result of the mead or what Lejeune did to you but I hardly recognise you. I find you a tiny bit … daring”. 

Billie snorted with laughter. “I’ve hardly touched the mead, Professor. And I haven’t been eating or drinking anything funny either”. She took a sip from her drink anyway and chuckled, “I think I’ve taken over Francis’s style”. 

And being in love gave one wings, she added silently.

“I should have thought of that,” muttered Severus, “Cheeky bugger…”.

“Oh, I love him to bits” said Billie fondly. “I miss him terribly already”.

“And is that why you came to see me? To share that with me?”

 Billie sniggered when she caught his familiar, cynical glance but then her grin faded and she became serious. 

“No…” she sighed, “I wish I did”. 

She put down the glass and crossed her arms. “It’s my Uncle Richard. And Peter, my brother. They’re in danger”. 

“Yes, well… aren’t we all?”

Billie shook her head, “You don’t understand. Uncle Richard is the muggle Prime Minister, and Peter is his Chief of Staff. They fear someone is plotting against them… to grab power… well it’s clear who they are, of course”.The face opposite her was now an expressionless mask. 

“A couple of weeks ago, a man suddenly started to work there. Noone knew where he came from. He hadn’t passed any exams and none of the recruitment staff could recall ever having seen his file, or having met him during an interview. Still, he turned up, and obviously Uncle Richard immediately demanded his resignation. He wants his staff to be fully qualified and to respect the recruitment process everyone has to follow. 

But the man showed him a complete file, with test results, findings allegedly registered by the Head of the HR Department, and references that went down to the Royal Family itself”.

“Forgeries?”

“Probably, but there’s nothing about those documents that proves they are false. The handwritings and signatures are exact copies of the originals. The people who were supposed to have written them could not have done it in a better way”. 

“Or they <i>did </i>write them after he had imperiused them?”

“Yes, that’s also a possibility. They’re definitely not under his spell anymore, but perhaps he only made him do his bidding and released them when he got what he wanted”. 

Severus nodded. “What is his name?”

“He calls himself Degalus, but that’s probably a false name”. 

Degalus… none of the Death Eaters called himself Degalus. 

“Do you have any idea what he looks like?” asked Severus. 

“I have his picture”, she got to her feet and walked over to the richly ornamented coat stand, on which her bag was hanging. “Look. It’s not a very good one, I’m afraid. We had to take a photocopy out of his file”. 

Rodolphus Lestrange… 

So the Dark Lord was serious about invading the Muggle Ministry.

“Do you know him?”

Severus looked up into her worried eyes. He hated to admit this. In fact, he had much rather dismiss the whole thing as insignificant and spend a pleasant, carefree evening in her charming company instead, but he couldn’t leave these people in the claws of Death himself. 

“Sit down, Billie”. 

She lowered herself on the chaise-longue next to him. 

“I think your uncle and brother are in grave danger,” He saw the eyes widen in terror and he briefly touched the hand that was resting on the chaise-longue’s arm, “I have heard about plans to invade the Ministry but that was a while ago, before I was installed here in fact, and I have not been involved in any of these discussions ever since… Still, … “ He cut himself short. 

He knew what would be the easiest way to get information, but he had absolutely no desire to take that path. He tried to think of another source that could help him…  there had to be an alternative. Every single one of the Dark Lord’s most faithful servants passed before his eyes but apart from Lucius, there was absolutely noone he could ask for information without raising suspicion. And Lucius himself was far too scared and insignificant these days to be able to give him more than just a few little-informative details. 

So he had no choice. If he wanted to help this girl, he had to sell his soul. 

“I think I know where to find more news,” he said slowly, “possibly even concrete plans”. 

He looked grave when he spoke.

“It’s going to be dangerous to retrieve the information, isn’t it?” she asked softly.

“Meeting them is always dangerous,” said Severus, lifting the corners of his mouth humourlessly “But I think I can handle this particular source rather well”. 

Billie looked down. 

“I hate sending you there,” she muttered, “Isn’t there any other way to get to those plans? I don’t like making use of you like this, in the first place. I had hoped you would have known what they were up to and that would have been enough for me”

“Well, as I told you, I have not been involved in the planning and there is no other way to retrieve the information you need”. 

He put his hand on hers again, “And it is not as if <i>you</i> are using me, Billie. If the British Muggle government is on the verge of falling, I consider it my duty to help  you prevent that. Besides… my task is relatively simple. You will probably be faced with much more danger when you pass this information and are involved in the protection of your uncle and brother. Or is that not the intention?”

“Yes, of course, it is”, said Billie, “But the Order have also placed an Auror there” 

“That is good news”, He took his hand away again, “Well… first of all I have a staff meeting to attend this morning, but I will be leaving for … our source… immediately afterwards. If all goes well, I should be able to provide you with some more information by this evening”. 

The grateful smile she sent him compensated quite a bit for the offer he would have to make. 

“Today is Friday,” he continued, “Should my source be absent, or the opportunity not present itself to retrieve the information you need, I could still make another attempt over the weekend. We… tend to meet occasionally, on Saturday evening. But I hope that will not be necessary. I take it the Ministry is closed during the weekend?”

“The Ministry, yes, but Peter and my Uncle often spend the weekend in Downing Street”. 

“Without the rest of the staff then?”

“Yes, most of the staff are off. I believe only the cook and the cleaning lady are on duty, but only if my Uncle asks for them”. 

“Which he had better not do. They can easily be imperiused”. 

“I know. He has been warned”. 

“Good.” 

He came to his feet. Billie rose together with him.

“Breakfast will be served in the Great Hall in about half an hour. I will go down, of course, but I will ask a house elf to bring your food to this room and to stay available in case you need anything”. 

He opened the heavy curtains with a flick of his wand. It was still quite dark outside, but at the far end of the lake, the first dark-red and orange of a new dawn were appearing, casting a weak winter light on the rocks and water surface at the horizon. 

“Can I stay here, with the curtains open?” asked Billie. She felt very exposed with all these high windows around her. 

“There is no safer place to be,” smiled Severus, ”These are probably the most mystical rooms in the castle. Noone can enter them, except in the company of the Headmaster himself, and those windows are completely invisible from the outside”. 

Billie frowned. “How can that be?”

Severus put an arm round her shoulder and steered her to the semi-circle of windows at his desk. 

“Look. Do you know this place?”

“Yes, of course,” said Billie, more interested in his closeness than the view from this room, “That’s the Quidditch Pitch”. 

“Yes, and where were you usually sitting when you were watching the games?”

“On the oppositie side, in the Ravenclaw stands”. 

“Viewing… ?”

“This side of the castle… Of course!” she met the black eyes next to her, “There’s a blank wall next to the Headmaster’s office tower if you’re looking at it from the stands”. 

“…which is where we are now standing, correct”, said Severus, removing his arm from her shoulders “And there is absolutely no magic that can cause the wall to reveal its windows and the secrets lying behind them”. 

“Brilliant!” laughed Billie. “You can watch without being watched. Do you spend many hours by these windows?”

“As many as is needed, Miss Matthews. I do keep an eye on a few things. One has to, if one has an army of Death Eaters patrolling the corridors; a set of Dementors hanging around the castle, and two deputees in one’s employement like the couple you have recently had the pleasure of meeting yourself.”

Billie turned to face him and put her hand on his arm. 

“The students are lucky to have you here, Severus. It’s cruel that they don’t evenunderstand that”. 

“Yes, well… we have been there before, have we not?” He touched a lock of hair with his long fingers, “How are you, by the way? Have you fully recovered from your encounter with the Carrows? I have to admit that you look in excellent health”. 

“Thank you. Apart from a scar or two I have fully recovered”. 

“And the injury around your abdomen?”

“It doesn’t hurt anymore. But the x-ray wasn’t a hundred percent reassuring. One of my ovaries may have sustained damage”. 

“That sounds serious, Billie,” There was genuine concern in the dark eyes now, “You should have that checked properly. You could be faced with fertility problems”. 

“I should have a keyhole surgery, I know. But I don’t think my fertility is more important at the moment than the war and the attacks on innocent muggles like my uncle and brother. Furthermore, who would want to make babies in this climate?”. 

“You say that now, but you are a young woman. When this war is over and you step into a serious relationship, you may regret not having had that surgery now”. 

“Yes, well… that’s supposing a lot, isn’t it. We’ll see what happens when it happens”. 

He shook his head. “You are stubborn. But your loyalty becomes you”. 

“Thank you,” she smiled. 

“Very well, I have to hurry up now. What are you going to do in my absence?”

“Going for a walk is not an option, I understand, so I will have breakfast, and perhaps take a bath. May I use your bathroom?” she looked around her, “Do you have one at all?”

“Naturally,” he grinned, “Through that door, over there. And I also think you should take some rest. You can use my bed if you like. You will pass it on your way to the bathroom”. 

“I’m not really tired, thanks. I slept most of the day yesterday”.“Well, I suggest you tell me all about your journey tonight. There are plenty of books to keep you busy. I am sure you will find something that might interest you”. 

“Don’t worry. I’m sure I won’t have the time to be bored”. 

“Good. See you tonight then. The House Elf will come to visit you in about fifteen minutes”. 

“Severus?” she put her hand on his arm again to prevent him from walking away, “Please be careful. If you can’t easily get hold of the plans, leave them. We’ll find other ways to stop the assault”. 

“I do not think so,” he said, “Why else would you have gone through all this effort to find me?”

“If we have to do without them, we will. I’d much rather we were facing the Death Eaters unprepared, with the risk of being killed, than having you found out and killed yourself, after which <i>we</i> will be killed anyway”. 

“Yes, well, that is an exceptionally sunny way of describing where we stand, thank you very much, Miss Matthews!”. As always, sarcasm was the best armour against a too personal twitch in their conversation, and despite the heaviness of what she had been saying, Billie couldn’t help laughing. 

“Have a nice day,” he said, briefly touching her cheek before he turned away from her and walked to the door. 

“You too,” she said.


	6. Part IV Chapter 6

6

 

Severus passed through the splendid wrought-iron gates of the Malfoy Manor with a determination that, for once, perfectly reflected his mood.Lucius was at the Ministry and Narcissa had joined her husband for a day out in London; Voldemort was still looking for Gregorovich in Hungary or Rumania, for whatever reason, and Severus didn’t think there would be any Death Eaters present at this time of the day either, apart from the very person he was hoping to find alone…

 

“Goodmorning, Bella”

“Severus….. “ The once so beautiful face that had now so sadly degraded due to a deranged mind and the cruelty of the woman’s many deeds,twisted into an expression that mostly resembled delight at his sudden appearance. “I hadn’t expected to see you today…”

She sounded like a cat who had just been presented a saucer of cream. 

“Forgive me for intruding on you so unexpectedly, Bellatrix”. 

“Oh, but you’re most welcome! Most welcome indeed. I was actually bored to death. Do come in, please!”

She threw the door to the drawing room wide open to let a somewhat amused Severus in. 

“Charming as I may find your presence in this house, Bella, I had in fact been hoping to find the Dark Lord here. Is he not here?”

“He’s travelled east”. 

“I thought he said he would shortly be back. I am surprised he is still kept there,” said Severus.

“No… “ she said, pursing her full lips as she sensually let her fingers run over the front of his robes, “He won’t be back until next week at the earliest. But since you have come all this long way from Scotland… I can’t see why you shouldn’t stay a little longer and keep me company…” 

Her moods had always been completely unpredictable, but this drastic change of attitude towards him was quite surprising. True, he had risen many steps on her appreciation scale after he had made the Unbreakable Vow for Draco and killed Dumbledore, but the fact that this act had given him the exceptional status as Voldemort’s right hand had caused so much jealousy in her sick mind, that she had never shown much delight at meeting him. So where this enthusiasm suddenly came from puzzled him. 

“You were bored, you say? Why is that?”

“I’m all alone, here! The Dark Lord forbade me to enjoy myself with the prisoners, for fear they would no longer be fit for use, and everyone else is out”. 

She gracefully slid herself into the exclusive leather couch that stood in the centre of the magnificent room and when Severus showed an inclination to lower himself on the seat opposite her, she jerked her upper body forwards and frantically started to tap the place next to her on the couch. 

“You must sit here, Severus,” she pouted, sounding very much like a spoiled five-year-old, “Close to me”. 

He did as he was told, his face an unfathomable mask, unsure what was going to happen next but not too uncomfortable with the course of events. 

“I’ve been lonely, you know” she confided in him, laying a slim, clawlike hand on his leg. 

“Really… where’s Rolph? You’re still married to him, are you not?”

She angrily drew her hand away from him and let out an irritated sort of screech. “Rolph! He’s never here, is he. And you know what he’s like! Hardly any attention for his poor little wife”. She jerked her upper body towards him again, so that her face landed at just an inch of his. The long, varnished fingernails started on an exploration of his cheek and neck.

“Bella…” he muttered, “Where’s Rolph? You do know he has a temper, especially if he were to walk in and find you practically sitting on my lap, clearly <i>not</i> to discuss the weather”. 

“Your lap, indeed! Is that an invitation…?” she crooned, and before he could brace himself, she had thrown one of her long legs over his and was straddling him like a horse. As if she wanted to highlight the erotic effect of what she was doing, she arched her back to present her full bosom to him and with her hands on either side of his face forced him to look into her dark, mad eyes. 

Severus was little interested in what there was to read there, so he didn’t even try. Instead, he tried to keep his mind clear. He rather painfully realised that, despite the loathing he felt for the woman who was now so openly offering herself to him, his body spoke a completely different language. He had to be very careful to stay in control, at least until he had found out what her husband was up to. 

But that was going to be extremely difficult. The full lips were now playing around his and she was pressing her body so hard against his, that there could be little doubt about the excitement his treacherous body was displaying. 

“You’re naughty, Severus…” she whispered against his lips, “Naughty, naughty, naughty… You desire your friend’s wife”.

“Well, why is he not here to take my place then?” muttered Severus, “He is in Downing Street, is he not?”

She instantly threw her arms away from him, her eyes large with fury. 

“How do you know <i>that?</i>” she screeched, “Noone knows that! Except the Dark Lord’s chosen ones”. 

“I was under the impression that I belonged to that intimate circle of the Dark Lord myself,” Severus said calmly, “Then you will not be surprised to hear that The Dark Lord and myself do have private conversations”.“Did he tell you about our plans with the Muggle Ministry?” Bellatrix screeched incredulously, “He can’t have! That’s none of your business. You’re too far away in your school anyway”. 

“Oh, but I have excellent Deputies, as you well know” He lay his hands on her sides, just underneath each of her breasts and started to walk his fingers up and down. If she got into one of her jealous fits again, she might dash from the room and throw him out of the house, and all information would be lost. 

His fingers seemed to have the effect he was hoping for. She started to wriggle under his touch, like a cat that was scratched on his belly, and moved her upper body closer to him again. 

“Believe me, Bella” muttered Snape, nuzzling the soft, bare skin just above the neckline of her low-cut silk dress, “After the PM is killed and the Ministry has fallen, the Dark Lord will need all his men… and women of course… to help him restore law and order in the Muggle world… “ As he was speaking, his lips were following the length of her neckline while his hands had moved up and were now softly kneading her breasts, “I am surprised he has not informed us all, yet… “ She was now purring like a cat, “… given the imminence of the assault he is planning”. 

“It’s not that imminent, yet…” Bellatrix moaned, clawing her fingernails deep into the fabric of his robe, in an effort to reach the flesh of his upper arms “They had to postpone it… took too much preparation and there is a European top coming in March too… ooo”. 

He had overdone it a little bit. She was so aroused now that there wasn’t going to come very valuable information out of her anymore… not until he had given her what she had been longing for the moment he appeared on her doorstep. 

 

Which took an awful lot longer than he had reckoned.

The woman was an absolute nutter and, probably due to her madness, practically insatiable. It wasn’t the first time that he had been her guest, and she had always been a little peculiar in bed, but ever since she had come out of Azkaban, it had become more and more clear that her sexual appetite was going the same way as her mental health, meaning completely mental. 

Finally, Severus managed to get her so exhausted after her umpteenth climax that she dropped herself face-down into one of the pillows and remained there completely motionless, as if she had dropped dead. 

And that was the perfect moment for Severus to spring into action.He grabbed for his wand in the pile of clothes that were lying next to the bed, and muttered a deep-sleep incantation. 

Then he quickly pulled on his clothes, walked over to where she was lying, lifted a bit of her untidy mass of hair and softly tapped her cheek.She didn’t even stir. His incantation had done its work. 

 

He knew his way very well in this enormous house. Bellatrix’s room gave access to the bathroom, but next to that was Rodolphus’s study. 

He knocked just to be on the safe side but all was quiet, and entered.

It had to be his lucky day. On the desk were all sorts of plans and schemes thrown together. 

He lifted the rolls of parchment, making sure he put them back exactly where he had found them, until he got sight of a copy of the Prime Minister’s agenda for the next weeks. 

The European top was indeed scheduled for the last week of March. Severus leafed through the different pages until he came at a date that was circled in red. 

The sixteenth of May. 

He studied the days before that date but there was nothing written there. On the evening of the 16th, there was a banquet at the Tate Modern… the official opening of the works in preparation of the millenium festivities. 

So apart from the PM, also the Lord Mayor and the Home Secretary were definitely going to be there, possibly even the a representative of the Crown and a long list of MPs and local prominents. 

In other words: a perfect occasion for an attack. 

Before he extended his search to the other documents on Rolph’s desk, he tiptoed back to the door and listened intently. 

The house was still covered in deep silence, and there were no sounds of movements to be heard from Bella’s room either. 

He sealed the door, opened the one that lead to the bathroom between the two rooms, opened the shower tab and sealed the door that lead to Bella’s room from the inside. Then he walked back to the study and cast a muffliato spell anyway, just to be on the safe side. 

There were a couple of original HR files there which Rodolphus had obviously used to put his own record together. He found a few of what seemed to be efforts to copy a Ministry badge, but it didn’t look as if Rodolphus had been very successful in his attempt. 

Severus made a mental note to inform Billie that she should have the man’s badge checked on its authenticity. If Rodolphus had found a way to duplicate the original ones, then many more Death Eaters would have free access to the PM’s residence and possibly even Parliament. And then, one Auror and a relatively inexperienced witch would never be enough to stop them.

There was a map of the residence’s ground floor and basement, on which Rodolphus had drawn three circles. 

Severus had a closer look at them and concluded that they had to be backdoors, or small windows through which it might be easier to break into the house. All three spots were at the backside of the house, probably giving out on the terrace or garden. He looked if there was another map of the grounds perhaps, but there wasn’t. If Rolph was planning to let intruders in through these windows or doors, he would probably lead them to the house from the neighbouring St James’s Park. 

Still, the place was probably highly secured. It would be much easier and quicker to simply have the Death Eaters apparate into the garden than to follow this route. Billie had better protect the place against that too.

There wasn’t much more to be found on the desk and the afternoon was rapdily moving on. It was high time he left before Rolph, Lucius, or anyone else returned from their work. 

He entered the bathroom; flicked off his clothes, stepped under the streaming water and was finished in less than thirty seconds. Then he turned off the shower tap; felt for the nearest bathtowel that was hanging on a small stand next to the bath, dried himself and pulled on his clothes again. 

The house was still deadly silent. Excellent. 

Then he walked back to Bella’s room, where he found her lying in exactly the same position as he had left her. He took out his wand and undid the spell he had cast on her. 

She stirred in her sleep and shifted her head a little, so that it would have been half-facing the window if it hadn’t completely been covered by her hair.

“Bella…” He leaned over her and pushed a lock behind her ear, “I have to go”.

She muttered something incomprehensible in protest.

“You were saying?”

She turned on her back and extended a hand to pull him towards her again. 

“No, Bella, I have to leave” He had had enough of her to last a lifetime, “Rolph will not appreciate it if he finds you here with me in an empty house”. 

“I want you in the shower,” she crooned, clutching his front robes with both hands to pull him closer still, “We haven’t been there yet, have we”.“I have been there already. You will have to shower on your own”. 

She sat up so suddenly that her head nearly collided with his. “How long have I slept?” she shrieked, suddenly half hysterical, “What time is it?”

“Half past four,” he hushed, “We only took a nap”.

“Goooood” she said, now pushing the varnished toes of one foot up his leg. “Rolph won’t be back until six”.

“Lucius comes back earlier”. 

“Who cares about Lucius!” 

“I do”. 

“He’s seen us before, you know”. 

“Yes, but that was years ago, even before he married your sister, and I do not think he would appreciate it if he found out what has just happened under his roof”.

“Poeh… as if he cares! He has other worries on his mind now that he has fallen from grace!”. 

“Be that as it may, he is a friend,” said Severus rising to his full height, “And my staff is waiting for me. I have to go”. 

“All right then,” she muttered sullenly, “Have it your way”. 

“You cannot complain, you know,” said Severus half-amused. And then he definitively turned away from her. “I may be back,” he said before he closed the door behind him, “… if you are very sweet”. 

She purred with conceit, and with a triumphant grin on her face turned on her side again and closed her eyes.


	7. Part IV Chapter 7

7

 

The Headmaster’s private quarters were covered in darkness when he entered. 

He pointed his wand at a couple of candles on the widow sills. A delicate light instantly appeared in the room that weakly illuminated the figure on the couch. 

He sat down on the seat opposite her. 

It was the second woman he sat watching in her sleep that evening, but the contrast couldn’t be bigger. Where his whole body was still aching from the way it had passed through the hands, or rather claws, of the previous one – not on the whole an unpleasant experience, but one that left him little satisfied – he could not imagine that he should ever have such mad, such completely loveless and respectless sex with this creature. 

And that was not because he didn’t find her attractive… 

Billie sighed in her sleep. For a moment, she lay completely motionless, silently admired by her former Potions teacher, but then, very slowly, her consciousness came back to her, and with it a feeling that something in the room had changed. 

Her eyelids parted and when she recognised the dark figure opposite her, she instantly sat upright. 

“You’re back…!” Her sleepy face broke into a radiant smile. She pushed a lock of tangled hair out of her eyes and pulled her coat she had used as a blanket a little closer to her. 

“Forgive me, are you cold?” asked Severus, immediately rising to his feet, “The fire has gone out”. 

He sent a couple of wooden blocks towards the middle of the fireplace and ignited them with his wand, “You should have used my bed. It would have been much more comfortable and warmer”. 

“No, never mind. It was only a nap. I have only slept for… how long…” she checked her watch, “oh, about two hours anyway!” She stifled a yawn behind her hand, “Sorry. Any news?”

“Yes, I have a few things to tell you,” he said, sitting down again, “but not now. Are you hungry?”

“I’m not starving but a little food would be nice. Can I use your bathroom for a moment?”

“Of course. Did you try the bath this morning?” 

“Hm… yes. The swimming pool you mean”. 

He grinned.

“You know, I could get used to being a Headmaster at Hogwarts”, she remarked, “You’re not too badly compensated for the things you have to do, are you?”. 

“No, “ he admitted, “The castle takes good care of its inhabitants, and even more so of its staff”. 

“How come it can be so richly decorated? Where does all the money come from? Surely not from our acceptance fees?”

“Rich families have endowed the school for centuries, mainly because they wanted their children to be educated in the best circumstances. And wizards who die childless very often leave their possessions to Hogwarts, out of gratitude for the excellent education they enjoyed here as a child. Hogwarts feels like home for quite a few wizards, you know”. Not in the least himself, he added silently.

“I see… Well, I think it’s very enjoyable, all this luxury,” she smiled, rising to her feet “Anyway, I won’t be long. Fifteen minutes at the maximum”.

 “Take your time,” he told her, eyeing her with an expression she couldn’t quite place, “I will order dinner with the House Elf in half an hour… after they have finished serving the Great Hall. We can take it here together, if you like”. 

“Lovely!” she said.  “I think I’ll have a shower… if yours doesn’t stop pouring hot water after thirty seconds that is, like the one Francis has”

“It never does,” he grinned. 

So the old bugger had still not invested in proper sanitary infrastructure… 

Probably because he hardly needed it for himself…

 

Just like earlier that day, the moment she entered the bedroom, Billie’s eyes were immediately drawn towards the enormously impressive bed that dominated the second half of the Headmaster’s private quarters. 

She had never been in the Queen’s residence, but she couldn’t possibly imagine that this bed should be inferior to Queen Elisabeth’s box. You could easily fit four adults into it and still have them pass a very comfortable night. It wasn’t exactly a four-poster bed. At the head of it, about four meters above the mattress, was a gigantic wizard’s hat from which two heavy damast curtains fell down on either side of the bed, covering half of its length in semi-darkness. 

On either side stood elegant, mahogany bedside-tables, each having an oil lamp and a couple of books on them, ranging from “An Alternative History of Hogwarts: the Secrets the Castle never Revealed” by a funny-looking witch called Messalina Mistletee; over a gigantic book by a Mr William James called “Principles of Psychology”; to a muggle novel by George Elliot with a tiny corner of a bookmark sticking out. 

Billie had not touched any of them, nor had she seriously considered climbing into the bed for her nap, as Severus had suggested. Sharing Snape’s bed, even if he wasn’t joining her, was definitely not the most unattractive thought, but the idea that all the men who were hanging on the wall next door, including Professor Dumbledore, had slept in this bed too gave her a view she didn’t particularly fancy into one of the most intimate aspects of the Headmasters’ private lives, and she was not going to overdo that by climbing into their bed. 

You didn’t sit down on the Queen’s throne to eat your picknick either, did you. 

Apart from the bed, the only other furniture in the room was a compatible set of chaises-longues at the windows and a massive wardrobe, which Billie had been decent enough not to open either.

A thick carpet half-covered the oak floor, and that, together with the heavy damast curtains at the windows, was about all there was to be found in this magnificent place. The room breathed luxury in all its details, and dignity and silence. It was hard to imagine that it could be used for anything so utterly human as sleeping, snoring and love-making, if ever any Headmaster had been involved in that. 

Had they? 

Had any of them ever had a relationship? The mere thought made her feel uncomfortable. It was like trying to imagine how your parents could do more than work, cook and go for an occasional drink.

And Snape… the feeling of discomfort made way for something completely different at the thought of a possible intimate aspect of his life. 

She sighed, turned away from the bed and headed straight for the shower. 

 

The bathroom was at least as splendid as the other rooms. It had indeed an enormous, marble bath in the middle – half a swimming pool really – with a long series of tabs on its side. 

On one wall were two marble wash basins with golden dragons for tabs. Next to those stood a small chest, on which a number of soft, white towels were piled. 

At the foot of the bath was a small wall and behind that hung a huge shower-head, with smaller ones sticking out of the three walls that built the shower. Also here stood a chest with bathtowels and it had all sorts of bottles in different colours on top.

 

When she came out of the shower, deliciously smelling of the delicate perfumes she had added to the water, she suddenly felt a need to dress into something else than  the comfortable, warm, but extremely shapeless clothes she had been wearing for weeks. 

She grabbed in her bag; pushed aside the stiff business suit she had worn in London and took out a simple, elegant black dress which she had taken with her, just in case she would land into a situation that required a more formal dress code. 

The dress was both basic and chique, sleeveless and with a modest boat neck, and it was made of a delicate fabric that perfectly followed the line of her breasts, sides and hips and rippled around her with a soft rustle. It suggested more than it showed, and after she had put it on, she felt quite different already.

She dried and brushed her hair until it shone, drew the wildest locks that were constantly jumping into her eyes away from her face, making sure she still looked playful enough to be herself, and fished a couple of heavy-looking, long earrings out of her bag, which, together with the pumps she had also taken out, completed her elegant look. 

And she was ready. 

 

She found him at his desk, leafing through the latest edition of the Daily Prophet with a serious frown between his eyes. 

He cast a glance backwards when he heard her come in, and when his eyes fell on her appearance, turned his chair completely to face her, but he didn’t compliment her on her appearance. Although he would definitely have meant it from the bottom of his heart, he couldn’t bring himself to saying how absolutely beautiful she looked. He had never learnt how to do so in the first place.

“A lot of rubbish in there, isn’t there?” she remarked with a glance at the paper’s front page on which an appeal was published to report yourself, and especially Muggle families, to the Ministry, allegedly because the Ministry wanted to count the wizarding population, which they did every thirty years or so.

“The Quibbler is more reliable than this these days,” he agreed, his eyes fixed on her face in fascination. The big, dark-blue eyes were now sparkling with the lights of the many candlelights in the room. They were more hypnotic even than in normal daylight.

“You’re writing a book, aren’t you?”

“You have been browsing my desk, Miss Matthews?”

“My eyes accidentally fell on it,” she smiled as she lowered herself on the nearest window sill, “It’s about psychology, am I right?”. 

“The different layers of the mind, rather. And I am not sure it is going to be a book, really. More an overgrown essay”. He couldn’t help marvelling that, despite its distinguished simplicity, the black dress forced him to think of all the delicious details of the body that was hiding underneath it. There was something terribly sensual about her, and yet there was nothing in her behaviour or pose that explicitely triggered this.

What was it about this day that found him suddenly preoccupied with two women, when, as a rule, there was never any room for anyone at all, apart from the one who was always lingering in the back of his mind. 

Well, the preoccupation differed substantially between Bella and Billie of course. As he had already been thinking that evening, Billie was not the person he was going to have brutal, merciless sex with. She was a woman to make love to, and not just bits and pieces, scraps and leftovers of his love for Lily. She deserved nothing less than the whole range… 

… the very thing, admittedly and regretfully, he could not give her. 

And so he forced himself to not think about her in these terms and to just enjoy her company.

“So what makes it different from other works on the subject?” she asked, “There must be loads written on this”.

“I am writing from a Legilimiens perspective. There are not so many people who have this skill to start with, and even fewer who are interested in studying the working of the mind at the same time”. 

“Will you turn us all into Legilimiens?” she smiled, “How much more difficult is it to read the mind than to perform Occlumency?”. 

“It is not a matter of it being difficult. It is a talent, rather, which is finetuned by many hours of training and trying”. 

“So you have it, or you don’t have it. Is a good Occlumens automatically a good Legilimiens?”

“Not necessarily. Everyone can learn Occlumency, to start with, even if not so many people manage to completely master it”. He got to his feet and walked to the table the House Elf had laid while Billie had been in the bathroom. 

“White?” he asked, lifting the wine bottle out of the ice bucket when she nodded and filled two bullet- round crystal glasses. 

“You practised Occlumency with Lejeune, did you not?” he asked as he handed her the glass, “And you were rather successful, you told me”. 

“I don’t know. Thank you” the latter was when she took the glass, “You’re the best person to test it, aren’t you?” She sipped from her wine, and then put her glass down, slipped from the window sill and came to stand right in front of him. 

“Try me,” she said, half teasingly.

“Very well,” he said amused, putting his glass down as well, “Wouldn’t you like to remove your most personal memories first?”. 

“No, not really”, she laughed, “You won’t get at them anyway”. 

“Hm… that is quite a provocative thing to say, Miss Matthews… Are you sure there is nothing you would like to hide from me? … No? … Very well. Are you ready?”

Her eyes were still laughing when she found his, and then she concentrated on her white screen as Severus lifted his wand and muttered <i>Legilimens</i>.Not much happened at first. Staring into his black eyes had a rather hypnotising effect, really, but she didn’t get the feeling that he was trying to invade her mind at all. Until, all of a sudden, images started to flash before her eyes. Fred, the cave with the redcap, the improved Polyjuice Potion that was shimmering in his dungeon, the bedroom at the Burrow… no not that one… she frantically thought about the screen and focused on it and it worked for a little while… but then the Burrow came back and she forced her thoughts away from it again, to the first thing she could think of, which was when she was kissing Snape in her room, just before she left Hogwarts the last time. 

And then she decided he had seen enough. 

She abruptly turned her face away from him and stepped back, her cheeks a little flushed with the experience. 

“Damn! And I thought I had full control over my thoughts!” she cursed, just to hide her embarrasment, “Francis told me I could easily stand up against most Legilimiens”

“I am a little stronger than most Legilimiens, Billie”, he said matter-of-factly, and smiled. “Even if I would not have wanted to miss it, it was not a fair competition, I must confess”. 

“So I’d better have made use of the Pensieve anyway. I should have known, of course!”

“I am not sure about that. I saw rather interesting things.” He took a sip from his glass and lowered himself onto the corner of his desk, “Did you say Francis brought those memories about us back to you, or did you do it yourself?”

“Francis did,” she said, the pink on her cheeks turning a little darker, and then a playful twinkle came into her eyes,  “It was a Christmas present, he said”. 

“Really? And were you pleased with it?”

“A little”. She was showing very little evidence of her Occlumency skills at present.

The black eyes grew slightly bigger, first in wonder and then in alarm, and he got up. 

“Dinner is served, I think” he said, abruptly turning away from her. He did not wish her to see how unsettling he found her at this moment. He had to admit that he felt much more comfortable handling a liable madwoman like Bellatrix Lestrange, with all her unpredictable moods and sick tastes, than this vivacious beauty. At this moment, he was not fully in control of the situation, and a man like Severus Snape found that disturbing… and even more so intriguing…

 

“So what else did you do today, apart from having a bath?” he asked as they were sitting opposite each other at the table, a number of quite richly decorated plates between them. 

She stretched to pick up a thick, leather-bound book that looked extremely old and extremely used, and that had been lying at the far end of the table. 

“Medieval Potion Recipes!” smiled Snape. “You want to be careful with that. You could poison yourself just by looking at a few of those potions”.“I had an inkling I could,” grinned Billie, “Have you seen the one they call … what is it… ah here… Ye Licquit Burning Stacke?”

“That is the one they used to burn witches who could not be affected by the usual combination of stakes and oil. Yes… that is a particularly nasty one. Do not dream of brewing that one in my presence!”

“I won’t,” she sniggered, “I have absolutely no desire to burn you”

“That is not my objection. The smell is absolutely insufferable”. 

“Oh I see!,” she laughed, “Well I don’t see why I should waste time brewing such horrible stuff, really. But the medical chapter is interesting”. 

“Yes, that is very true. You should borrow it sometime and study it. I took quite a few recipes from that chapter which I am still using”. 

“I will… someday”, and with that, the tough reality of the present-day came brutely back to her and all cheerfulness gradually disappeared from her face as she realised that the time when they would have nothing more important to do than exchange books and recipes might never come. 

To hide a little of her discomfort, she picked up a small chicken wing from one of the plates and started to nible on it. Severus noticed the change in her mood, and decided to change the subject. 

“And how was living with Francis Lejeune?”.

“Hm… delicious,” she looked up, “The food I mean. Not Francis, obviously”  The mentioning of Francis’ name had removed the shadow that had fallen on her face, as he had expected it would. And if she continued to send him these dazzling smiles, he was going to throw away his earlier intention to only approach her when he was capable of complete, unconditional love! 

“Anyway, I’ve missed this food”, she continued, “And now I miss him”. 

One eyebrow was raised in mock-wonder, “Is that so?”

“He’s absolutely lovely” she smiled, and this time, Severus felt a stitch of something he didn’t find very enjoyable, “I had the time of my life! Have you ever been there?”

“Yes, I studied with him too. He taught me the same things as you. Years ago”. 

“Did he already have all these animals then? Did he ask you to take care of them too?” 

“He did, as a matter of fact. The chickens and dogs I could live with, but the horses…!”

“Oh I loved them! They’re beautiful! So huge… really impressive!”.“Unless you have to clean out their hooves”.

“I don’t know. It’s a bit like cleaning your fingernails, isn’t it?” and she laughed when she saw his disapproving face. 

Then, as they continued their dinner, Billie gave him an account of all the things that had happened in the last months: the incident with the cleaning lady in the woods; the two policemen; a couple of anecdotes out of her daily life with Francis; the encounter with Terence Higgs and her hasty journey back to England. 

She was an animated storyteller. Severus found himself chuckling a lot, which hadn’t often happened in the last couple of years. 

Then she asked him to tell her about life at Hogwarts under his reign; about Neville’s, Luna’s and Ginny’s attempt to steal the sword. And he told her about the impossible task of preventing all cruelty and injustice the Carrows inflicted on the students; the obvious hatred that radiated from most teachers, especially Minerva McGonnagle; and the daily conversations he held with Dumbledore’s portrait. 

He marvelled at the smoothness with which he confided in Billie. It was so easy to talk to her. Where he had had to constantly weigh his words in all his conversations for so many years, the words came now pouring out of him, revealing all sorts of things that he wouldn’t dream of even breathing to anyone else. Of course, it helped that she was the only one, apart from the late Dumbledore, who really knew what role he was playing, but that wasn’t all there was to it. As he sat listening to how she had managed to brew the anti-polyjuice potion spray, he realised that it was the combination of sheer beauty, her sparkling intelligence, a shared passion for his subject, her delightful sense of humour and, perhaps most of all, the warmth with which she looked at him and talked to him, that made him feel so comfortable in her presence, … and which drew him to her like a fly to a candle. 

He couldn’t help thinking of Lily at some point, but he found the presence of the two women in his mind together disturbing, and he made himself focus on Billie only. 

 

The delicious food and wine had long been consumed when Severus poured them both a glass of mead, which caused the light to fall on his face from a different angle, and it suddenly struck her how the lines around his mouth and eyes looked deeper and darker than she had previously found them.  

“Severus…” she said, suddenly sounding concerned “You look tired”.“I do not feel tired at all,” he said truthfully, “On the contrary, I am highly enjoying our conversation and your company”. 

“Thank you,” she blushed slightly, “and so do I, but still you look horrible”. 

“You have a delicate way of stating the truth, Miss Matthews. How I admire your subtlety”.

“You know what I mean”, she teased him, “You have been awake all last night, and Merlin knows how many hours you slept on average before that. You’ve been looking peaky for some time already”. 

“Oh, really… Well, be that as it may, and, for a short moment, I will <i>not</i> take your remark as an invitation to join me in the adjacent room, there is still the issue of your Prime Minister-uncle and his your-brother- Chief of Staff to be considered”. 

He instantly regretted having said that when he saw the fond look in her eyes being replaced by worry and nervousness. 

He hated having to do this to her, on a night like this, after the Bella experience and with half a bottle of wine and about two glasses of mead in his stomach. But they had to be rational. There was no place for romance in these times.

“You will have to leave first thing tomorrow morning” All frivolity from the last hours had disappeared completely now, “On the evening of the sixteenth  of May, which is in about four months, the attack will take place. They are still thinking how they should organise themselves after the attack and they are waiting for an event on which a number of high officials will be gathered together. The European Top is such a place of course, but even the Dark Lord knows that he has to concentrate on the UK first. Destabilising and ultimately overthrowing the regime is one thing, but controlling a country is quite another, and his resources to make that happen are still limited. 

Rodolphus Lestrange is in the front line; he has been installed in your brother’s department, and believe me, Billie, you are no match to him. Not only is he a notorious sadist, just like his wife, Bellatrix, but he is also a ruthless, immoral maniac and unfortunately a highly skilled wizard, especially in the more violent arts”.

The look in the blue eyes became sadder and sadder. 

“He is planning to bring accomplices in, most probably through the servants’ entrance or cellars, and when that happens, one Auror will definitely not stop them, so you will have to prevent them from entering at all cost”. 

“So what do you suggest I should do?”

“Knowing his style, and the Dark Lord’s strategies, I expect they are first trying to have as many Death Eaters inside as possible, so that they can have a maximum of Ministry officials and staff imperiused before the banquet takes place. Bear in mind that there is a complete army of security guards, advisers, and all sorts of people who are constantly circling around the Ministers and Secretaries, who they have to break through first to get to their targets. A few members of staff may already have been imperiused. Has your brother not reported any yet?”

Billie shook her head. “No, I have explained to him how he can recognise an imperiused person and what he should do when that happens, but I haven’t been in touch with him since”. 

“And how long was that ago?”

“Let me see… today is Friday? On Tuesday”. 

“So Rolph has had about a week of free play. The chances are high that he has made victims already. Have you thought of a way to infiltrate the Ministry without raising suspicion?”

“I could join the staff, of course, but two newcomers in less than a month in an office that normally never changes during a PM’s term raises questions”.

“So you had better take someone’s place… or rather body”. 

“Yes, I have been thinking the same”. 

“You are rather good at brewing the Polyjuice Potion”, he smiled in an effort to cheer her up a bit. 

“What I’ll need is the improved Potion. Otherwise, I’ll have to carry a bucket of it for every workday I want to cover”. 

“I have some, but it is not a large quantity. You will not last much longer than just one or two days”. 

“And the brewing process takes about a month, which should be OK for when the attack is planned to take place,” she reflected. 

“I will give you the ingredients. My own stores are not very complete these days so I will have to find other sources. Slughorn will probably wonder where all his supplies have suddenly disappeared to, but I will find a way to deal with this”. 

Despite her worries, Billie suddenly giggled. “You’re not going to blame a poor student, I hope?”

“I would indeed have done so in former days, but now that I have these two charming deputees, I am afraid I cannot put a student’s health and well-being at stake anymore. Not for a trivial thing like the stealing of potions ingredients” he said dryly. 

“So I will not be able to take someone’s body straight away,” she said, “but I could use it on the day of the attack. Was it a banquet you said they will be organising?”. 

“Yes, and I am indeed sure that this will be the perfect occasion. You see, when he launches his attack, the Dark Lord will want to draw as many Ministry Officials and prominent figures into the PM’ downfall as he possibly can”. 

For a while they sat together in silence, each wrapped up in their own thoughts. 

“Who has placed the Auror there?” Severus suddenly asked. 

“Kingsley Shacklebolt. Or Arthur Weasley. At least I hope the Auror’s there now. He was meant to arrive when I was leaving for Hogwarts”

“Is the Order still meeting?”

“I believe they are, yes. At least, last time I stayed at the Burrow – the Weasley’s home – they were”.

“And you do not know who the Auror is?”

“Erm… I believe he’s called Archie something”. 

“Archie Williamson,” nodded Snape, “He is not the most famous Auror – operates mostly in the background – but I expect he will be disguised. Rodolphus may recognise him. He knows most of the Aurors by sight.”. 

“True… I haven’t thought if that. I wonder how Archie will manage to do that. They don’t have the improved potion, do they, the Aurors?”

“Not at the Ministry of Magic. The recipe is still safe with you and me, but I gave Kingsley Shacklebolt and Alistor Moody a flask when I was still in the Order”. 

“Alistor Moody is dead. He was killed when they brought Harry over to the Burrow. George told me”. 

“I know. I was there”.

She stared at him with huge eyes. 

“You … were <i>there</i>?”.

“Yes”. 

 “But how come you were there? Do they know that you’re on their side?”

“No,“ he said quietly, “I was there with people from the <i>other</i> side”.

“Oh…!” she said, and for a moment, she seemed at a loss for words. Seeing the Dark Mark on his arm, as she had done when he was bathing her the last time, was one thing, but hearing Snape admit that he actually took place in attacks organised by Voldemort and his Death Eaters was another thing. 

Her heart sank when she tried to visualise him, hooded, masked, involved in murder and other crimes.

“Severus…?”

She had meant to ask him many times already but she had never dared to do so. Now, after hearing him admit that he was a Death Eater and with the alcohol in her body, she decided to give it a go. 

“Severus… was it <i>you</i> who…”

But she couldn’t finish her question. Even now it was too cruel for words. 

Severus, however, did not need her to finish it to understand what she was referring to.

“I will not answer that, Billie”, he said curtly.

“Why?”

“I cannot explain it all to you. Already you know far too much than you should know. I dare not think of the consequences if you, after you have left here, should fall into the wrong hands and be forced to make confessions”.

“If I really run that risk then I suppose you will have to remove my memories again”. 

“I may indeed have to do that”. 

“Then please do…” she said silently, looking up into his candlelit face, which, despite the nature of their conversation, did not express any irritation, anger or distrust. 

“But I still don’t understand,” she continued, “Why are you doing all this? Why are you helping me and Harry – seemingly on Professor Dumbledore’s orders – when you are said to have…”

“… killed him?” There was a hard look in the black eyes now and a heavy silence fell. 

“Why indeed…” He muttered after a while. It sounded infinitely bitter.

“I’m sorry,” she said. 

He sat staring into the candle’s flames – seemingly miles away – and Billie suddenly felt an urgent need to be completely honest with him. 

“I shouldn’t have brought it up perhaps. I know that you mean well. Of course I do. I have always known you were on our side. As a teacher, you were biased and said to be rubbing shoulders with former Death Eaters – and yet you helped a muggle born like myself improve an important potion and graduate with high marks. You helped me find Devil’s Snare – saved my life on more than one occasion and not two days later, you were publicly accused of having killed Professor Dumbledore and joined The Dark One – Dumbledore’s greatest enemy and the biggest threat to muggle-borns. I still refuse to believe that, by the way. I’m not sure if they imperiused you, or simply took your place but I know it was not you who did it”. 

“It <i>was</i>…, ” he said softly- coming out of his rêverie. He registered the look of incredulity on her face and straightened. “It was I who did it. And I was <i>not </i>imperiused”. 

“Another explanation…,” stammered Billie. Although she was shaken by his confession she couldn’t stop confronting him with her doubts and theories, “Another explanation was that you had indeed chosen the Dark side, unconditionally, but had developed a particular liking for me and therefore saved me and helped me escape from the Carrows”. 

“Who came up with that theory?” he interrupted her sharply. 

“Fred”. 

“Did you discuss me… <i>us </i>with<i> him</i>?” There was unconcealed fury in his eyes now. 

“I had no…”

“Who else did you inform about my dealings with you?” 

“Noone!” She met his gaze with her eyes wide open. This was not the time for Occlumency. “Not even his brother. Or Emily. Or Peter or Uncle Richard. Even Francis doesn’t know the details”. 

“You will have us both killed!” he snapped. 

“But Fred is one of the key persons in the resistance! His parents are members of the Order and best friends with the Aurors. His shop sells clandestine stuff to support attacks and other subversive actions. If I can’t trust Fred, I can’t trust anyone”. 

“Nobody <i>is</i> to be trusted”. 

“Fred isn’t just anyone. He was my boyfriend and he’s still one of my very best friends. And he is still a hundred percent himself. He knows we get along. For God’s sake, we broke up <i>because </i>of you – well… sort of… We argued a lot about your loyalty. Anyway, he knows I trust you, that I <i>still </i>trust you, and I had to tell him about the attack of the Carrows and what you did for me then. Otherwise he would have locked me up to prevent me from coming here”. 

“And that is when he came up with his theory of me helping you despite my dark preferences?”. 

“Yes”. 

“And how did you convince him of the contrary?”. 

“I couldn’t…” A muscle twisted cynically in the corner of his mouth, “And so I left it at that and pretended I had abandoned my plan of coming here”. 

“… which means that there had been no reason for you to tell him about my role after all”, he said curtly, “And that is exactly my point, Billie. Many times I have explicitely forbidden you to be indiscrete about our conversations and especially my behaviour towards you, and yet you choose to ignore my instructions and blurt it all out. There can <i>never </i>be a reason for you to do so. <i>Never!</i>”

“I am not spreading anything, Professor. I only took my friend into my confidence who I can trust, because he has been forced to go underground himself. And yes, I should not have done it perhaps. But if noone can ever trust anyone nowadays, and if we can’t stick to each other and organise things in secret, how will we ever manage to free our world from this terror? Besides, it’s not fair how everyone is picking on you when I owe my life to you…”

“They have an excellent reason for picking on me, Miss Matthews!” He leaned over to her, boring his eyes deeply into hers. “I have forced them to do that myself! Fairness is not in the least relevant here. I do not need your sympathy nor your help to spread the word about how wrong they all are and how absolutely fantastic I am. Unless it is your ambition to have me destroyed, of course”.

“Of course it isn’t!”

“In that case you have been very stupid to be open about me, even if the risks were small”.

She looked down, suddenly feeling deeply ashamed of herself. 

He was right of course. He made it sound as if she had behaved like some brainless gossip, and if she wanted to be very honest, she had to admit that he was right. 

“I have told you many times before, Billie, that you are too trusting”. 

He sighed, and proceeded in a lot milder tone, “I know that, as a rule, I can count on your discretion – having been forced to do so when we were working on your NEWTS together,” A certain warmth had come back in the black eyes that sought hers. “And of course I understand that it is difficult for you to remain silent when I am wrongly -or perhaps rightfully- being attacked in your presence. But that is because you are emotional. And we cannot afford to be emotional in today’s world. There is no room for pity, or resentment at the various forms of injustice you may encounter. A certain solidarity is indeed necessary amongst the ones who fight the present regime, but it should always be approached from a rational, well-considered perspective; constantly taking into consideration all the possible consequences even the tiniest of actions could have. Fred Weasley’s parents and his eldest brothers know exactly how important this is and completely act upon it. And if Fred is involved in any underground activities himself, I can only hope that he and his brother behave accordingly too. Unfortunately, despite their ingenious inventions and high magical skills, they have never struck me as very responsible, so you must forgive my reserve at your taking them into your confidence”. 

“I understand,” Billie said softly, her eyes still locked with his, “I am very sorry if I put yourself in danger because of my indescretion. I will make sure it does not happen again.”.

“I trust you will”. He smiled and poured them both some more wine, “You are an intelligent young woman. And the Order has involved the Weasley twins in the transportation of Potter to The Burrow last summer. I suppose the boys must have proved something to deserve that”. 

“Yes, I think so… Erm … so you were part of that mission?” asked Billie, gratefully grabbing the occasion he offered to steer the discussion away from her indescretion.

“To save Potter’s neck, yes. And I believe I hit your friend in protecting Lupin”.

“Who? Moody?”

“No, George Weasley”. 

And then it dawned on her what he was referring to. 

“Is that why half his ear is gone?”

“Yes”. 

“So you openly protected Harry and Remus under the very noses of… <i>them </i>as you pretended to be one of them?”.

He nodded.

Billie looked worried now.

“And they didn’t find you out?”

“No”, he simply said.

Her reservations about his dark side as a Death Eater made way for genuine concern that was now openly reflected in her eyes. 

“We are all running risks these days, Billie”, said Severus, “Your situation when you leave here and go back to your brother and uncle will not be any safer than mine… Are you frightened?”

She nodded.

“It is a pity you have not come to see me earlier,” he said, rising to his feet, “I could have prepared you a little better for possible attacks. The time is too short to teach you anything new”. He thought a little. “Do you know how to undo an Imperius Curse?”

“No, I wish I did”, said Billie as she got up from her chair too.

“It is feasible to learn it still. But it would take us all night”. 

“No, we’re definitely not going to do that,” she said firmly, “It’s not going to take us anywhere if we’ll stay up yet another night and both end up being knackered”. 

“Yes, you are right,” He walked over to her side of the table. “I think we had better call it a day. It is late, although I wished we could continue this evening for a few more hours”.

She smiled and looked down. “So do I”. His gentle tone brought back tears in her eyes. She supposed the many emotions of that day and night were to blame for her sudden sensitivity.

He cupped her cheek in his hand, as he had done already several times before. Billie felt her legs go wobbly again. She knew that she had to act rationally after the discussion they had just had and what with all the things she would be faced with in just a couple of hours. And yet, her head came up as if it had a will of its own, and she looked straight into the black eyes in which the flame of one of the candles was dancing. It was so terribly difficult not to bridge the short distance between them and kiss him, when he was standing so close and touching her in such a tender way. It didn’t even cross her mind to hide anything of what she was thinking and feeling now with Occlumency.

Severus, of course, immediately saw and sensed the effect he had on her. For a moment, he felt immensely tempted to surrender to it himself. He needed her as he had never needed anyone else before – her warmth, her friendship, her delightful body, her love even… for there was no denying she was in love with him… 

But reason always got the upper hand with Severus in critical situations, and inwardly cursing himself for it, he took away his hand and stepped back.

“I will take the couch. I think you should take the bed. You need to be well-rested in the morning” he said in a rather business-like tone.

“I can’t do that, Severus,” she protested with a slightly trembling voice, “You’re much more tired than I am. I’ve had a couple of hours of sleep today, remember? And the day before”

He shook his head. “I am free all day tomorrow. I can rest after you have left”. 

He sounded determined, and Billie understood that he was acting for the best, even if it was a rather cool ending of such a wonderful evening.

“How should I travel back to London tomorrow? The train’s probably not driving, is it?”

“No, I will take you through the tunnel and disapparate together with you”. 

“I thought you said you’d go back to sleep after I had left”. 

“I only wish to ascertain that you have safely arrived in London. I shall return to these rooms immediately afterwards”. 

“Thank you”. 

“And I will now escort you to the bedroom,” he said, and when he caught her funny look, he grinned, “I need a couple of pillows and blankets”. 

“Oh I see”, she laughed nervously and then cast an uncertain glance at the couch, “Are you sure you will be comfortable on this? It’s too small for you”. 

“We are wizards, Billie,” he smiled, “I find it unsettling how I still have to remind you of this little fact at times”. 

He pointed his wand at the couch, and it stretched and widened as much as it needed to do to make a comfortable single bed.

“There you are. Satisfied?”

She smiled. 

“Good. Now if the lady would be so kind as to follow me. It has indeed become rather late, and you will have to leave just after sunrise”. 

Billie checked her watch. It was close to midnight. Not too bad, after all. If she dropped off quickly, she would have had enough hours of sleep to be well rested. 

 

After Severus had left the room with his blankets and cushions, she took out her earrings, quickly brushed her teeth in the bathroom; got into her nightshirt and diminuted her dress before she packed it into her bag again. Then she climbed into the enormous bed. 

Wow, that was an experience! 

First of all, the mattress and the cushions immediately adapted themselves to the shape of her body, also when she shifted or turned on her side, back, belly, and back on her side again. She moved up to the middle of the bed, but then realised that she had left her wand on the nightside table, and rolled back to get it. 

She had made a little miscalculation, though. Her outstretched arm landed a little earlier on the table than she had thought it would, and knocked over the pile of books that were lying on it, causing the top one to fall on the ground and topple over. 

She leaned over the side of the bed to grab it. It was lying open, with the front- and backcover up and the pages down. 

She took it, but the bookmark had fallen out of it too, so she stretched her hand a little further to pick it up. 

And then she received a severe shock. 

The bookmark was no bookmark at all. It was a photograph, but a funny one because a part of it was torn off.

What it showed, however, was absolutely not funny at all. It was a red-haired woman, who stood beaming and waving at her.

Billie straightened up, suddenly feeling a little sick.

Who was she? 

She carefully studied the woman’s features but she was sure she had never seen her before. Her hair definitively matched that of the Weasley’s, but that was about the only similarity she could detect with anyone she knew. She strongly doubted this woman should be related to the Weasleys in the first place.

What she also strongly doubted was that she should be related to Severus. And people never kept pictures of someone else in their books when they didn’t have a special bond with them. The woman was clearly not Severus’s mother, and Billie’s female instincts told her that she was probably not his sister ether, so there could only be a romantic reason for her picture to be here. 

He was in love with that woman.

And it made Billie’s insides turn. 

And then, she became aware of something black moving in and out of the picture. It was difficult to see what it was, because it only passed through a little corner of the photograph, close to where it had been torn in two or more pieces.

She needed some time to capture the moving spot, and then, all of a sudden, she received her second shock. 

It was a little boy! A little, black-haired boy!

Severus was black-haired. Was that his son? Did Severus have a son? And was the woman then his wife?

With trembling fingers she lay the book back on the bedside table, and stuck the photograph where she thought it had been before it fell. And then she lay back with wide-open eyes. 

Fool! What an incredibly, immeasurably idiot of a fool she had been to think that there was something growing between them; to not even consider the possibility that a man in his mid-thirties could have a private life after-hours, and fall in love, and marry and get a child, just like any other man would do. And she had been so stupid to not even try to hide her feelings for him! 

She flicked down on her belly and hid her face in the pillows. 

How absolutely embarrassing! What a stupid impression she must have made! He knew that she loved him, and he had probably looked at her with… with what?... amusement? Or worse, pity? 

She moaned into her pillow. 

No wonder he had kept a distance. And stressed the importance of rationality.

Not for the last time did she ask herself who the woman was, and again this unpleasant roaring feeling in her stomach was there.

Oh, why did she have to be so hurt and angry about all this? She loved him, all right, but didn’t that mean that you wanted the best for the person you loved? If he was happy with another woman, shouldn’t that be all that mattered?

Nonsense, she cursed herself, it didn’t work like that at all. She was hurt, and disappointed, and the thing she’d love to do most was rush into the room next door and scratch his eyes out. 

She flicked her wand to extinguish the oil lamps on the bedside table. Peter and Uncle Richard were all that mattered now, she told herself, and from now on, all her attention would be focused on keeping them safe and alive.


	8. Part IV Chapter 8

8

 

At two a.m., she had still not managed to ease her troubled mind and sleep. Apart from the painful knot in the pit of her stomach, snatches of their conversation constantly popped up in her mind – mostly not the most pleasant ones.

She lit her wand, checked her watch and sighed. 

Perhaps she should pour herself a glass of water in the bathroom. The delicious but rather salty food in combination with the alcohol, had left her mouth somewhat dry. Besides, she had nothing better to do anyway.

She threw off the duvet and instantly felt that the temperature had seriously dropped into the room. 

She looked around. 

There was a bathrobe lying on the back of a chair which she summoned to her. A faint whiff caught her nostrils as she pulled it on, a whiff she recognised from the cloak that had covered her in the cave a long while ago… another occasion on which she had thought about Snape in quite different terms than as her professor.

She let another deep sigh and rather listlessly started to make her way to the bathroom. 

But just as she passed the door to the sitting room, she was stopped by a very strange noise. 

What was that…?

She listened intently. The sound was very low now, but all of a sudden, a yell caught her ears.

She instinctively extinguished the oil lamp on the bedside table and lit a weak light at the end of her wand. Then, very cautiously and with a heart beating like mad, she pushed down the door handle. 

She heard a murmur again, or rather a low moaning, and without further hesitation, she opened the door and slipped into the dark room. 

And then she realised that the only disturbance there was in the room was Severus having a nightmare. 

He was lying on his side, with his back towards her, the blankets half slipped off and his shoulders strangely shaking. He was clearly in distress.

She hurried over to him, just as he was letting out a strange wail, and all frustration and anger from the last hours instantly disappeared as she sank down on the side of the couch and slipped her arms around him. 

“Sssssssssssst…” 

But the dream continued. She buried her face in the hollow between his shoulder and neck, and tightened her grip around his waist, but as he kept on twisting and moaning she started to whisper to him and shush him as if he were a child. Very gradually, he grew quieter; the moaning was replaced by a series of incomprehensibe words he muttered and then, all of a sudden, he jerked his shoulder away from Billie and awoke with a start.

“It’s all right, Severus. It’s only me”.

He turned over on his back and stared at her in confusion.

“Billie…!” he muttered incredulously. 

His breathing came in quick gasps, and it took a while before it slowed down to its normal rhythm. Small drops of sweat were playing on his brow and upper lip. The Dark Mark flashed ominously when he lifted his arm to wipe them away. She wondered what it was that he had been dreaming. 

Then his fingers stretched towards her and he grabbed her hand  “Forgive me. I must have had a bad dream. Did I wake you up?”. 

She shook her head.

He lay staring at her for a while, his fingers closed around her hand, and his eyes drinking in the details of the pretty face he knew so reassuringly well. 

“Forgive me,” he said again.

She found his staring unsettling. Now that the shock of the event had passed, the memory of the woman and child on the picture came back into her mind, and she felt uncomfortable sitting here. 

She gently, but firmly, pulled her hand from underneath his and got to her feet.

“Do you often have these dreams, Severus?” she asked.

“I have them … occasionally”. 

In other words… often. 

Despite her earlier reservation she sat down on the side of the couch again, facing him this time. 

“This whole business is getting to you, isn’t it? “ she said as she stretched her hand and tenderly let her fingers run over his hollow cheek. “Shouldn’t you stop it? This is not good for you”. 

“My personal interest is of no importance here, Billie”. He caught her fingers in his and sent her a cynical smile. “There is too much at stake for too many people”.

He pressed a kiss on the palm of her hand and released it.

“I think you should go back to sleep now…” he said, “Before I keep you here altogether”.

Her heart made a jump and her legs grew weak like jelly again. For a split second, she felt an urgent need to lean over to him and kiss him, and join him on the couch like he was insinuating, but then the memory of the photograph forced itself to the front of her mind and she stood up. 

If she had learnt anything in the last hours, it was that she was never going to show him anything of the effect he had on her again. From now on, she was going to lick her wounds alone and in silence.

For a moment, nothing more happened than that his eyes kept hers captured. Billie thought of the screen, and the screen and the screen only. And, for the very first time in all the years he had known her, Severus did not manage to infiltrate her mind. 

And that was strange. 

What did she have to hide that he didn’t know already? She had never hidden her thoughts from him before.

A puzzled frown appeared between his eyebrows as she, rather coolly, wished him goodnight. 

“Goodnight, Billie,” he simply said, “Thank you”.

“You’re welcome”. She turned away from him. It was high time she escaped to her bed, or rather his bed, and found some comfort in sleep.

 

“Billie… Billie…! Wake up”

The softly whispered words were accompanied by a gentle shake. 

Billie opened her eyes with difficulty, and with her mind still comfortably slumbering in semi-consciousness, automatically smiled when she met the black eyes that were looking down on her from the side of the bed. 

He was fully dressed and his hair was wet. He had probably been in the shower already. And he looked extremely good….

But then the shocking revelations of the evening before came back into her sleepy mind and the smile instantly froze on her face. 

She scrambled up into a sitting position. 

“What time is it? “ she asked.

“A few minutes past six”. 

“Oh, I’ll have to hurry then”. 

“No, there is still plenty of time for you to dress and have breakfast before sunrise, but we had better be out of the castle before the first students and teachers awake”. 

“I have been thinking about that, Severus,” she said, throwing her arms around her legs under the duvet,… and about a lot more, she added silently, “I don’t think it’s a good idea that you should join me. I know where the tunnel is, and I can easily find back the clearing too. If anyone saw you enter, or come out of the passage, you’d be in trouble”. 

“Nobody knows that this tunnel exists”. 

“They may very quickly find out when they see you coming out of it”. 

He sat watching her a little while. She was right perhaps. And terribly attractive too, with the tangled stresses falling into her eyes and with her cheeks still a little rosy from her sleep. 

She wasn’t making it very easy for him to keep his wits together.

“Very well…” he said, coming to his feet, “If you are sure you will find the place to apparate. But do not take the tunnel in bird form. There are big owls and bats living inside it”. 

“OK”. She cast her eyes down to the sheets. Last night, when she had just discovered the photograph, she had been able to fairly rationally think about him, even be angry with him… and with herself, of course, but now that he was so close, and especially after the nightmare he had had, she only felt a painful lump in her throat.

“I don’t need much time to get dressed. I’ll be with you in a minute”. 

“Very well”. He cast her a curious look, “I… erm… apologise for what happened during the night. I did not mean to wake you up”. 

“Of course you didn’t, Severus,” . She met his gaze. “People don’t exactly ask for a nightmare to come, do they? Not even specialists of the mind like yourself”.

He chuckled. “No, I do not think we do. Have you been able to catch some sleep afterwards?”

“Yes…”.

“Good, … well I will order breakfast then”. But when he was at the door, he turned towards her again, “I have put the ingredients for the improved Polyjuice Potion on the table. Do not forget to pack them”. 

“Thank you. I won’t”.

 

“You are not eating, Billie,” he remarked, watching her from over the rim of his coffee cup.

“Sorry, I’m not very hungry…” 

“You are quiet. Are you nervous?”

“A little…” she admitted. In fact, she was more emotional than nervous.

“Hm… “ he put down his cup and shoved his plate aside. He hadn’t touched any food either, “I wished I could tell you that all is going to be all right, Billie, but I cannot do that”. 

“I know,” she said, casting her eyes down to the coffee she was stirring. “I suppose we’ll just have to wait and see what happens and hope for the best…. I’m more worried about Peter or Uncle Richard himself, for the moment. What if I find them imperiused already?”

“Well then the Auror will have to undo the curse, but I do not believe this has happened already, not on this high level. So my suggestion would be to stay close to your brother in the next days, to prevent Lestrange from casting the curse. Or at least to make sure that you can block it when it happens”. He looked into her eyes but her mind was still as closed as it had been all morning. “I wished we could keep each other informed. I will probably learn more about their plans in the next hours or days, and you have no idea what you will find upon your return. But I see no safe way for you to contact me or for me to give you advice”. 

“No…” she put down her cup, “We’ll have to do this on our own. Anyway, we know a little bit about their plans now, at least. My trip to you hasn’t been a complete waste of time”. 

“Of course it hasn’t been,” he frowned, “I thought you rather enjoyed our evening. And our trip to the woods”.

She smiled rather cynically. “It’s time to leave I think. I’ll fetch my bag”. 

He rose together with her, really puzzled now. 

“Are you sure you do not wish me to accompany you?” he asked. 

She shook her head.

How he hated this sudden resigned attitude of hers. It was so unlike her; so completely opposed to the way she had been last night. He wanted to grab her by the shoulders and shake her awake a little bit, or do more pleasant things to bring back some life into her, but before he could move a step closer, she had turned away and was heading for the bedroom. 

She was back in a couple of minutes, dressed in her heavy wintercoat, scarf and gloves, with the bag dangling from her shoulder, and visibly nervous.He led the way to his office, where most Headmasters were still snoring in their portraits. Only Dumbledore looked up when they entered.

“I’m off then,” she said quietly, when they had reached the door.

She was deliberately avoiding his eye as she took a step towards him to shake his hand. “Thank you for everything”.

“Not so quickly, Billie…” 

He really had enough if this! He ignored the hand she had stretched out towards him and grabbed her by the arms, 

“What on earth is the matter with you?” He forced her to look into his eyes, but apart from a certain sadness, there was still absolutely nothing he could see in them. “I fully understand your disquiet at the things that are about to happen, Billie, but this goes beyond this uncertainty, am I right?”

She bit her lips in a desperate effort to push back the tears that were threatening to flow, and the lump that had been in her throat ever since she had woken up prevented her from speaking too.

Severus’s arms closed around her, but before he could pull her close, she had slipped out of them and stepped back. 

“I must go, Severus. I’m sorry”.

“No, you will do nothing of the kind! Not until you have told me what is wrong. It is me, is it not? What have I done to find you back in this temper? Did I say anything in my sleep that upset you?”

“No, not at all!” She was genuinly shocked that he should take the blame for her own stupidity. “You have done nothing at all! I’m just … scared, and… well, it doesn’t matter… ” She looked down at the buttons of his front robes “I will be all right”. 

She felt his arms around her again, and this time, she didn’t push him away. But she didn’t look up either, not even when she felt his lips on her brow.

For a moment, he just held her, but she was so impassive in his arms that he quickly gave up. It was no use trying to break through the wall she had suddenly erected around her. She wanted to keep a distance, probably for some very good if, for him, completely incomprehensible reason, and he could do nothing else than to accept it. After all, he couldn’t afford to upset her and, consequently, make her less focused on the danger she would soon be facing. 

With an unfathomable look in his black eyes he released her. 

“Would you like me to remove your memories of the last days?”

For the sake of security, and even more so her inner peace, that would probably be for the best. 

Only… she couldn’t… not again. 

To his immense relief he saw the hesitation displayed in her eyes and understood where it came from, and pulled her back into his arms for a long kiss.

“Be careful, Billie”, he whispered after a while. 

“I will,” she said, barely audible. 

But she was still in his arms and let her head rest against his shoulder. This could well be the very last time that she held him – or even saw him – and she wanted to postpone the moment of their parting for as long as it was still possible. 

But after a few moments she forced herself to release him anyway. 

Without another word she turned away from him and left.

 

For several long minutes, Severus stood rooted at the same place, staring at the spot from where she had disappeared.

He was glad a bit of the old Billie had come back in the end, that the terrible wall she had built around her since last night did not mean that she had fallen out of love – if such a thing would be possible at all. 

But what had happened during the night that should have caused such a U-turn in her attitude? It was definitely no fear. She had been afraid in his presence before, and she had very much sought his closeness then, which had been completely different from her reserve now. 

And she wasn’t playing hard to get either. A girl like Billie didn’t lower herself to such immature strategies. 

But then what was it? 

He wondered if he had hurt her when they had quarrelled over her indescretion on the previous evening, but he dismissed that idea immediately; first of all because that had been cleared out before they went to sleep, and because her attitude had not been one of hurt pride.

He deeply regretted the way they had parted. He had wanted to give her something more still… some more training, a few spells she didn’t know of… anything that would have armed her better for whatever it was that was awaiting her. 

But she had been so eager to leave…. 

He sighed. He wasn’t going to find any answers today. Perhaps, if ever they met again, she would tell him what her distress had been about, but now they both had more pressing matters on their minds. As he had concluded on the evening before: there was no room for emotions these days, and even less so for romantic complications. 

He pretended not to notice Dumbledore’s curious face when he walked passed him on his way back to his private chambers. 

There, he grabbed a piece of toast from the untouched breakfast table and started to chew on it with absolutely no appetite at all. 

He poured himself another cup of coffee and took it with him to his bedroom. He was tired and since he would most probably pass another night without sleep at the Malfoy Manor tonight, he had better take some rest now. Furthermore, the night before, after his nightmare, when Billie had gone back to his room, he had not been able to drop off anymore. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t felt it before, because he <i>had, … </i>

But this time, his physical longing for her had become so apparent and so painful that it had deprived him of all sleep – even after a few hours of Bellatrix Lestrange. 

 

He took off most of his clothes; picked up the George Elliot novel he had been reading and his cup of coffee and shuffled to the middle of the bed. 

He closed his eyes for a few moments when his nostrils caught the whiff of her perfume. Despite all his noble principles, he deeply regretted not having been in a position to yield to yesterday’s temptation and having spent a no doubt unforgettable night with her in here. At least he would have had a memory to cherish and take with him to all the unpleasant things Voldemort and his Death Eaters still had planned for him.

He emptied his cup; sent it through the room with the use of his wand, so that it softly landed on the nighttable and opened his book.

As soon as he had taken in the first lines of the page the bookmark had pointed out to him, he frowned. 

He had read this already.

He flicked through the book and came upon a page that was slightly creased. He looked a little closer. 

It was indeed the page where he had stopped reading the last time. The book had probably fallen to the ground. He now recalled having heard a soft thud on the previous evening, just after they had gone to bed.

He lay the bookmark next to him and was just about to start reading again when he suddenly froze…

The terrible truth had dawned on him.

He stared at Lily’s picture in horror. 

She had to have seen this, of course, and probably seen Harry Potter fly in and out of the photograph too. No wonder she had been upset! 

He didn’t suppose she had recognised Lily or her son. Nobody knew about his infatuation with Potter’s mother, but that didn’t change anything to the shock she must have received at hitting upon this.

The one good thing was that, when it came to Billie, he didn’t have to fear for his security: if she had recognised Lily, she would never blurt the truth out to anyone else, not after the conversation they had had on the evening before. She was clever enough to know how much she would put him in danger if she did. 

What he did fear, however, was that he had hurt her, a sad consequence of which he clearly had seen proof today. Now that he could place her unusual reserve of that morning, he realised how deeply he regretted not having been able to prevent this. Lily had always been the One. The only One. But now he wasn’t so sure about the latter anymore. 

Poor girl. Poor dear, sweet, beautiful Billie… 

He pushed the book with its picture aside, turned himself onto his stomach and deeply inhaled the perfume that was still hanging in the soft pillows. He would have to push all these thoughts about her far away from his mind the moment he walked out of these rooms, … 

But that moment hadn’t come yet. 

And he was going to postpone it as long as he could.

 

He remained in the same position for a long time, until he finally dropped off and awoke several hours later, reposed but feeling more lonely than he had done in years.

He sighed, got up, dressed with very little enthusiasm and with leaden legs left his room, through the Headmaster’s office and the tunnel, straight through the woods, until he arrived at the clearing from where he disapparated and, after a few minutes, passed through the gates of the Malfoy Manor.


	9. Part IV Chapter 9

9

 

In less than half an hour after she had left Hogwarts, Billie stood at her brother’s front door. She had no idea what she was going to find there, and that is why she decided to transform into a bird first to see what was happening. 

Peter was in the back yard, scrubbing the ten tiles that built his terrace, apparently in a very sunny, spring-time mood. It was indeed a beautiful day. After the cold and snow in Scotland, Billie welcomed the warmer temperatures and the blue sky of London with open arms, even if that did nothing to remove the chill in her heart. 

Was it Peter himself? She couldn’t imagine how an imperiused person should make the effort of cleaning his terrace, and even less so a person who had been replaced by someone else by means of the Polyjuice Potion, so she decided this would probably mean he was OK, and transformed. 

 

“Hello Peter”. 

She startled him with her sudden appearance, but the smile that instantly broke on his face reassured her that, whatever had happened in the last days, the man in front of her was still very much her brother. 

“William!” he called out happily. The fact that he used the pet name from their adolescence was a straightforward proof of his authenticity, in case she still had had some doubts.

He took her in a hug that warmed her to the tips of her toes and made her forget for just one second that the world had gone mad and that the man she loved with all her heart was deeply in love with another woman and, on top of that, happened to be a father too. 

“God it’s good to see you!” she said against his shoulder. 

“I haven’t been to Mars, you know,” he laughed, “You’ve hardly left”. 

“And still, loads of things have happened…” she said, and stepped away from his embrace. 

“Have you been to Hogwarts?”

“Erm… no,” telling her brother a straightforward lie felt strange. But then again, these were strange times and Severus’s safety had a higher priority than the openness of her relationship with her brother. “No, I have had to look for an alternative source. Professor Snape was… well, I don’t know what happened to him but it seems as if I was wrong about him all along”.

She sounded bitter, which had of course more to do with the discovery of the photograph than Snape’s alleged Dark side, and the fact that she looked rather sad made what she said very credible.

“Oh, “ said Peter, “And what made you conclude that?”

“Long story, and yes, I’m heartbroken, so please let’s move on to the more important news over a pot of tea, shall we?”

“Excellent! I was going to suggest the same thing exactly. Mind you, we’re not alone here”.

“Who else is here?” asked BIllie, slightly alarmed.

“Someone you know, I believe. Look!”

He pointed at the backdoor where the tall and dark figure of none other than Kingsley Shackelbolt appeared. 

“Kingsley!” Billie exclaimed more than a little delighted, as she rushed to him to shake his hand.

“Hello, Billie,” smiled Kingsley, “It’s good to see you again after your débâcle at the Ministry of Magic, although I wished we could meet in more pleasant circumstances”

And then, to his utmost surprise, a cloud of greenish vapour suddenly landed on his face as Billie gave a squeeze into the small rubber pump of her anti-polyjuice potion-bottle. He instantly drew his wand, and the next moment, furiously brushed the small drops away with his other hand.

“It’s all right, Kingsley” Billie quickly assured him, “It won’t hurt you”. 

“What’sthat all about!” shouted the Auror, frantically rubbing the somewhat greasy substance from his nose, “Do you think I’m a mosquito or something?”

“No, “ replied Billie calmly, “I think… or rather <i>thought</i> that you could be someone else pretending to be Kingsley Shacklebolt”. 

“And so you spray them with some pesticide?”

“No,” laughed Billie, “with a spray that neutralises a polyjuice potion in seconds”.

He took a moment to take in what she was saying and then the Auror’s angry face broke into a wide grin. 

“You’ve done it!” he exclaimed, “You’ve actually done it!”

“Yep”. 

“Well done! Really well done!” he gave her a slap on the shoulder, beaming with delight. “You really are amazing at potions, aren’t you?”

She smiled, but instead of commenting on it, she suggested to go inside and have a cup of tea. 

 

When they were sitting at the round table, sipping from their steaming mugs, Kingsley carefully felt his nose. 

“How does it feel now?” Billie asked.

“It’s gone! You could have made it a lot less greasy, though. It felt like olive oil!”. 

“The grease is an improvement, actually”, grinned Billie, “When I first used it this summer, it was so sticky that it immediately attracted all the wasps and flies in the neighbourhood. Not a nice side-effect, especially since it took ages to remove it again”. Francis had been covered in tens of insects in seconds and by the time Billie had managed to remove the spray, his face was bitten and stung all over the place.

“Well at least that’s an improvement then. A piece of advice, though…”

“Yes?”

“You may want to apply it in a more discrete way next time. Not sure a Death Eater in disguise will greatly appreciate what you’re doing. Do you really have to spray it on people’s faces?”

“No, it works on the hair too. Anything that is uncovered”. 

“Good. Well, that’s a useful thing. Any chance I can have it for the Aurors?”

“You can buy it after you have pre-ordered it”. 

“What’s that?” came Peter’s slightly scandalised voice, “My sister gone commercial?”

“Your sister unemployed and looking for a living, rather” she grinned. “But if you can deliver the Devil’s snare, Kingsley, and perhaps even all the other ingredients, I could brew it for a galleon the flask”.

“And how much time does it take to have it finished?”

“Well, that’s not too bad. Mixing takes two days, I think, and the brewing process a couple of days more”. 

“Good. And whilst you were at it, didn’t you manage to speed up the brewing of the real Polyjuice Potion?”

She shook her head. “No, I’m sorry. We have improved it, though, so that it lasts longer, but we couldn’t simplify the process”.

“We… was Snape involved in that?”

“Yes, of course,” she said calmly, “I worked on it for my NEWTS, didn’t I. Besides, hasn’t he given you any of the improved potion? I thought he said he did”. 

“Yes, but that’s long gone, of course”. 

“So how do you disguise Archie now?”

“I don’t”. 

“<i>You don’t? </i>“ Billie nearly dropped her mug, “Do you mean Archie's working in Downing Street 10 as himself?”. 

“Do you know him?”

Billie shook her head. 

“Nor does anyone else, so I suppose that's as good as a cover for him. You will meet him in a minute… oh!... I believe he is here already”. 

And sure enough, a tall, slim man in a neat suit opened the gate to Peter’s garden and stopped at the plastic garden gnome that was standing in the middle of a now empty flowerbed. 

“He’s identifying himself,” explained Kingsley, “I’ve just put an intruder-stopper on the gnome’s hat. Look. He’s squeezing the little bell on top”. 

“And how does the gnome’s hat know that he’s not an intruder in disguise?”

“It identifies fingerprints. Not that it will stop any imposters in polyjuice potion-disguise, of course, but it is a start”. 

Meanwhile, the Auror had reached the backdoor and Kingsley got up to let him in… or rather to grab him by the throat and push his wand more or less into his nose.

“What was I reading when you came to see me last Thursday?”

“<i>Witches gossip</i>” answered their visitor, “And do you know why?”

“Because it contained an article on all the places Harry Potter was allegedly spotted in the last months”.

“All of them fake,” agreed the man, “Except for the one at the Ministry”.

Kingsley released his grip on his guest’s throat and stepped back.“Good to see you, Archie,” he said as he pocketed his wand, “I trust you were not followed here?”

“No, I don’t think so. This concealment charm works rather well, and the street was deserted anyway”. 

“Excellent. Come and meet Billie, Archie. You two haven’t met yet I believe”.

Archie had to be in his early forties, Billie thought as she shook hands with him. He had mousy, extremely straight but neatly cropped hair that was oddly separated in the middle; and a somewhat old-fashioned pair of silver-rimmed glasses on his nose. A short goatee and moustache and his grey business suit and pink shirt and tie were slightly out-of-fashion but not at all out of place in a muggle business environment. He looked perfect for the job.

When they were all seated and sipping coffee, Archie gave them an account of recent events at the PM’s office. Not that there was a lot to tell. The man Archie referred to as Degalus but who, in reality, Billie knew to be Rodolphus,seemed to keep a low profile, but Archie had seen him browsing through files that had nothing to do with his tasks as an administrative clerk: the HR register; a ground plan one of the architects had drawn when the previous PM had ordered a new veranda; the security database. When it came to the latter, however, he had not been successful: since all administration was now done by computer, the security files Lestrange had laid his hands on dated back to the late 1980s, which was before huge renovation works had been carried out, during which special attention had been paid to the securing of the residence against any form of intruders.

“How come he has the opportunity to browse these files?” asked Billie, “Shouldn’t he constantly be monitored?”

“I don’t know,” shrugged Archie, “Probably. But we still don’t know for sure he’s a Death Eater, do we”.

“Oh yes, we do,” said Billie, “It’s Rodulphus Lestrange!”

“Lestrange?” he exclaimed incredulously and with a jerk of his head turned to Kingsley, “Did you know that?”

Kingsley shook his head, seemingly as astonished as Archie.

“Who’s Rodolphus Lestrange?” asked Peter. 

“One of the most notorious Death Eaters You-Know-Who has in store”, said Archie.

“How do you know it’s Rodolphus who’s joined the staff?” Kingsley asked Billie. 

“I found out,” she said evasively, “And there’s no doubt about his identity. How come you didn’t recognise him? Does he use Polyjuice Potion?”

“No, I don’t think so”, said Archie, “Now that you mention him, I can see through his disguise, but I would definitely not have recognised him spontaneously. I’ve never known him personally or anything. I’ve only seen his picture in the paper. Besides, a wizard already looksquite different in Muggle clothes, but he’s also using glasses, false eyebrows and he has dyed his hair red”. 

“But he probably knows who you are”. 

“Yes, Lestrange should know who I am”, he admitted, “No wonder he has been lying low since I joined the staff”. 

“That’s true,” said Peter, “This week, he’s sat in his corner, hardly moving away from it, and he’s dutifully arrived and left at the time he was supposed to. Didn’t even try to sneak into mine or Uncle Richard’s office like he did a couple of times before”. 

“He’s planning to bring more people in, probably to be able to imperius the staff. And he’s preparing an attack”, said Billie. 

“How do you know all this?” asked Kingsley, “Have you infiltrated in the Death Eaters’ circle?”

“Sort of. Anyway, are you sure he hasn’t imperiused anybody yet?”.

“Nobody is behaving strangely, but now that we know who he is we can’t take any risks,” said Archie, “I’ll counter-curse them all first thing on Monday morning”.

“We’ll have to make sure he’s never alone with any of the staff,” said Peter, “We’ve had him followed on his way to the office and back home, though”. 

“Home? All the way to wherever it is that he lives?”

“No,” corrected Archie, “He always comes off the train at Charing Cross. We follow him from there, just to make sure that he doesn’t try to approach any of the staff before or after work”. 

“It’s a little strange that he should behave so exemplary, don’t you think?” asked Billie, “Does he suspect you’re following him?”

“He might. But he also knows that I’m there, of course,” said Archie, “And that I’m keeping an eye on him”. 

“Yes, that’s correct,” said Peter, “He seems a little at a loss now that Archie joined us”. 

“And he’s probably aiming at a much more ambitious plan than the imperiusing of lower Ministry staff”, added Kingsley, “Did you say he’s planning an attack?”. 

“Yes, S… I saw a note on his desk. Something about a banquet on the 16th of May. Is that the next big event you have?” 

“Let me see…” said Peter, “There’s the European top in March, of course, but the place will be swarmed with security, so I don’t suppose that would be the best timing for an attack. The same applies to the visits of the German Chancellor and the Indian PM. No chance of breaking through that security”. 

“No, but they may look upon it as a test case,” said Kingsley, “a perfect occasion to understand a little more about how security is organised”. 

“And that could be the reason why Lestrange is trying to bring other Death Eaters in”, added Billie, “More eyes to learn all there is to learn and that they can use for the real attack they’re planning. I don’t suppose many wizards know about cameras or metal detectors… oh, the latter’s not really relevant is it? We don’t need any guns or bombs of course”

“Why?” asked Peter.

“We’ve got wands” laughed Billie.

“Of course… silly of me, “ said Peter, “Anyway, on the sixteenth…I wonder what we have planned then… Could that be the banquet for the millenium works? Or is that on the 12th?” 

“How did you find out about that day?” asked Kingsley, “Was it written in his notes? Have you been to his house?”. 

“No, not really…”

“Or in the office? Have you been to our office?” Kingsley pressed.

“No, look… I can’t tell you how I found out. You have to trust me on this”.

For a moment, there was a silence during which Kingsley and Archie sat looking at her with unconcealed suspicion in their eyes.

“You have to trust me, Kingsley,” she stressed, “You can use the anti-polyjuice potion on me, if you like. Or a counter-imperius jinx”. 

“Who says that the potion is a real one?” asked Kingsley, “It could be simple olive oil”. 

“Well, it isn’t”, said Billie, a little impatiently, “It’s got devil’s snare in it, and unicorn horn which is a well-known neutraliser of bicorn powder, and the leeches have been replaced by dried drosophila, the anti-effect of which Snape had discovered when he was brewing an alternative shrinking solution. I can give you the recipe in detail, you know, but you’ll need about four days to brew it”. 

“All right, all right” said Kingsley, “I believe you”. 

“What’s your nickname for me?” asked Peter, now also a little suspicious. 

“It’s a little late to ask me that question, isn’t it, Eugene?”, she laughed, “Don’t worry. It’s me all right. Shall I tell Kingsley about your disaster when you were taking Sandrine out the first time”. 

“No! You won’t! Thank you!”

“Good. And I’m not imperiused either. The people I have met are as dark as the three of us”. 

“But why don’t you give us their names?” asked Archie. 

“I can’t. They are not officially known to be on our side”. 

“You mean they are spies?” asked Peter.

Billie nodded. 

“That’s impossible, “said Kingsley, “I’m supposed to know them all, and the only spy we’ve ever had is Snape, and our belief in his loyalty was probably the biggest blunder ever made in the wizarding world”. 

“They may prefer not to make themselves known to you,” said Billie, “for their own safety. They may fight their own war against the Dark One, for reasons that only concern themselves”. 

Kingsley nodded. 

“Anyway, back to the Ministry,” said Billie firmly, “So Rodolphus knows he’s being watched; he has managed to find out about the most important upcoming events and is probably going to use the European top as a test case and the banquet as the occasion for the attack. Is there anything else we know?”

“Yes, you said he was going to bring in Death Eaters”. 

“True, most probably through the servants entrance or via St James’s Park”. 

“So we’ll have to protect those”, said Peter. 

“Yes, have you cast an anti-apparition spell on Number Ten?” Billie asked Archie. 

“Of course, together with a long series of other protective spells,” he replied, “The only way for a wizard to enter the building is the muggle way, through one of the doors. Even the windows have been sealed”. 

“And protected with an alarm,” said Peter. “Which, I suppose, we will have to apply to the doors as well”. 

“Except for the entrance door,” said Kingsley, “That would be too conspicuous, and overdoing it too, because the door is constantly guarded by policemen and other security guards”. 

“All right, so we have the entrances closed, the place protected against magical intruders… the only risk we still run is of Lestrange trying to imperius one of our staff. Or more of them”, said Billie. 

“Yes, and I suppose we can prevent that by constantly having an eye on him”, said Kingsley

“That’s impossible”, said Peter, “I can’t watch him. I’m in my office most of the time, and you, Archie, can’t follow him like a dog without raising suspicion either”. 

“He knows I’m suspicious,” said Archie, “so he will grab every occasion of me being out of his eye-sight to try something. During my visits to the toilet for instance”. 

“Then I will have to take over,” said Billie, “Is there any person I can replace? I don’t have any Polyjuice Potion I can use, mind”

“The word keeps popping up. What’s a Polyjuice Potion?” asked Peter

“A drink that turns you into someone else”, Billie explained patiently, “It takes more than a month to brew it, and we can’t wait that long, can we”? 

“Then we’ll have to change you the muggle way,” said Kingsley, “I don’t suppose Lestrange has paid much attention to the coffee lady. The snob he is, he wouldn’t lower himself to that level”. 

“What does the coffee lady look like?” asked Billie

“She’s about your build, but dark-haired. A bit southern. She has a Spanish or Italian accent”. 

“I see…” said Billie, “Well it shouldn’t be too difficult to imitate that, should it? “

“No, I don’t think so, “ said Peter, “You’re about the same height. We can dye your hair, which is a shame, really, but the end justifies the means. And you will have to buy black contact lenses”. 

“Excellent,” said Billie, “I’ve always wanted a pair of those!”

“Really?” asked Kingsley.

“No,” she laughed, “But it’s a small sacrifice all in all, isn’t it?”

“And good luck to the hairdresser who has to dye this mass of hair”, said Archie admiringly.

“Well, you’d better go out and look for one now”, said Peter, “They may be quite booked on a Saturday. Remember that you have to have turned into a pure-bred Spanish fury by Monday”. 

 

So that is how Billie spent the rest of the day: stuck in an Afro-European hairdresser’s seat with loads of chemicals on her head, after she had had to endure loud protests from the local staff about the shame it was to have such lovely, blonde hair dyed black, but she sounded quite convincing when she said she had lost a bet, and that she was also curious to see how a different look would suit her, which wasn’t too far away from the truth in any case. 

Besides, in view of what they were going to be faced with, the loss of a bit of blonde hair was the least of her worries. 

 

By Monday, she was completely prepared and trained for the task she had set herself. Manuela, the lady who usually took care of the refreshments for the PM, his nearest staff and his visitors, had been sent to an unexpected holiday with her family in Andalucia, which had made her so happy that she had burst into tears, leaving a somewhat bewildered Peter clumsily patting her back. 

It didn’t take a lot of effort for Billie to look more or less like Manuela. The only thing that troubled her was that her disguise would probably be more than sufficient for Lestrange, but the rest of the staff was definitely going to be a bigger problem: some of them had known Manuela for several years and even the use of the Polyjuice potion would not have deceived the ones who had been closest to her. 

Fortunately, Peter told her that the coffee girl had always kept a distance with the rest of the staff; she had always looked at them with some conceit, since she was the one personally serving the PM . But just to be on the safe side, Kingsley decided to use a charm only he and a couple of Aurors knew about: it slightly confused everyone who turned their attention to a particular person. That would mean that, if anyone looked at Billie, they would  hardly be able to clearly distinguish her features and, at the same time, lose all interest of communicating with her, except if strictly necessary. The charm wasn’t a hundred percent fool-proof, but it would definitely do for Billie’s purpose. 

 

She spent the rest of the weekend locked up in a room practising the anti-imperius charm, an extremely complicated spell that she would probably never master completely, especially since she hardly had a chance to practise on a real victim: Peter was the only available test person, of course, but he spent a lot of time at his desk studying all the organisational details for the upcoming events, especially the banquet, for which he tried to think of all possible scenarios the Death Eaters could have planned and how he could prevent them from putting them into practice.

A skilfully disguised Uncle Richard joined them for dinner on Saturday evening, deeply shocked at the metamorphosis his niece had undergone that afternoon, but at the same time touched by to what length the two of them and the Aurors were going to protect his own safety.

 

By Monday morning, Billie was so well-trained she felt like an athlete who had been preparing for the Olympic Games, with the only difference that the Games were a little less lethal than what Lestrange was up to at the Ministry, and that, in turn, made her deadly-nervous.

When she took the Underground near the little flat to which Peter had sent her on the evening before, she nearly physically felt how her senses had sharpened over the past days. She was very much aware of every person entering and leaving the train. As the tube took her through London, she sat scrutinising every detail in the passengers’ appearance for fear she would discover a wizard or witch in disguise, but they all looked like normal Londoners on their way to work. 

The trip to Downing Street took about twenty minutes, which she used for rehearsingthe practical details Peter had given her: where the drinks, the kettle for tea and the coffee machine were, and, in the case of the latter, how it worked; where the china and glasses were to be found Uncle Richard usually used; what biscuits he had when; who the other members of the catering staff were; what she was and was not to do or say to whom… It was a long list of little things to remember and she hoped that the confundus charm Kingsley was going to use against the other members of staff would prevent them from wondering why, for example,she was asking questions about things she should long have known. 

 

The charm seemed to work quite well with the guard at the servants entrance, or else he might simply not know Manuela well enough to see the difference. He greeted Billie with a curt nod, inspected her badge and let her in. 

She took a deep breath when she entered the servants’ corridor, and decided to plunge into this unknown pool without further hesitation. <i>Les jeux sont faits, rien ne va plus</i>, she thought rather fatally as she pushed open the door that lead to a huge, sun-lit kitchen, where two women she recognised as the cook Mrs Twinings and her assistant Jenny stood cleaning vegetables for the soup. 

 

She fairly easily found her way through the tasks Manuela was supposed to do, especially since Mrs Twinings appeared to be a rather bossy and somewhat anxious lady who kept on shouting reminders to all members of the catering staff who came directly in touch with the Prime Minister and his closest collaborators. Billie could very well imagine how most people found that immensely irritating, but for an inexperienced person like herself, the cook’s instructions and orders were most welcome. 

Still, every time she was asked to bring something up to her uncle’s or Peter’s office, Billie was glad to be able to leave the busy kitchen behind for a while. Even if Kingsley’s charm appeared to work very well, she constantly feared to be found out by someone who, for some reason, had escaped the confusion spell and would recognise her as a fraud. 

She had no chance to speak to either of her relatives, however. Peter was constantly in a meeting with all sorts of officials and her uncle was having his weekly cabinet meeting in the morning, followed by lunch at the residence, which was attended by two men-servants who reminded Billie strongly of old-fashioned butlers. After that, the PM locked himself in his office with the Lord Chancellor, probably to discuss the budget or any other important financial matters. 

 

But the day passed completely uneventfully, and the one after that as well. 

Rodolphus kept himself in his office, and apart from the occasional visit to the loo and the coffee corner, he behaved exemplary.

About a week later, he even reported himself sick. Archie and Billie immediately grew suspicious, but there was no way for them to check if he had done a runner or not. They just had to wait and see if he decided to come back or not. 

Another week passed, and another one and still Rodolphus had not returned. Since there didn’t seem to be any immediate danger, they had decided to send Archie home and just keep Billie in Manuela’s place. And that was fine with Billie. She used the time to get a hundred percent familiar with the PM’s household and to practise her defense in the evening.

 

To their surprise nothing happened in the days before the European Top either. They had expected Rolph to turn up again, but he kept on sending sick notes from a GP noone had ever heard of. This proved that he still had plans to come back, but that the European Top was not an event which he thought he could learn from. It seemed the Millenium Buffet was indeed going to be the day when the attack would take place, a fact that was confirmed when, about three weeks before it would take place, Rodolphus suddenly appeared in the office again. 

Archie was immediately sent back to Downing Street and Billie, who was now so comfortable in her job as a catering lady, had all the time to follow every move he made.

 

When she was not serving tea and biscuits, she kept herself busy with keeping the coffee corners tidy and making fresh hot drinks, which offered her an excellent view on the room where Archie and Lestrange sat working and, more importantly, on the only door it had. As soon as she saw Archie leave the room, she entered to water the plants, or to perform some other Manuela task, or if that wasn’t possible without raising suspicion, she took out the little mirror from her make-up set and watched Lestrange in it while she busied herself at the coffee machine. 

It worked rather well, until Archie was called in at the office of the PM’s Parliamentary Secretaries and stayed away for many long minutes. 

Billie couldn’t enter the office again and she had been occupied in this coffee corner for a long time already, so she hid behind a huge plant and waited. 

And sure enough, not a minute later, Lestrange appeared into the corridor, cautiously glancing around and when he thought the coast was clear, tiptoed to the little office that served as an anti-chambre to Peter’s office. 

Billie frowned. Where was Mr Peel who usually occupied this office? She tried to remember if she had seen him come out, but she couldn’t recall that. 

It was impossible for her to go inside and check what Lestrange was up to, of course, but that wouldn’t even be necessary: Fred had given her a couple of spy-scruffs, tiny little creatures that only consisted of two legs and something that could be considered as a head where the legs met. The head was in fact a tiny glass ball that registered a perfect 360° view on the room around it. 

Billie took a spy-scruff out of her pinnies and as soon as it hit the ground, it scurried off to the office and threw itself flat on the ground, so that, apart from its head, it was completely covered in the hairs of the thick carpet. 

Only a couple of minutes later, Lestrange came out again, looked left and right to check if noone had seen him and slipped back into his own office. Billie softly whistled through her teeth, which was the signal for the spy-scruff to hurry back towards her and show her what it had registered. 

It wasn’t so difficult to guess: Lestrange had been studying the PM’s agenda. He had taken note of one appointment in particular, something he had come across as he was flicking through it. Then, after he had taken down the details, he had turned the page back to the date the agenda mentioned when he found it. 

According to Billie’s counting, he had turned the page four times, so she would have to do the same to see what exactly had drawn his attention. But then Archie came out of the PPS. 

“Are you still here, Manuela? Shouldn’t you have left already?”

“Yes, I’ve finished now, Mr Williamson. I’ll be off in a minute” Meanwhile, she was sending him a silent but clear message that she wanted to talk to him. Archie gave a nearly imperceptible nod and with a neutral “See you tomorrow, then”, walked away from her and disppeared into his office. 

Billie slipped into the ante-chambre; flicked through the agenda until she came at the page she suspected Lestrange to have been copying and ran her finger over the entries. 

There was a meeting planned in… Paris, with the French PM. Why should Lestrange be interested in a meeting in France? Unless he just wanted to make sure that the PM would be out of the house to… to do what…? Attack? Not the PM, but perhaps Peter, or Archie? 

In any case, all of them would have to be very careful that day. She quickly checked the previous and the following pages, to see if anything special was written there just in case she had miscalculated the number of flicks Lestrange had done, but there was nothing special. A nearly empty agenda on Tuesday; and a preparation meeting with the Foreign minister and a weekly staff meeting on Thursday. And something that was labelled “own time” – probably a couple of hours the PM had booked for himself to study or prepare something. 

She went back to her dressing room, took off her uniform, got into her jeans and pullover and pulled on her jeans jacket. With a detour, just to make sure that she wasn’t followed, she took the road to Peter’s house and let herself in through the backdoor. She put the kettle on and waited for Archie and Peter to turn up, which wasn’t until several hours later. 

 

After she had told them about the things she had discovered, they spent some time discussing the various scenarios Rolph could be planning. Since they hardly had the possibility to spy on him after-hours, they would have to make sure that they learnt a maximum of his whereabouts during his time at work. But that was absolutely insufficient. 

“So we’ll have to get imperiused,” said Archie matter-of-factly, “Not for real, of course,” he added when he saw Billie’s shocked face, “We’ll have to fake it. Of course, Peter, you won’t be able to protect yourself against the curse, so I suggest Kingsley takes your place in the next days until Rolph has had the chance to imperius him, and then we can show you how you can play your role convincingly”. 

“I’m not sure I like that,” said Billie, “I’m not even sure <i>I </i>can pretend being imperiused convincingly”. 

“Don’t worry. That’s exactly what we’ll practise  in the next couple of days”. 

“Who says Rolph has the intention to imperius us?” asked Peter, “He may be focusing on getting his own people inside the office”. 

“Which he can’t. So the only thing left for him to do is imperius the crucial staff. Mr Willis, the Head of Security, will be the first victim”. 

“So one of us will have to take his place,” concluded Billie. 

“No, because Mr Willis has so much knowledge about the security rules that noone can take his place”. 

“But if he’s imperiused…” 

‘… then we will have to keep a very close eye on his movements and keep him as far from Rodolphus as possible”.

“Or shadow him <i>after </i>he has been imperiused,” said Peter slowly, “We might find out what they’re up to”

“Yes, well… we’ll see what happens,” said Archie, “We’re supposing a lot, perhaps. Let’s give the matter some thought and meet Kingsley later tonight. Then we may have a better of idea of the best way forward”.


	10. Part IV Chapter 10

10

 

The room was dark and silent. Around a long, shiny, mahogany table sat a couple of highly unpleasant characters, one of which Billie recognised as Draco Malfoy’s father and another one as Rodolphus Lestrange. Opposite her sat the imperiused Head of Security of Downing Street 10, James Willis, who they hadn’t been able to protect in time, and next to him Kingsley in the body of the PM’s right hand, Peter Matthews.

Billie herself was an imperiused Manuela, or so it seemed. She had been able to resist Lestrange’s imperius charm without much difficulty. 

The door opened and a tall man who bore a resemblance to Rodolphus Lestrange, walked in. He was the same built and had the same dark, not on the whole unattractive appearance as his brother, if it weren’t for the cruel grin that was playing around his mouth. 

“Goodevening, Rabastan,” Rodolphus greeted him, “Mr Matthews, James… this is my brother”. 

The tea girl was overlooked. Billie thought Manuela was probably not high enough in the hierarchy to Rolph’s taste.

Mr Willis and Kingsley nodded curtly but didn’t say anything. Rodolphus’s brother took place opposite Kingsley, next to Lucius Malfoy. 

Then all of a sudden Rodolphus turned his attention to Billie anyway. 

“So according to my brother, Manuela, both you and the PM’s Chief of Staff Mr Matthews would offer their service to our little … mission. Is that correct? “

Billie nodded, making sure the expression in her eyes was as empty and vacant as she could possibly fake. 

“Good. What would be your motivation for doing so?” asked Rabastan. 

Billie shrugged. “I don’t know” that was probably what an imperiused person would say. They couldn’t have a reason for joining the other side, could they? They were forced to follow their opponents. 

That seemed to satisfy both Lestranges. They exchanged meaningful looks and focused back on the two men opposite them. 

“And Mr Willis, who’s heading the security guards, has kindly offered to help us too,” continued Rabastan, “How did you manage that, Rolph?”

“The usual way,” said Rodolphus, “Mr Willis’ cooperation will prove to be most valuable for our cause”. 

“True,” nodded Rabastan, “If we can get through security, getting at the PM will be a piece of cake”. 

Mr Willis didn’t say anything. Instead, he sat resting his eyes on Billie and Kingsley in such an impassive way that Billie wondered if he had been given some sedative on top of the imperius charm. 

“All right,” said Rabastan, who seemed to be in charge of the operation, “We all know why we’re here, except perhaps for our new friends here. Next Tuesday, the buffet for the start of the Millenium works will take place and can you remind me of who the guests shall be, Mr Matthews?”

“The Lord Mayor and his staff; most of our ministerial officials; the PM; the press…” Kingsley started to sum up.

“There are even rumours that a member of the Royal family may turn up. Now how do we like that, my friends…?” Rodolphus sneered. A sniggering passed through the party that was gathered around the table. Billie thought it wise to join them, but Mr Willis and Kingsley remained impassive. 

“Reason enough to move on with our plans,” concluded Rabastan, “If we can top the Queen, it will destabilise the country even more than anything we can imagine”. 

“True, and that will do, Rab,” said Rodolphus, who clearly wanted to have the lead in this meeting, “But we have no reason to believe the Queen will be present, nor even the Prince of Wales or anyone else who’s close to her”. He folded his hands and let his chin rest on the tip of his fingers. “Our main target is the Prime Minister. I don’t care how many more victims we make as we go along. Because what is it exactly that we want to achieve with this attack, Rabastan?”

Rodolphus clearly wanted to illustrate his superiority over his brother in treating him in such a patronising way. 

“We want to cause panic with the muggle population”. 

“A feeling that law and order have lost it, yes”, agreed Rodolphus. “Now, Mr Willis, how do you think we can achieve this?”

“The Prime Minister will be surrounded by his closest members of staff,“ said the Head of Seurity evenly, as if he was still under the influence of some sort of sedative, “And his spouse and daughters, no doubt”. 

“The spouse is the least of our concerns,” grinned Rolph, “But what about those closest members of staff. Who are they?”

“I suspect the Chancellor of the Exchequer and the Home Secretary will join the party,” replied Kingsley in the body of Peter, “They are the ones who are most involved in this project”. 

“And their secretaries and personal assistants too, no doubt,” said Rolph, “Any security?”

“We haven’t received any instructions yet, “ replied Mr Willis, “But we are usually asked to act discreetly in the background”. 

“But physically close to the PM of course”. 

“Naturally,” nodded Mr Willis. 

“Will you be involved?”

“I expect so, yes. The PM always wants me close to him on such occasions”, Mr Willis replied, and Billie had the faint impression that his chest was swelling a little as he was saying this. 

“All right, so we have yourself and a couple of colleagues probably, a handful of Cabinet officials, the PM’s wife, and what about you Mr Matthews? Where will you be?”

“I will be close to the Lord Chancellor and the PM, or moving between them if they are apart”, said Kingsley.

Rodolphus nodded and then turned his attention to Billie. 

“And what will your role be during the banquet, Manuela?”

“I don’t think I have a role yet,” said Billie, “You see, I don’t think I will be invited”. 

“Of course you will be invited,” interjected Kingsley as Peter, “The PM and myself insist that their personal catering lady should join us”.

Billie tried hard to blush becomingly. “Oh thank you,” she said, pretending to be pleased by this offer. 

Rodolphus’s eyes rested a little too long on her to her taste, but he didn’t comment. From the corner of her eyes she could see how also the Head of Security, Mr Willis, sat staring at her. Was he gaping out of stupidity or just drooling over her, she wondered. It struck her that he might not be very intelligent, which she thought was strange for a man with such an important responsibility. 

“Very well…” said Rodolphus, “How can we smuggle our people in, do you think?” he asked Mr Willis, “Can you provide any badges or whatever you, muggles, use?”

“That is out of the question,” said the Head of Security importantly, “Even if we provided you with badges, social control will find you out immediately”.

“What do you mean ‘social control’?” asked Rab mockingly.

“The party will consist of a limited number of participants, “said Mr Willis, “Except for the catering staff, who will be thoroughly screened anyway, everyone knows everyone”. 

“Well then I suppose we will have to become caterers”, said Rodolphus triumphantly, which caused a contemptuous sniggering around the table.Mr Willis shook his head again. “I can’t see how you can do that, sir,” he said, “You see, Barleys and Marchant’s are well-known caterers who select their staff with the greatest care. Even if they were looking for new people, they would never let them start on such an important event as this one, not until they have given evidence of their exceptional skills many times”. 

“You don’t understand me, Mr Willis,” said Rodolphus, sending a meaningful glance at his brother and Lucius Malfoy, but he didn’t explain what it was exactly that Mr Willis didn’t understand. 

So they were hoping to use the Polyjuice Potion on the caterers, or perhaps even the PM’s staff, thought Billie, and she made a mental note of taking her spray with her, especially when Rolph suddenly turned his attention to her again. 

“And you will have to help us, Manuela,” he grinned, “You will have to find out who the servants will be that evening, and bring us something from them”. 

“What should I bring from them, sir?” she asked innocently. 

“We will come to that…” Rolph replied evasively, “Just make sure that you have their names”. 

She nodded.

“We won’t be that many,” continued Rolph, “Lucius, I suggest you don’t join us inside. Your interventions haven’t been very successful lately”. The latter was accompanied by a malicious grin. “Rab and myself can easily handle a group of muggles, even if it is the Queen and the PM, especially now that we have Mr Willis and Mr Matthews on our side too”. Again, Manuela was ignored, but Billie thought that was an excellent thing. The more they underestimated her, the better she could stand up against them. Furthermore, thinking that they would only be faced with Muggles was a serious miscalculation. 

“I think you forget the Auror, Rolph”, said Rabastan suddenly. 

“Archibald Williamson, you mean?” Rodolphus  sneered, “Of course I haven’t forgotten him. I have special plans for him”. 

“You won’t be able to imperius him, you know,” said his brother. 

“I know that, Rabastan” There was open hostility in the look Rodolphus sent him, “I said, I have <i>special</i> plans for him”. 

That sounded downright threatening, and Billie had to surpress a need to exchange worried looks with Kingsley. 

“Rab, will you join me in the adjacent room with Mr Willis and Mr Matthews? Manuela, there is very little you can do for us now, so I suggest you stay here, under the watchful eye of our friend Lucius of course, and wait for us to finish a few practical details”. 

Billie didn’t like the sound of this at all, but she didn’t dare to protest and was careful to keep her face as impassive and her mind as closed as possible. 

“Yes, Mr Lestrange,” she muttered.

So the four men got to their feet, and a visibly annoyed Lucius remained seated,  crossed his arms and sat scawling at Billie in silence. 

 

The men took a long time, and since neither Lucius nor Billie spoke, the latter took the time to carefully let her eyes run over all the expensive objects the room contained. She had no idea who this house belonged to, but it was clearly a dark wizard’s, and an extremely rich one at that. The enormous chandelier that was hanging over the table had to weigh tonnes, she thought. It consisted of five rows, each containing hundreds of little crystals that reflected the light of its many candles magnificently through their uncountable facets. On the white marble mantlepiece stood silver candlesticks which Billie didn’t think she could possibly lift, and a strange, crystal bowl in which some sort of liquid lay shimmering. It reminded her of Francis’s pensieve, but this bowl looked far too valuable for a pensieve and furthermore, she didn’t think anyone would be so negligent as to leave their thoughtsbehind on the mantelpiece of a room that was probably visited by all sorts of people. 

Above it hung a huge portrait of a fair-haired wizard, dressed in magnificent robes of velvet, lace and ermine. He had eyes as cold as steel that were staring down at her in utmost contempt. There were similarities with the cold man who was sitting opposite her, so she concluded that this had to be one of Lucius’s ancestors. The panelled walls on either side of the mantelpiece bore several more portraits, all men and women who breathed luxury and at the same time expressed a haughtiness Billie had not often seen in anyone.  

She could have asked Lucius who they were, just to open up the conversation, but a glance at his cold face made her immediately change her mind. This wasn’t at all the person one wanted to chit-chat with, and besides, she was absolutely not interested in anything about the Malfoy family in the first place. 

Severus was said to be a friend of his. And Severus often attended Death Eaters gatherings. Would he be sitting at this table then? On this chair even? Billie couldn’t imagine how he could possibly sit here, amongst these cruel people and Voldemort, feeding them information and pretending to be one of them. It made her terrified for him, … and a little proud too…

The door opened, but only Mr Willis appeared. 

“Mr Matthews wants to have a word with his hosts in private,” he explained as he sat down opposite Billie. 

An even more suppressing silence fell immediately after that, during which Lucius sat drumming his fingers on the table and Mr Willis continued his staring at her. 

What was it about her that this man found so fascinating? In the office, she had never caught him behaving like this before, even if she had run into him several times a day at least. Did he suspect that she wasn’t Manuela after all? Did the imperius charm neutralise the enchantment Kingsley had cast around her?

Lucius suddenly got to his feet and walked away from the table to the far end of the room, where a mahogany cabinet stood on which a couple of liquors stood displayed. He was in need of a drink, apparently. How kind of him tooffer them a drink too, Billie thought sarcastically, but then she was startled by the sudden voice of Mr Willis. 

“Don’t look at me”, he muttered, so Billie immediately shifted her gaze away from him and followed Lucius movements instead. “You are doing brilliantly. I think we should have a chat about a certain portrait in a book by George Elliot”.

It took a couple of seconds before she fully understood what it was that he was saying, and when she did, she had to make a serious effort to keep her eyes on a clearly ignorant Lucius and not shift her gaze towards him instead. 

Severus… dear old Severus. She would never master the art of occlumency as he did, but she was really pushing her own limits now, for a tremendous relief and excitement took possession of her as she watched Lucius pour his drink and walk back towards them. There were many talents Snape had, but his muffliato spell was a small wonder. 

 

They continued their staring or, in Lucius’s case, drinking, in silence until the door opened again and Kingsley and the Lestrange brothers reappeared. 

“We’re done,” said Rodolphus. “I will now escort you back to the manor’s  gates from where you will be able to disapparate”. 

“You won’t blindfold us anymore?” asked Kingsley. 

“No, Peter, that won’t be necessary,” said Rodolphus.

Billie rose together with Lucius and Mr Willis. Rodolphus shook hands with all of them, but Rabastan and Lucius gave a curt nod and turned away from them. 

“Until we meet again, at the office”, said Rodolphus when they had arrived at the gates, “Remember to not change anything in your behaviour, especially towards me. We mustn’t raise suspicion”. 

“Naturally,” said Kingsley, and with a curt nod he let Billie and Severus pass through the gate before he slipped through it himself. They disapparated when they were sure they were at a safe distance from the Manor. 

 

What Billie had feared had of course happened: Severus did not apparate together with them at the steps of the “Golden Lion”. How could he? He had no idea they had agreed to meet here after the meeting at the Malfoy Manor. And he had to keep his position a secret to all of them.

But what was he up to now? And how would he manipulate the real Mr Willis’ mind when he wasn’t even there to do it?

“Kingsley, we need to talk,” said Billie urgently, as soon as they had closed the secret door to the pub’s backroom behind them. Her uncle had advised them to use this place. He occasionally held secret meetings here, in this room, which his nephew and landlord of the Golden Lion kept at his disposal.

“Yes, I know,” replied the Auror, “but haven’t you forgotten anything?”

“Oh yes, sorry…” Billie muttered as she took her spray from her pocket and sent a jet of anti-polyjuice potion towards him. Peter’s face and hair immediately turned dark and his suit and shirt dangerously started to tighten as Kingsley’s heavier body filled his clothes again. 

“Mr Willis is one of us,” said Billie. 

“What do you mean?” frowned Kingsley, “He’s been imperiused”. 

Billie shook her head. “Someone else has taken his body. One of us”. 

“Who did? There are no other Aurors at the Ministry”. 

 “Does it matter?” she asked helplessly, “Isn’t it enough to know that he is on our side?”

“No, Billie,” Kingsley replied earnlestly, “That is not enough, as you very well know. The world is dangerous enough as such and I find having an unknown person sitting in our meeting, pretending to be such an important key person as the Head of Security, highly unsettling”. 

He saw the frustration on her face and frowned again. 

“What do you know that we don’t know, Billie?” he asked, “You surely trust me enough to tell me”. 

“No, it’s too dangerous”, she said firmly, “I’m sorry, Kingsley. It’s nothing to do with trust, but if I give you their name all could be lost. The Dark One has ears and eyes everywhere”. 

“That is true, and I suppose your person plays a double role?”

Billie nodded. 

“But how can you be sure that he isn’t playing a counter-espionage role? He could pretend to be on our side and still be close to the Dark Lord?”

Billie thought for a moment. “If I told you that I was there, a couple of weeks ago, when he helped Harry Potter retrieve an extremely important object, is that evidence of his good intentions enough?”

Kingsely was not the most expressive character she knew but this time, the slightly widened dark eyes told her that he was astonished. 

“Harry Potter? Have you seen Harry in the last months?”

Billie nodded. 

“And did Harry see the two of you?”

“No, he mustn’t know our… person is on his side. We were hiding”. 

“But… but where was he? How come you found him?”

“I can’t tell you,” said Billie decisively, “and that’s final…. I’m sorry, Kingsley”. 

The Auror stood studying her determined face for a while and then shrugged. “And you won’t tell me what that object was, and why Harry needed it, either”. 

“No, I won’t. I don’t even know myself why it is important. In any case, it’s a thing Harry needs to end his task successfully”. 

“So Harry has been given a task?” asked Kingsley, “We thought he might”. 

“Yes, well… that’s not important to us, is it? We’ve got my uncle and brother’s lives to save”. 

Kingsley smiled apologetically, “You’re right, Billie. But then, are you a hundred percent sure that your person has taken Mr Willis’s body during the meeting?”

“Yes,” Billie said, “He recognised me and he said something that only he and I know about”.

“And noone else can have found out about that thing?”

“No, that’s impossible. It was too personal”, said Billie, blushing slightly at the realisation that Severus knew why she had been so upset that morning. And that he was willing to explain things to her…

“Very well, then,“ said Kingsley, “I don’t like it, but I suppose I don’t have any other option than to trust you. So where is your man?”

“I don’t know,” said Billie, “You see, I had no idea he would appear in the meeting and he does not know that we have arranged to meet here”.“So how are you going to get in touch with him?” asked Kingsley.

“I can’t,” said Billie, “If he continues to play Mr Willis he will probably turn up at work, but I don’t think he will do that. He can’t be missed that often where he is now”. 

“So you don’t think he has captured the real Mr Willis and is going to be drinking Polyjuice Potion all the time, until the banquet starts?”

Billie shook her head. Apart from Severus’s other duties, he couldn’t replace Mr Willis for such a long time. The improved Polyjuice Potion made of course a longer disguise a lot easier than the normal one, but Billie knew that Severus couldn’t have had the time to brew a new stock in this short time. She hadn’t been able to finish hers yet, and they had probably started the brewing process at the same time. 

“I suppose we will have to be very careful when we talk to Mr Willis”, she said, “He might be himself, either imperiused or not, or our … spy. But our spy may not make it to the party. Or he may choose another disguise”. 

“Let’s hope not,” said Kingsley earnestly, “They intend to kill him”. 

“<i>What????!!!!</i>”

“Don’t worry,” he immediately added, marvelling at her shocked face, “We’ll be there to protect him, if he proves <i>not </i>to be your spy”. 

“What difference does that make?” asked Billie. 

“Your spy is probably an exceptionally skilled wizard. Noone can betray the Dark Lord who doesn’t have more than average skills. So he will better be able to protect himself than we will. It’s the real Mr Willis we have to take care of”. 

“And how will we be able to tell that he’s not the real Mr Willis?” asked Billie, “I can’t really spray the anti-polyjuice potion on him, can I”

“No, but we’ll find a way,” said Kingsley, “Ah there you are Archie. We were waiting for you. Have a seat. Anyway, Billie, what did Lucius have to say when you were alone with him?”. 

“Nothing. He clearly didn’t think I was important enough to talk to”.

“Hm… yes, that’s very like Lucius”. 

“And what about you? What did Rodolphus have to say to you?”

“Ah, that was interesting,” said Kingsley as he sat down at the small, round table that stood in the middle of the room. “He intends to have three Death Eaters disguised as caterers at the party, and he wants Peter to approach Barleys and Marchant’s with the request to only have the PM and himself served by those three”. 

“That can’t be too difficult”, said Peter, who had just walked into the room too, “They usually have a personalised service.” 

“It is of course their intention to take the place of those three persons. They also wanted me, or rather you, to find out in which van the food and the staff will be arriving. They want to temper with the snacks, I believe, and possibly even the champagne. And they have to overpower the staff, so that they can take their place”. 

“How are they going to do that?”, asked Billie, “Are they going to imperius the whole crew?”

“No, I don’t think so, but it would be wise if we could have one or two Aurors in that van too,” said Kingsley, “I’ll have to check who could do this for us”. 

“Well, I could be one of them,”, said Archie, “I haven’t been at the meeting, so I can’t play the PM’s or Peter’s role in any case”. 

“No, that’s right,” said Billie. 

“Anyway,” Kingsley continued, “as I said, we will all have to keep our eyes and ears wide open and make sure we continuously play our roles convincingly. Peter and Archie, I will spend some time with you to update you on what was discussed tonight and the persons we’ve met. I won’t be available in the next days. Billie, can you make sure we have the potions we need? And continue to work on those anti-imperius jinxes”. 

They stayed a little while longer to make sure that everything was arranged for the next days, and by the time Billie left the pub and took a cab home, she was so worried about the party that all the excitement she had felt at having discovered Snape earlier that evening had completely gone.

 

Several days passed during which not much happened. Billie started to feel quite comfortable in her “imperiused” tea-lady role, and spent the evenings practising the anti-imperius jinx and brewing the improved and ordinary Polyjuice Potions. She and Archie made sure Rodolphus was never unobserved: if neither of them could keep an eye on him, either because they were busy doing other things or because they couldn’t do it without raising suspicion, they made use of spy-scruffs. Furthermore, Peter had installed four permanent CCTV-cameras in Rolph’s office to which Archie had stuck anti-sabotage and undetectable jinxes. 

On the day the PM was visiting Paris, Rodolphus seemed more agitated than usual. He tried several times to sneak into Uncle Richard’s office or its anti-chambre, but found the door locked, or his intention was ruined by the sudden ringing of his telephone, the arrival of the cleaning lady or one of Peter’s secretaries. 

Peter was brilliantly faking his being imperiused too. As promised, he had been in touch with Barleys and Marchant’s  and given Rodolphus the names of three members of staff who would be serving the PM and his entourage during the banquet, and whose place the three Death Eaters would take. 

Before and after work, Rodolphus was always followed by a private-detective-pogrebin that looked a lot more human than its usual counterpart and to which Kingsley had attached two minuscule spy-scruffs which looked like the creature’s eyes. The good thing about a private-detective-pogebrin was that it shifted shape as soon as it was detected by its target so that it looked as if each time, a different person was walking behind the target they followed. It even detected traces of apparition, but those weren’t  always very precise: it often happened  that the pogebrin landed several miles away from Rodolphus, especially if he was apparating to an area where the pogebrin had never been before. Mostly, however, the Death Eater headed straight for the Malfoy Manor after work, but that didn’t make things easier either: the house was so well protected against intruders that even the spy-scruffs couldn’t pass through the gates, the hedges or any of the wrought-iron fences.

So all in all, they didn’t have a very clear idea of what the Death Eaters were up to. Were they still focusing on the party? Or was that a decoy? Rodolphus communicated very little with them, probably because he didn’t completely trust them or because there were very few occasions during which he could have a private conversation with either of them. Billie was seriously beginning to fear that Rodolphus had seen through their disguise or their so-called imperiused state and when she shared this with Archie, she noticed that he was struggling with that fear as well.

“We’ll have to trust our acting ability, Billie,” he finally said, “If Lestrange and his friends decide to change tactics, they will only do so because they don’t trust us”. 

“Does a Death Eater ever trust anyone?”, asked Billie.

He shrugged. “Who knows… Probably not. But then again, I don’t think we give them anyreason for <i>not </i>trusting us, or not enough to proceed with the plans we discussed. All three of us are playing our parts well”.“Well the good thing is that we try to stay away from him as much as possible,” said Billie, “Most of the time, he doesn’t have a chance to observe us or to trick us into saying things that might reveal us”. 

“Is the rest of the staff still clear, do you think?”

She nodded. “I think so. Mr Willis is clearly himself again – our spy has probably returned to his own duties - but he is still imperiused by Rodolphus. I grew suspicious when I saw Mrs Pennyweather sneak into the administrators’ office, but the spy-scruffs images showed that she was hiding a small present into Albert Clearwater’s drawer. It’s his birthday tomorrow, you know, and she fancies him”. 

“Oh, I see! So nothing special?”

“No, and no people in polyjuice disguise either”. 

“Good. I haven’t noticed anything either. Well, tomorrow night is the party. Are you ready for it?”

Billie shivered. “As ready as one can be, knowing that three highly-skilled Death Eaters will be roaming the place, ready to kill whoever they fancy. Do  you think You-Know-Who will be there as well?”. 

“No. We have seen evidence that he’s not even in the country. Still, it’s a good thing we have sealed the place against apparition, floo-network-connections and all other means that could let uninvited guests in. Will you have small containers of your spray for us?”

Billie nodded. 

“Good. And make sure you show Manuela from her best side. It will make you feel more confident, probably”. 

“Yes, I have already made an appointment with the hairdresser and I’ll spend all Saturday buying clothes”. 

Archie raised his eyebrows. “Is that the time you need to find something? Or do you intend to buy a completely new wardrobe?”

“No,” laughed Billie, “I don’t have a budget for that. But it is difficult to make choices for a completely different person. What would Manuela normally wear on such occasions? Nothing too expensive, I think, but what style?”

 

“Probably something simple and southern,” said Peter a couple of hours later, when they were all gathered in Archie’s kitchen and Billie had asked him the same question. “I remember she was wearing black during the Christmas party sometime ago. A skirt, a short jacket with a decent blouse underneath it, brownish nylon stockings and high-heeled shoes. Quite decently classical”. 

“Wow, you seemed to have had a good look at her!” laughed Archie, “Nothing more frivolous? I would have imagined something rather sensual when I hear ‘southern’”. 

Peter shook his head. “Nope. Nothing of the sort. She’s not the flirtatious type. Rather reserved, I’d say”. 

“Pity,” said Archie with a glance back at Billie. He wouldn’t have minded seeing a more sensual version of her at the party, but Billie was far too preoccupied with her thoughts and worries to even notice his admiring look.“So you do know that I will be playing myself,” said Peter. 

“Yes, we’ve been there,” said Billie wearily, “And Uncle Richard’s going to be himself too, and Archie’s the snacks-carrying lady”. 

“You’d better start practising your walk, Arch,” said Peter, “Your walk’s about as elegant as a dinosaur’s”. 

Archie’s muttered reply went lost with the arrival of grim-faced Kingsley in the room. 

“My intuition’s telling me that we should be careful,” he said earnestly.

“Yes, well, ” said Peter, “tell us something new for a change, will you”.

“I’m not joking, Peter,” said Kingsley and for the first time, Billie caught a glimpse of the undisputable authority that radiated from the Auror, “You will have some work to do tonight, I’m afraid”.

“What do you mean?” asked Peter, “Everything’s arranged isn’t it?”

“Not quite…” Kingsley let his eyes run over the curious faces surrounding him, “We have to change our location and the caterers”. 

“<i>What</i>?” shouted Peter, “But that’s impossible!”

“We have no other choice”.

“Why on earth should we do <i>that, </i>Kingsley?” asked Billie, “The party’s  tomorrow already. You will never find a caterer, or even another location by tomorrow”.

“Blenheim and Cocove’s have already agreed to take over,” said Kingsley, “You only need to arrange some practicalities with them, Peter. And the Tate Modern is perfectly suitable to host the party… and it’s free”.

“But what about the guests?” said  Archie, “Noone will know that the location has changed”

“Leave that to me…” said Kingsley, “Now… I think I’ll leave you to deal with the preparations. Nothing changes to the things we agreed and the scenario we set up. As we said, we have to prevent them from entering at all costs. The moment one Death Eater sets foot into that room we’re doomed. We’ll be heavily outnumbered and therefore no match for them”. 

“Is it still safe to have Peter and Uncle Richard there in person?” asked Billie, “If you’re going at this length for their safety you might as well take their place and leave them at home altogether”. 

Kingsley rested his eyes on her for a while before he replied. “No, that won’t be possible,” he finally said, “Both myself and Archie have to have a good overview of everyone’s movements before they have a chance to attack. If we take Richard and Peter’s place, we will never have that opportunity”. 

Peter nodded. “I can’t say I like it but the good thing is that we have our own security there as well, and they have seriously been warned”.

“Yes, well… a Prime Minister is used to the highest security rules,” said Archie, “And if we, from our side, prevent the Death Eaters from entering altogether I don’t think there is much to fear anymore”. 

“I wished I could believe that,” muttered Billie, and she made that reflection several times more that evening and night.


	11. Part IV Chapter 11

11

 

Billie took a deep breath when she emerged from the bathroom. She looked at her reflection in the only mirror her flat counted: the spotted front of what had once been a wardrobe and which stood casually leaning against the wall now. 

For as far as she could judge she looked rather southern. Earlier that day she had left her hair in the capable hands of an Andalusian hair dresser, who had tied it together into a severe, low-hanging bun. She was wearing a simple black dress – the idea of a two-piece women’s suit hadn’t appealed to her at all – under which she was wearing transparent black stockings and high-heeled black shoes. The only ornament she had allowed herself was a pair of round, silver-coloured, 1.99-pound-earrings. She hadn’t made up – only made sure her eyebrows and eye lashes were the same black as her dyed hair. 

She checked her watch. It was time to leave. Blenheim & Cocove’s had insisted on a strictly followed time-schedule and since she was going to accompany the food transport to the Tate Gallery she couldn’t afford to be late. She had hoped Kingsley would have providedone or two Aurors to accompany her, but he couldn’t miss anyone.

The crew greeted her curtly, but not unfriendly. They looked stressed. Two men in cooks uniform handed trays of canapés and sandwiches over to the girl and man who were loading the van from the inside. 

“Are you sure this one is safely secured?” growled the cook. He looked rather bad-tempered, Billie thought, “It only took half of the night to have them prepared”. 

“Yes, don’t worry,” sighed the girl in the van, “It’s not the first time we transport food trays in these racks, is it? Why should it suddenly be more insecure this time?”

The cook muttered something that sounded like “Murphy” but didn’t comment any further. Instead, he lifted a large pot of what looked like tomato soup from the ground and shoved it towards the man in the van. 

“How are we supposed to heat this?” said the girl, “We don’t even have a proper kitchen at the Tate!”.

“It’s gazpacho!” If the cook had been bad-tempered before, he didn’t even attempt to hide it anymore this time, “Heat this and I will personally kick you out”. 

“I’m only asking!” the girl snapped. 

After a little more bickering and the passing of a few more trays, the van was loaded and Billie, the driver, who was called Mike, and Jessica, the girl, climbed into the cabin to leave.

“Remember to call the security guards when you start the car,” said one of the women who had helped loading the van, “They have to know that you’re on the way so that they can keep an eye on you”. 

“Yes, yes. Been there, haven’t we?” said Mike impatiently, “… as if <i>we</i> are the ones to receive a bomb on our heads!” he added under his breath.

Billie thought it wise not to comment. Instead, she installed herself on the front seat, between the driver and the girl, and buckled up, after which she discretely lay a hand on the left pocket of her raincoat, so that she could retrieve her wand in less than a second if the need occurred.

 

Unfortunately, the journey wasn’t so uneventful as she had expected it to be. They had barely driven ten minutes when a police van pulled them over. 

“What’s that?” asked Jessica. “You haven’t sped, have you?”

“’Course I haven’t,” growled Mike, “How could I, in this traffic?”

“Are you wearing your seat belt?” asked the girl. 

“Can you recall hearing that blasted tee-dum tee-dum because I wasn’t?” snapped the driver. 

“This stinks,” said Billie slowly, “I doubt they should be policemen at all”. 

The bad-tempered look on the driver’s face was instantly replaced by one of curiosity. “Are you sure?” he asked, “They do carry out a lot of checks, you know, the police. Drugs traffic and such. Have been stopped before”. 

“Yes , but surely not in the middle of the City!” said Billie, “It isn’t as if you’re on your way back from the airport or something”. 

Meanwhile, one of the policemen had got out of the car and was now walking towards them. 

“You see…?” whispered Billie, “There’s no second policeman. They’re supposed to always be two of them, no?”

Mike shrugged. “Dunno,” he said, “I suppose that in cases like…”. But before he had the chance to explain in which cases there could be an exception, Billie’s eyes had registered a familiar movement of the policeman’s hand towards his pocket and the next moment, he dropped paralysed on the cobblestones as Billie’s stunning spell hit him straight through the van’s side screen into the face. Jessica gave a scream.

“What’s that?” spluttered Mike, “What the devil…?”

But as quickly as she had stunned the policeman, Billie had pointed her wand at the driver’s forehead and reset his memory. She did the same with Jessica and then climbed over the confused girl to get out of the van. 

“See… he’s a fake”, she said when she rolled the copper onto his back to reveal his features. “I know him. He’s one of the conspirators we have been keeping an eye on”. 

He was indeed Rabastan Lestrange and the discovery of him suddenly sent shivers down Billie’s spine. “It means that we’ve been found out,” she muttered to Mike and Jessica who had knelt down next to her. “I must warn our colleagues at the Tate”.

“That won’t be necessary,” said Mike, “See… the security officers are already here. They have been following us, you know”. He looked back at the paralysed man at his feet. “I wondered what happened to that bloke. It’s as if he’s received a shock”. 

“Never mind that,” Billie hastened to say, “Is that Mr Willis in the security van?”

As the man and the girl looked up to inspect the people in the newly arrived car, she securely tied Rabastan’s hands together with the help of her wand and undid the stunning spell just as Jessica turned to her again.

“There’s two of them,” the girl said, apparently not aware of what Billie had been doing and seemingly oblivious to the wooden stick that was hastily put away again, “Do you know them?”

Billie had a closer look at the uniformed men. One of them was definitely Mr Willis, but whether he was himself, or imperiused, or Severus in disguise, was impossible to say. In any case, Billie did not trust these men with her precious catch. And as she sat making that reflection she sudddenly realised that this was all wrong : Mr Willis had not been informed about the new location and caterers because they had not been sure whether he was still imperiused or not. Instead, Peter had called upon a secret branch of his security staff to take care of the catering van. So Mr Willis had been tipped, just like Rabastan and the other Death Eaters had been tipped. 

“I think we should call the Chief of Staff,” she said, “I don’t think those security men should take care of this conspirator”. 

“Nonsense, “said Mike, “It’s what they’re paid for, isn’t it?”

“And what if they’re part of the plot?” Billie snapped. The men were more or less within earshot now. “We can’t trust anyone”. 

But before she could grab her mobile and call Peter, both security men had reached them and Mr Willis knelt down to inspect the captured Rabastan.

“Well… well…” he said, “Caught a policeman, did we?”

“He’s not a policeman,” said Billie curtly, “He was going to attack us”. 

“Did he now…” muttered Mr Willis, “Well in that case, I suppose we’ll have to turn him in. There’s a police station just around the corner”.

“Can’t we call them and ask them to pick him up for us then?” asked Jessica, “I don’t think you should be taking him there… He might be dangerous”. 

“If he is what you claim he is then he definitely <i>is</i> dangerous. Anyone attempting an attack on a PM is bound to be dangerous,” Mr Willis sounded patronising, not unlike Snape in his schooldays, but something in the way he behaved told Billie that he wasn’t Severus in disguise. 

“Our instructions were quite clear,” said Billie firmly, “If anything suspicious happened during the transport, I was to inform my contacts at the Ministry”. 

“I can’t see who they may be, Manuela,” said Mr Willis haughtily, “Given the fact that <i>I </i>am the Head of Security. I daresay I should be in the best position to take care of these matters”.

Billie pressed her lips firmly together as she racked her brain for a suitable reply. She had to get him away from Rabastan. If Mr Willis was still imperiused, he would definitely set the Death Eater free again, and probably let him into the Tate Gallery, probably together with other companions. And they had to prevent that at all cost.

“Why don’t the three of you drive on to the Tate?” suggested Mr Willis, “Bernie and I will deliver this one at the police station and join you immediately afterwards”. 

“You don’t understand,” said Billie stubbornly, “He will escape you. He’s…”

“You have to trust us, Manuela”. It was the first time Bernie, the other security agent, spoke. Until then, Billie hadn’t even noticed him. He was a red-haired, freckled man she had never seen before, quite a bit younger than Mr Willis and he looked a lot friendlier too. Still, he sounded quite firm when he addressed her. 

“We know exactly what we’re doing”. 

There was a certain emphasis in the way he spoke these words, as if he really wanted to suggest he knew more than the average muggle security officer. And then he winked and Billie understood that he was one of them. 

“All right then,” she said, “I suppose we shouldn’t waste too much time, if you’re sure you can handle him”.

Bernie gave a hardly detectable nod, and so Billie, Jessica and Mike took their places in the van again. 

“Straight on to the Tate, Mike,” said Billie, “You’d better not stop for anyone anymore”.

“All right,” sighed Mike, “Funny business this. Can’t say I like it at all”. 

“Nor do I and nor does the PM or the rest of the staff”. 

“I wonder what it is they’re after,” said Jessica, “Why would anyone suddenly want to attack a bunch of government officials?”

“It’s not the first incident we’ve had these last months,” said Mike, “People disappearing. Bridges collapsing. I wonder if our government is still in control, really. Even the weather’s lousy”. 

“Yes, well they can’t be blamed for that, can they”, said Billie, “Anyway, there’s always been security issues in this country. Let’s hope it’s all a coincidence and over very soon”. 

But she was the only person in the van who did not believe a word of what she was saying.

 

When they arrived at the Gallery, they were sent to the back of the building where all deliveries were made. Billie had kept her fingers around the wand in her pocket all the time, but now that they had arrived, she took it out and that was none too soon. As soon as the van had turned the corner and arrived at the back of the building, a group of people who apparently had been waiting for them sprang into action, and it took Billie only half a second to recognise the wands in their hands. She immediately shot a paralysing spell, which made the van’s front screen scatter into hundreds of tiny pieces. 

“Dive!” she shouted at Mike and Jessica, but then she received the shock of her life when she noticed that Jessica was firing jinxes through the broken screen too. There was no time for explanations, because one of the Death Eaters, who was disguised as a waiter, was rushing to the van now, with a waitress and another waiter at his heels. 

“<i>Protecto!</i>” shouted Jessica, just as Billie was screaming “<i>Expelliarmus</i>” . The first waiter’s wand flew out of his hand but out of reach of the people in the van. 

“We have to get out!” said Billie, “Quickly!”

Both women jumped out of the front seats, at the opposite side of the Death Eaters so that they could use the van’s side for protection. A green flash sped towards them but was instantly blocked by Jessica who, immediately afterwards, sent a rain of spells to the other side. She seemed quite a skilled fighter.

One Death Eater was down, another one had lost his wand but summoned it back to him again, after which Billie sent it flying over the van’s roof into her outstretched hand and the Death Eater got the full blast of Jessica’s killing curse. 

“Dead?!” asked Billie incredulously.

“It’s him or one of us,” said Jessica grimly, and she sent another paralysing spell at the last Death Eater. “You can tie these two up, if you like. They’re not much of a danger. I’m going inside now”. 

“Who did you kill?” asked Billie.

“Never mind”. Jessica was already heading for the back door, meanwhile carefully scanning the surroundings, but there weren’t any other people in the yard. “Take care of the driver”. 

Of course. Mike was still in the van. Billie opened his door and found him rolled up under his steering wheel. 

“What on earth was that all about?” he shouted, as soon as he realised they were out of danger. 

“<i>Obliviate</i>” Billie whispered under her breath, “We have been attacked by the conspirators. One of them is shot dead and the other two are tied up”. 

“I had no idea you were carrying any weapons”, muttered Mike confusedly, “Did you know they were going to be here?”

“We had a suspicion,” said Billie, as she helped him out of the van, “And now it seems like there may be more of them inside too. So I’d better get inside”. 

“What about Jes? Where is she?”

“Inside already. Don’t worry. She’s OK”. 

“And what do I do?”

Billie shot him a backward glance. “Well, unload the van, of course. There’s going to be a buffet in an hour, remember? And as soon as it is unloaded you have to go back to the company”

“Why?”

“They need you in the kitchen”.

“And those two?” He pointed at the two Death Eaters who lay side by side, tied up like sausages.

“Security has arrived,” said Billie, and sure enough, a group of four heavily armed men came walking out of the Gallery, their faces grim when they saw the people on the ground. 

“What happened?” asked one of them. 

“They were waiting for us and they attacked,” said Billie. 

“That one’s dead,” said a second officer who knelt at the side of the first Death Eater. “But I see no shot wounds”. 

“He dropped dead when we opened the fire,” said Billie trying hard to sound convincing, “Heart seizure, no doubt”. 

“Yes, probably,” he agreed. Then he looked up at her. “Did you do this on your own?”

“No, I got the assistance of Jessica, one of the waitresses who travelled with us”. 

“We know Jes,” nodded the first man, “She’s one of us”. 

No she’s not, you idiot, thought Billie, she’s one of <i>us</i>. But she thought it wise not to express these thoughts.

“All right, then,” he said, “Jones, Wallace, you take care of those two. Miss… what’s your name again?”

“Esteban. Manuella Esteban”. 

“Well, Miss Esteban, the police will have to make an inquiry, so you will have to be available for questions. I will call them in a minute”. 

“Sorry, sir,” said Billie, “But I’m afraid there are more of them inside. Couldn’t you first… you know… make sure that the PM and his staff are safe? They’re expected any moment now”.

“No, they aren’t” said Mike, “The buffet’s not until seven”.

“They have speeches first,” said Billie, “The official part takes about an hour”. 

“No time to lose then,” said the first officer with a glance at the dead man on the floor, “Well, I suppose this one won’t run very far anymore. All right, Jones, Wallace, drop those two in our van and follow me. Bucklefinn, you carry the dead one and you stay with the three of them in the van”. 

The men immediately did as they were told. In seconds, the place looked completely normal again. If it wasn’t for the scattered glass and dented van, noone could suspect that only minutes before a lethal fight had taken place. 

“What the devil are <i>they</i> doing here?” Wallace suddenly shouted.

The latter was referring to Mr Willis and Bernie who came driving in at that moment and pulled up at a few paces from where they were standing. “They weren’t supposed to be here, right?”

Billie shrugged. “I don’t know. They helped us get rid of other attackers we met on our way”. 

“You met other attackers?” asked Jones, “How come we haven’t been informed about that?”. 

“I don’t know,” said Billie again, “Perhaps you should ask them”. 

“No time for that. Bucklefinn, make sure those two can’t escape anymore. And keep them hidden! These are not for their eyes! Jones, Wallace!” and with that, he indicated that it was time for them to join him inside again. Billie followed, and Mike, having nothing better to do than to follow her instructions, opened the van’s backdoors and started to unload the plates on the trolley they had brought with them.

“What’s happened here?” asked Mr Willis as he got out at the car and felt the scattered glass crunch under his heavy boots, “Is that your windscreen?”

“<i>Was</i>” Mike corrected him. “We had a small accident”. 

“How can you have had an accident?” asked Bernie, “We’ve only just left you”. 

“Yes well, rather strong brakes. No good if you have a silver tray in your lap”. 

Mr Willis seemed to be happy with that explanation. He didn’t even seem to notice the dents in the van. Instead, he turned to enter the building. 

Bernie, however, let his eyes run over the glass, the dents and black spots where the curses and jinxes had hit the van. One of them had been caused by a killing curse. He held his breath for a moment. It couldn’t be… But then he spotted Bucklefinn’s black van.

“You go ahead, Willis,” he said to his colleague, “I have a little matter to settle first”. 

Willis shrugged and continued his walk to the Gallery’s backdoors. It was amazing how an imperius curse deprived certain people of their primary instincts or common sense, thought Bernie as he watched him walk away. Then he took out his wand and sent a confundus charm at Bucklefinn. 

“Who have you got in there, sir?” he asked the guard who sat watching him as if he wasn’t sure he was awake or having a dream. “Don’t worry. I’m one of your superiors”.

“Two attackers we captured. And one dead one”. 

“All men?”

Bucklefinn nodded. 

“Can I have a look?”

The guard got out of the car without protest and shuffled to the back of the van to open the door. 

Bernie let an inaudible sigh of relief and nodded.

“All right. Go back and sit in the van. I’ll take care of them”. 

The guard obeyed in a way that resembled mostly servility. Bernie inwardly shook his head at the weakness of some people’s minds. It seemed as if Muggles were even weaker than the average wizard who, as a rule, already showed very little backbone. 

With a vanishing spell, he sent Rabastan’s dead body back to the Malfoy Manor. Then he looked at the two petrified Death Eaters, unsure what to do with them. Sending them somewhere far away would only give the Aurors a temporary break. And as they were lying here, so defenceless, he couldn’t bring himself to killing them either, even if that would be the best option for everyone. 

He felt for their wands but could only find one, which he pocketed. Then he carefully closed the doors and walked back to the front of the van. 

“Take them to the police station,” he said, “Tell the police they attacked the catering van and are involved in a conspiracy against the PM. They should be locked up with the highest security. The PM’s office will get in touch with them for an offical complaint soon”. 

Bucklefinn nodded. “No problem, sir, we are well known at the Yard”. 

“Good. Be careful”.

And with a sigh of relief he saw the van start and drive away from the courtyard.

 

At the far end of the buffet table stood Rodolphus, impeccably dressed in an expensive black suit with white shirt, black tie and terribly shiny shoes. He looked as if he owned the place, which was perhaps not too far from the way the Head of Catering at Blenheim and Cocove’s should carry himself. Severus saw him exchange a few words with Mr Willis. 

It was a good thing he had managed to imperius Rolph, or this place would have turned into a scene of massacre in no time. He hadn’t been able to undo the charm on Mr Willis though.

He looked up when Lucius – dressed in a neat dark-blue women’s uniform, complete with flower in the button hole and beige stockings – offered him a canapé from the plate he was carrying. 

“They’re safe, Jugson” whispered Lucius, “We’ve reserved the lot in the van for our special guests and sent these top-secretly two days ago”. 

“Thanks,” said Severus, “I’m too nervous to eat. Besides, I’m not sure I trust two-day old canapés”. 

Lucius grimaced. “Watch out for the red-haired waiter and the blonde waitress with the ladder in her stockings. They’re Archie and his little friend”, he whispered. “As far as I can tell, they’re the only Aurors here, but it’s hard to tell for sure. I wonder if the Spanish one is safe, though”, he added, with a foul look at Billie who was standing a little further away, seemingly absorbed in the brochure they had received during the official part. 

“Yes, quite safe,” muttered Severus, “She travelled with the caterers in the van. Tampered with the food on Rolph’s orders”. 

“But she didn’t kill the driver and the waitress in the van as she was supposed to do”. 

“She has no driving license,” said Severus, “We still needed the food to arrive here”.

“Yes, at least that bit worked out all right. I wonder where Rab is. Have you seen him after he stopped the van?” asked Lucius. 

“He is here, in the kitchen” said Severus, looking Lucius straight into the eyes “Willis and myself let him escape so that he could come here and attack the driver and the waitress. Avery and Rowle have taken their place”. 

“Why didn’t he kill them the first time? When he stopped them on their way here?”

“Too much audience. They were driving through the busiest streets of London”.

“Then why did he bother to stop them?”

“He needed to check what the situation was; if Manuela was still imperiused and no Aurors were travelling with them”. 

“I see,” said Lucius approvingly, “Good thinking. So there’s two of us in the backroom, two of us serving, and you and Mr Willis as security. Can’t go wrong”. 

“No, it can’t,” said Severus. Except that Lucius was making a serious miscalculation. Rabastan was dead; Avery and Rowle tied up and locked up in the van; Rodolphus imperiused; Billie in Manuela’s body and Lupin in Jessica’s. He only hoped that none of the Aurors would think Bernie was imperiused just like Mr Willis was and go for him, especially if one of his fellow-Death Eaters called him <i>Jugson</i>. Only Billie had an inkling he was Snape <i>and</i> on their side.

Lucius walked away from him and was immediately stopped by a small group of guests who wanted to taste his canapés. How he had to hate this, Lucius: serving Muggles he loathed nearly as much as house elves, especially when he was used to being served himself. 

Severus smiled. He checked his watch. There were only a few minutes left before the Death Eaters would spring into action. Lucius, Rodolphus, Mr Willis and himself were supposed to meet with their companions in the kitchen and then attack in one go. He had to make sure he intervened before Willis and Lucius realised that there were no companions in the kitchen, and that Rolph was not behaving as he should.

 

 “I don’t think we have met before,” a voice suddenly said. 

Billie turned around and looked into the friendly face of a middle-aged man. He looked like a good-humoured uncle with his wavy, grey hair, bowtie under his somewhat plump face and large, friendly eyes. “My name is Bart Wimpleton. I’m the Senior secretary to the Lord Chancellor”. 

“Oh, “ said Billie, shaking the hand he offered her, “I’m nothing of the sort, I’m afraid. My name is Manuela Esteban. I work at the PM’s office”. 

“Oh, I wouldn’t say that’s nothing,” said Mr Wimpleton, “What do you do there?”

“I’m the tea lady”. 

It was hard to tell what the man was thinking, but clearly that type of profession wasn’t what he had hoped to hear from her. 

“Well, … “ he said, “we all like a decent cup of tea at the right time,” and with that he walked away. 

Billie inwardly fumed, but she forced herself to send him a polite smile as she sprayed the anti-polyjuice potion onto the back of his head and, when nothing happened, walked away to the buffet table where a small group of people stood discussing the present PM’s policy. 

“Honestly, his social programme is so… seventies”, said an elegant woman in a – to Billie-posh voice. “These are no times to reform the school system. Besides, what’s wrong with it? My Jeremy has never complained at Eton”.“Nor has my Elisabeth. She’s nearly graduating at Cambridge, mind, and I’m sure she will be offered a scholarship for a doctorate very soon”. 

Billie quickly made herself out of the way and in her hurry, nearly collided with Bernie. 

“Collect Kingsley, Archie and Remus. Position them close to the kitchen as soon as you see that waitress over there, the Head of Catering, myself and Willis walk towards it”.

“Where’s Remus?” asked Billie. 

“Jessica. Noone knows it is he. And make sure your uncle and brother do not go wandering around. They are very well positioned at the window over there. And they must not eat or drink anything”.

“Who are you?” Billie whispered.

“Come into the kitchen as soon as you see me walk in. You are supposed to be on their side. I will seal the backdoor. They will be trapped”. 

And with that he left her alone and walked over to Rodolphus to invite him to the kitchen.

 

Billie couldn’t openly address Kingsley and Archie. They had probably been recognised by the Death Eaters, even if they played their role brilliantly. So she passed the message to Jessica, who had just come to offer her one of the small éclairs she was bringing round. According to whoever replaced Bernie, Remus had not been recognised by anyone. 

Billie saw Kingsley frown when Remus passed him an éclair and the message. He probably didn’t know if it was a good idea to leave the PM and his staff unprotected. The kitchen was completely at the other end of the room. Billie had to admit that she wasn’t sure how she felt about the plan, either. And who said that Bernie was to be trusted? He could have told her whatever he liked.

“Who told you to do that?” Kingsley whispered to Remus as he bent to straighten his stockings. “I hate these tights,” he muttered, “they’re way too small”.

“Bernie told Billie.” 

“He could be imperiused. Willis is”

“Don’t think so,” Remus whispered, “He’s setting a trap, he said, and it makes sense I think”. 

“With Billie inside we’ll be outnumbered”, said Kingsley. “I don’t like this at all”. 

“Yes, well… we have no other plan, do we?” Remus said. 

“I’ll cast a protective shield around the PM and the people around him,” said Kingsley, “Do they know that they mustn’t change their position?”

Remus nodded and walked away to where Archie was serving champagne. He had only managed to pass the message once more when, from the corner of his eye, he saw Billie move. Willis, Rodolphus and Bernie were on their way to the kitchen. Billie was following them.

It had started!

Very carefully so as not to raise any suspicion with the other guests, Archie shuffled backwards and as soon as he had reached the plants, put down his tray on a flower pot and hurried over to the kitchen door, where he hid behind a huge palm tree. Kingsley and Archie were with him in seconds and with beating hearts, the three of them waited until Billie had entered the kitchen. 

“Shall we seal the doors?” asked Archie. 

Kingsley shook his head. “Billie’s inside. She mustn’t be locked up with that lot”. 

“Bernie’s in there too,” said Jessica. 

“Yes well… we’re still not sure about him, are we,” muttered Kingsley. And so they stood in silence, their eyes locked on the double doors, their wands at the ready. At the other end of the room, Peter stood watching them and instructed the special guards to keep themselves ready. The tension in the room was nearly unbearable.

“Look,” whispered Kingsley, “We’ll give them two minutes. If they haven’t come out by then we’ll go in”. 

“But what about Billie?”

“She’ll be alright”, said Kingsley grimly. 

Archie and Remus exhanged uncertain glances but since neither of them had a better option they couldn’t do anything else than agree. With slightly trembling fingers they kept the kitchen doors covered with their wands.  

 

“What’s going on?” asked Rodolphus as soon as he had entered the kitchen.

“What d’you mean?” asked Lucius impatiently, “It’s time, isn’t it. Everyone ready?”

“Wait,” said Severus, “We can’t go inside”. 

“Why the devil not?” snapped Rodolphus who didn’t at all like the black hole he seemed to have in his memory, “We’re here to kill them, right?”

“We’re outnumbered,” said Severus, “The place’s swarming with Aurors and we’re missing our men. Where are they anyway?”

Everyone was looking at Mr Willis who stood staring back at them in confusion. 

“I don’t know,” he said, “Your brother and the two other men were waiting for the van here, but they had gone by the time Bernie and I arrived”.

Lucius sent a furious glance at Severus. “I thought you said they were here in the kitchen!” 

“They should be.” Severus sounding seriously worried, “I don’t know what happened to them. They were supposed to be waiting for us here!”.

“I didn’t see them walk in,” said Mr Willis. 

“Well, they weren’t in the courtyard either. Have you seen them?” Severus asked Billie.

“Yes, they took the driver’s and the waitress’s place. You saw the driver unload the van, didn’t you Mr Willis?”. She sounded unnaturally calm. And that was only because she was dying inside.

“And Rowle was serving éclairs. Well, where is he now?”

“No doubt captured by the Aurors,” said Severus, still making sure he stuck to Jugson’s Liverpudlian accent, “I’ve told you: the place is swarming with them. Look, we can’t go on. We’re too few. We have to save ourselves and be better prepared next time”. 

“What d’you mean!” shouted Rodolphus, “We can’t go back empty-handed”. 

“The Dark Lord knows there was a chance we would not succeed and a larger-scale operation would be needed. He will understand. Having been here will only increase our chances next time”. 

“I don’t like this,“ said Lucius, sounding anxious now, “Another failed mission”. 

“Not at all. It was always meant to be a scouting job, nothing more”, said Severus. 

“That’s not what he told me!” said Rodolphus. 

“The Dark Lord’s no idiot. He knew that it would be very hard to break through the PM’s defences, especially with the Aurors involved,” said Severus, “Listen, they are waiting outside these doors. If we don’t make sure we get safely out of here now, we will all be caught or dead”. 

Rodolphus and Lucius exchanged uncertain glances. Then Rolph scanned the kitchen as if he was hoping that his brother and the two other Death Eaters would jump out of the millenium cake and shout “surprise!” anyway, but nothing happened. Apart from themselves, the kitchen was deserted. 

“What do we do with those two?” Lucius asked with a nod at Mr Willis and Billie. 

“I’ll take care of them. You two make sure you escape,” said Severus. “Go. <i>Now</i>!”

The two Death Eaters didn’t need much conviction anymore, especially when the double doors burst open and the Aurors came in sight. In less than a second and before the first jinx hit them, the Death Eaters had disapparated, Severus had undone the Imperius charm on Mr Willis, grabbed Billie and disapparated himself. 

The next moment, Billie painfully hit her knees on the hard rocks of the Scottish Highlands and was instantly told to transform. In seconds, they were flying through the darkness towards the entrance of the tunnel that would lead them straight into Hogwarts.


	12. Part IV Chapter 12

12

(alternatively known as "The Battle of Hogwarts")

 

“Get inside,” whispered Severus as they emerged from behind the statue. Billie slipped through the familiar gap in his robes and hooked her little claws into the fabric of his shirt. Despite everything, it was fantastic to be so close to him again.

The gargoyle leapt aside as soon as it saw Severus approach and sealed the entrance to the staircase again as soon as he had passed. The castle was in a state of highest alert. 

“I do not know what is going to happen tonight,” Severus muttered as soon as he had closed the door to his office behind them, “It’s all right, Billie. You can transform again”. 

“Why? What do you think is going to happen?” asked Billie. 

“There is something in the air,” said Severus slowly, “I can feel it”. 

“Do you think he will want… revenge… for the failed assault?”

Severus sighed. “That is not likely. He did not seriously want to kill the Prime Minister today. Or at least, that was not his main focus – merely a bonus”. 

“But then, why did we bother? If it wasn’t even his intention to kill them?”

“Ah, but the intention was there. Only, he did not wish to bring all his forces into this task. At least not yet. Not until he had other things sorted out first”.

“Such as?”

Severus met her irritated glance. “Potter,” he said softly. 

Billie gasped.

“Come. You had better not stay in this room. You will be safer in my private quarters”. 

“So what’s going to happen now? Are my uncle and brother still in danger?”

“Yes, I am afraid they are,” said Severus as he pushed the bookcase aside and opened the door behind it, “But perhaps not immediately. The Dark Lord will receive a full report of today’s events and take the time to plan his attack and carry it out in due time”. 

“But that could be tomorrow”. 

“It could be tomorrow,” agreed Severus, “But that is highly unlikely. As it happens, the Dark Lord is travelling at the moment, in pursuit of more important … things. I am sure he has other worries on his mind”. 

“How do you know all this?” asked Billie. “Are you so close?”

Severus coolly let his eyes run over herface. “You know what my position is and how irrelevant your question is”. 

“Sorry,” muttered Billie. 

“And you should undo that hair dye, Billie,” he said, as he sealed the door behind them, “It does not become you”.

Billie shrugged. “It will fade in time. Or grow out, or whatever”.

“It can take ten years to grow out,” said Severus, a familiar hint of sarcasm in his voice, “There is a neutralising potion I could apply over it”.

“On muggle dye?” snorted Billie, “I don’t think so. Besides…” and then she cut herself short.

“Besides… why should I care? Is that what you wanted to say?”

Billie kept her lips firmly together. She wasn’t going to have this kind of conversation with him anymore. Not ever. 

Severus sighed. “Are you hungry?”

She shook her head.

He lowered himself on the window sill opposite her and crossed his arms over his chest. 

“What did you find when you were in my room last time?” he asked after a while. 

“What do you mean?”

“I am merely making sure that you are yourself, Billie,” he said, sounding a little exasperated. “You did find something on my night table, did you not?”

Billie looked down and nodded. 

“Well? What was it?”

“A photograph”, she muttered, “In the George Elliot novel”. 

“I know”. 

There was a long silence. Finally, it was Billie who spoke. 

“You probably think this is none of my business,” she said, looking him straight into the eyes “But how could you… or rather… “. 

She sighed. It was so difficult to express how she felt without embarrassing herself, or offending him. 

She took a moment to collect her thoughts and then decided to go for a straightforward approach. “You’re married, are you not? Or at least… that boy… is he your son?”. 

If she had slapped him as unexpectedly as she had thrown this question at him he couldn’t have been more hurt. He visibly gulped at this sudden blow, and Billie received a shock herself when she saw his face turn deadly pale and witnessed what a devestating effect her words had caused.

“S…sorry… I shouldn’t…”

Severus got to his feet and abruptly turned away from her towards the window.

An extremely long and painful silence fell.

Billie sank down on the chair at his desk, numb with shock, cursing herself heavily for her own stupidity. She buried her face in her heavily trembling hands, wishing more than anything in the world that she could undo the things she had said, but knowing that she had ruined everything. If Snape had ever felt the smallest grain of affection for her, it had now completely and irrevocably been destroyed.

She looked up and rested her eyes on his back. 

She had to apologise… of course… and then disappear out of his life forever, like he had asked her to do on several occasions already.

She got to her feet at exactly the same time as he turned around to face her again.

He was still ghostly white and shaken, but the fury had been replaced by a strange kind of resentment. 

“Severus… I’m sorry…”

But he lifted his hand to silence her. 

There was infinite sadness in the black eyes that rested on her. It suddenly dawned on her that she had seen that expression on his face before… a long time ago… in a remote little wizard village in which Dumbledore had been hiding for Umbridge, when Snape had been staring at the ruined house next door.Billie had a strong feeling that the house and the woman on the photograph were related.

She swallowed hard and waited.

“I do not have a wife, and I do not have a son,” he said softly. “I am not married, nor in a relationship and yet, I am not a free man”. 

There was a long silence during which he let the message sink in and tried his best to steady himself before he continued. 

“If you were worried about meeting her you can rest assured”. There was bitterness in his voice now. “She is not amongst us anymore”. 

The dark-blue eyes grew wide in horror. So she <i>had</i> been the one who had been killed in that house. Together with her boy, no doubt.

“God, Severus… “ Billie whispered, “I am so sorry…”

“So am I” he said curtly, “Well, now you know”.“I should not have asked you this, Severus. It wasn’t right”. 

“You could not know this. And if you promise not to tell anyone, ever, I will accept your apologies”. 

“Of course”. Another silence fell and then Billie got to her feet. “I think I’d better leave you now and go back to London”. 

“Your uncle and brother are all right”. 

“Not for a very long time probably. Anyway, thank you for getting me out of the Gallery”. 

Severus rose too. “You are welcome. I was not going to leave you behind”. 

“That’s kind of you, but the Death Eaters had already disapparated, and the Aurors knew I was on their side. I would have managed”. 

“I did not want to take any risks. Furthermore, I felt I still owed you an explanation”. 

Billie nodded. 

Having this polite conversation hurt her even more than the row they had just had or the news that he loved someone else. It didn’t feel right to behave so formally after all they had been through together, but she knew that it was more than she deserved now.

 

But before she could think of a more suitable way to say goodbye, they were both startled by a flash of silver light that suddenly appeared out of nowhere. 

The whole room was covered in the bright light of a silver goat, and Billie received a second shock when, out of the patronus’s mouth, a deep, not unfamiliar voice sounded. 

“Potter has arrived in Hogsmeade. He is on his way”. 

With a swish of his black robes, Severus turned away from her and hurried back to the sitting room. But there, he suddenly stopped dead in his tracks and clutched his left arm. 

“He knows!” He said to a bewildered Billie, “The Dark Lord knows Potter is here. He is coming”. 

“What? Here?”

He grabbed Billie by her shoulders. “You have to go, Billie. <i>Now</i>! This is probably going to be the end”. 

Something in the urgency of his voice and the look in his eyes, which couldn’t conceal a certain fear alarmed Billie. 

But with that, a strange determination descended over her. 

“I’m not going anywhere. I will stay with you”. 

“<i>No</i>! This is nothing like anything you have ever seen before. You may not survive this. Many people if not all of us may be killed”. 

“Then I will definitely not leave you,” The more insistent he sounded, the more she knew she had to stay. There was something sinister in the air. She knew that he was right and that Voldemort was on his way to kill. And the last thing she was going to do was disapparate and wait until it was all over. She couldn’t leave Severus behind. And however little she could do for Harry, she owed it to Severus to at least help him protect the boy.

“In that case, I will have to force you”. 

But before he had the chance to grab his wand and send a vanishing spell at her, she had transformed and hidden behind a biscuit tin that stood on top of an enormous bookcase. 

“Have it your way then,” Severus furiously shouted, “I have no time to waste on heroic idiots”. 

He swirled away from her, and Billie dived down and clawed herself into his robes as if her life depended on it. 

Severus was so eager to get out that he didn’t even notice the small bird that was hanging on his cloak. 

 

He sweeped through the silent corridors with a clear goal in mind. He had to get hold of Potter in the Ravenclaw tower before anyone else had the chance to meet him. 

But he knew that the chances of finding the boy alone were small. Potter probably had his little friends with him, perhaps even half of the school. 

His ears caught the sound of approaching footsteps, so he quickly hid behind a suit of armour. Now was not the moment to be seen. Besides, he was curious to see who was walking the corridors at this time of the night, especially since he could clearly distinguish two pairs of footsteps.

Very carefully, Billie stretched her bird’s neck so as to be able to peer into the corridor from behind Snape’s back. She held her breath when she saw Minerva McGonnagle appear, who, in turn, seemed to have heard Severus too because all of a sudden she stopped and shouted “Who’s there?”. 

“It is I” said Severus and Billie quickly ducked behind his back again as he stepped forward from behind the suit of armour.“Where are the Carrows?”

“Wherever you told them to be, I expect, Severus”, she heard McGonnagle snap.

Billie hooked her claws deeper into the fabric of his robes as he took a step closer to Minerva. 

“I was under the impression that Alecto had apprehended an intruder”. 

“Really?” said Professor McGonnagle, “And what gave you that impression?”

There was a short silence after which Billie heard Minerva snarl, “Oh, but of course. You Death Eaters have your own private means of communication, I forgot”. 

Severus took a few steps closer to her still. 

“I did not know it was your night to patrol the corridors, Minerva”. 

“You have some objection?”

“I wonder what could have brought you out of your bed at this late hour?”

‘I thought I heard a disturbance”. 

“Really? But all seems calm. Have you seen Harry Potter, Minerva, because if you have, I must insist-”

And then all sorts of things happened that Billie couldn’t quite understand. She heard the sound of spells, saw a flame somewhere, followed by a black, snakelike shape. If she hadn’t been in bird-form she would have squealed, but now, only a thin squeak escaped her beak. She was startled by the loud clanking of what sounded like knives digging themselves into the suit of armour Severus had summoned to protect them against Minerva’s attacks. 

Billie chirped in frustration. If only she could transform and shout at Minerva that Severus was innocent. If only <i>Severus</i> told her he was innocent. But he continued to fight McGonnagle as if she were the enemy and Billie could only hope that he had a good reason for doing so. So she didn’t dare to do anything but hold on to his cloak and pray they both survived. 

And then she heard Flitwick’s high voice calling McGonnagle’s name. There were more footsteps even. 

“No!” she heard the Charms professor shout, “You’ll do no more murder at Hogwarts!”. 

She was lucky she had dug her claws so deeply into the black robes to prevent her from falling off, because all of a sudden, Severus made a very funny movement and the next moment they were flying high up in the air. 

Billie hid herself into the folds of Severus’s billowing cloak as hundreds of glass particles flew around them when they burst through a window. 

“Coward!” she heard McGonnagle shout after them. “<i>COWARD!!! </i>“If she wasn’t so desperate to stay with Severus as he was fleeing towards the perimeter wall and safety, she would have flown back and picked the woman’s eyes out.  

 

Severus took them over the Hogwarts’ grounds towards Hogsmeade, but just before they reached the village, he started his descent and landed at the borders of the lake. There he stood panting for a little while, his eyes fixed on the illuminated windows of the castle.

Billie carefully scanned the surroundings but apart from the shrieking of a few nightbirds all was quiet. And so she decided it was safe to transform.

Severus immediately lifted his wand but she stopped him before he could jinx her. “It’s all right, Severus. It’s only me”. 

“What the devil are you still here for?” he snapped between gritted teeth. 

“I’ve told you. I’m not leaving you”, she said calmly, “And it looks as if you can need a little help”. 

“There is nothing you can do for me”. 

“There must be something,” she stubbornly said, “For one thing, why didn’t you reveal your true allegiance to McGonnagle?”

“That would have been of no use”. 

“She could have killed you”. 

“I was at least as quick as her”. 

“Not when Flitwick got involved”.

For a short moment, their eyes fought a silent war until Billie sighed and took a step closer to him so that she could lay her hand on his arm.“Severus, it’s me you’re talking to, remember?” He kept her gaze in silence. The light of the moon was reflected upon the rippling surface of the water, which cast a strange light on his already deadly pale face and the ink-black eyes. There was absolutely no expression to be read in there.

“What’s going to happen now?” Billie whispered as she tenderly let her fingers run over his arm, “What can I do?”

Finally, he gave up. 

“I do not know,” he muttered, “I expect the Dark Lord will now launch an attack on the castle, in an effort to capture Potter”.

“Why is he so eager to catch Harry? Is he really the Chosen One?”

Severus nodded. 

“But he’s alone. The Dark One, I mean”. 

“His followers will be here very soon. Hogwarts stands no chance against them”. 

The black eyes travelled away from her face and settled on a spot somewhere far away over the lake. For a long while neither spoke. 

“There is one thing you could do for me, Billie,” Severus finally said, “If you are willing to take a big risk, that is”. 

“Of course. Anything”. 

He looked back into her eyes and gently pushed away a strand of hair that the wind had blown into her face. The tenderness of the gesture made her swallow with difficulty and her heart swell with love. 

“Find Potter for me,” he whispered, “Tell him I am on his side but insist on his discretion. It is time I told him something”. 

“Should I bring him here?”

“I am not sure I will be here much longer. But if you can locate him for me I will try to seek him”.

“Is there anything I should tell him? It might be easier for me to pass a message than for you”. 

Severus shook his head. “Just make sure I can find him. That will do”. 

“And how will I find you back?”

“I do not know,” he sighed, “I will be searching for him myself. Or I might be in that delapidated building over there but I cannot tell for sure”. 

“Do you mean the Shrieking Shack?”

Severus nodded. 

The rippling shadows the reflected moonlight cast on his face couldn’t hide the anguish in his eyes. Billie moved a few inches closer to him so that their bodies touched. She lightly lay her arms around him. Severus instinctively closed his around her in response.

“I have a bad feeling about this night,” he said somewhere in her hair, “I am not sure…” but he couldn’t finish the sentence.  Billie’s eyes filled with tears. All the anger and frustration of the last hours were forgotten. She lay her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes. 

“Go now,” he whispered after a long while, “I urgently need to see Harry”.

He took his arms away from her and stepped back. From where they were standing he could hear some commotion coming from the castle and then, without any warning whatsoever, an ice-cold voice sounded from over the lake, apparently addressed to the students and professors at Hogwarts.

“<i>I know you are preparing to fight</i>”. 

Billie gasped and stared at Severus in shock. She saw her own fear mirrored in his eyes.

“<i>Your efforts are futile. You cannot fight me</i>”. 

“Go!” whispered Severus urgently over the sound of Voldemort’s voice, “Go now. You must find Potter before he does! Try the Ravenclaw tower”. 

Billie nodded. 

“Transform at once!”

“In a second” and before he could stop her she had taken his face into her hands and kissed him on the lips. 

“I love you”, she whispered through her tears, “P… Please be careful”. 

“Go now,” he repeated but his constricted throat made his words barely audible. And then, just as Billie was going to transform and fly away, he lay his hand on her shoulder to stop her.

“Wait, there is something you can tell Harry”.

“Wh… what?” she sniffed.

“Dumbledore was dying”.   

She brushed the tears from her eyes and looked up at him in wonder.

“We knew that he had beendying for over a year already. He had asked me to… help him when the end was near. And save Draco”.

His lips twisted into a sad smile.

“You had better tell him that. He might be inclided to believe you then. But to Potter <i>only.</i> Nobody else is to know which side I am on. Do you understand me?”. 

Despite the urgency of the situation, Billie couldn’t just leave like that. She threw her arms around Severus and held him very, very close.

“You poor thing”, she whispered, “They should have known that all along. Why haven’t you told anyone? Why am I not to tell anyone?”

“I have to prove my loyalty to the Dark Lord”.

“So that you could help us in the best way? Oh my dear, dear, dear Severus”, she sobbed, “They should thank you on both knees and instead you’re spat out like venom”. 

“Don’t pity me, Billie,” he lay his hands on her shoulders and gently but firmly pushed her away. “Noble as it may sound, my motives are not unselfish”. 

“<i>Give me Harry Potter and you will be rewarded. You have until midnight</i>”.

The cold voice cut through the silent night like a knife. 

“Go now,” Severus urged her, “Before he finds him”. 

Billie gave him one last kiss and transformed. 

In seconds, the little bird was out of sight and Severus was left alone in the night, at the border of the silent lake, feeling more isolated than ever before.

 

Flying back to the castle wasn’t an easy experience. For one thing, her eyesight was blurred due to the tears that hadn’t disappeared the moment she took on her bird form. Secondly, the sky was crowded with owls and other night birds that wouldn’t mind a small robin for supper. And she had no idea where to find Harry and if she found him and had the chance to speak to him alone, how to get him back to Severus whose whereabouts she wasn’t so sure about either. It seemed like an impossible task, but then again, Severus’s position was even more difficult. 

She kept herself sheltered by the leaves of the lower trees so as to escape both the birds of prey and prowling cats. But she was lucky. She safely reached the castle walls without meeting any of them. 

She followed the walls until she arrived at the main gate and there she received a tremendous shock. 

An army of hundreds of men, giants and other dodgy creatures was standing on the hilltop opposite the gates, ready to storm the castle as soon as the signal was given. Billie landed on a twig of ivy to have a look at them.The students would never survive the attack, she thought. Severus was right. Even if all the Aurors and Professors allied with each other against Voldemort’s army, they would be sweeped away in a flash. She couldn’t possibly believe that one man – or boy rather- could end this massacre. 

Harry… she had to find Harry. Severus needed him. 

She turned away from the gates and flew alongside the castle walls in search of a gap or any other opening that would allow her to slip into the building unnoticed. The moon had disappeared behind a cloud, which wasn’t helping her eyesight very much either, but then she saw the window through which Severus must have flown. There was still a huge hole where his wand and body had passed through the stained glass.

She couldn’t believe her luck. At great speed she flew up towards it, but then, just as she had reached the hole and was going to fly through it, she bumped against an invisible… thing… She had no idea what it was but it felt like rubber and she was ricocheted several meters back.

The castle was protected against intruders of course. How stupid she had been! McGonnagle wasn’t going to leave the door, or in this case window, wide-open for Voldemort to walk in. Billie doubted that the protection would really stop the Dark Lord if he wanted to get in but for a simple robin, it was quite effective. 

She continued her flight and came at a terrace on one of the lower turrets. Scared of being bounced back again, she landed on top of the wall that bordered the terrace and carefuly stuck her head out. Nothing happened, so she hopped a little further and when still nothing happened, she spread her wings and hopped onto the terrace floor.

She wasn’t exactly inside yet, but at least it was something. 

At the far end of the terrace was a heavy door that gave access to the inside of the tower. It was firmly closed, as she had expected it to be, but next to it was a very narrow opening, like an arrow loop. Billie carefully pushed her beak against the opening and felt that it was closed with glass. 

Disappointed, she hopped a little further-on where another piece of ivy grew against the wall and she flew into it. Then she clawed her way along the centuries-old stones in search of an opening of some sort, but apart from the places where the mortar had fallen off, the walls were intact. 

She flew down and was just about to take off in search of another place where she would hopefully be more lucky, when her eyes fell on a dark spot at one of the door edges. 

It looked as if mould or woodworms had unconsciously lent her a hand, for a small chunck of the wood had rotted away and that was all Billie needed to get inside. 

In seconds, she had passed through the hole and was flying down a narrow spiral staircase towards the noise that was filling the corridors and staircases everywhere.        

 

Finding Harry was like looking for a needle in a haystack. There was chaos everywhere. Everyone seemed to be looking for everyone. All students and staff seemed to be out of bed at this late hour. Some were crying; others stood whispering together; all had anxious faces.  

Billie saw a number of Slytherins take the lower stairs towards the dungeons and a few Ravenclaws file out of the Great Hall from where she heard McGonnagle’s authoritarian voice booming through the double doors. It looked as if the Transfiguration Professor hadn’t hesitated to take Snape’s place as Headmaster of Hogwarts. 

Billie wanted to fly into the great Hall but stopped when she saw Fred and George,  Lupin and Kingsley walk out of it. Now that she saw the latter two, she had a feeling that the buffet at the Tate happened a couple of months ago instead of just a couple of hours. She ducked behind a statue and transformed, but by the time she had re-emerged from behind it, the little party had split up. Kingsley and Lupin were climbing the stairs in opposite directions and she saw Fred and George disappear behind a corner to the left.

She started to squeeze and bump her way through the mass of students towards them. Fred was the only person who knew a little about Severus’s true allegiance and the Weasleys might know where their brother and his two friends were at this moment. “Fred!” she called, but her voice was drowned by the sounds of shouting students, ghosts and professors, the clanging of suits of armour who were marching through the corridors; the booming of the stairs who were frantically changing their position and the clattering of the closing shutters at all windows. 

She elbowed herself further along, desperately trying not to lose sight of either of the red heads ahead of her, wondering if she shouldn’t take on her bird form again but deciding against it when she saw Peeves zooming over her head, a vat of what seemed like burning oil dangling from his fat little fingers. 

Finally, when the mass of students became less dense, she managed to wriggle herself free and run towards the two brothers. 

“Fred! George! Wait a minute”, she panted. The twin brothers swirled around at the sound of her voice.  

“Billie!” exclaimed Fred, a wide grin on his face at the sight of her. “Have you received our message?”

“Your message?” asked Billie somewhat confused.

“From the DA. You know, the coins” said George.

“N… no, I don’t think so”, with all the things she had on her mind at present, she hardly remembered what the DA stood for, “Listen, Fred. Do you know where Harry is?”

“Harry?” asked Fred in surprise, “No idea. He’s run off in search of something”. 

“What do you need Harry for?” asked George. 

“I have to pass him a message. It’s important”. 

“A message from whom?” asked Fred. 

“Never mind,” she said impatiently, “Could he be in the Ravenclaw tower?”

“I think he mentioned the name,” said George, “but hang on. Who’s sending him a message?”

“We’re all in this together,” added Fred, “What’re you up to? Who sent you?”.

Billie sighed in frustration. “Do you remember our last conversation, Fred? The one in the back of your shop?”

Fred thought for a while and then his eyes grew wide in horror. “No!” he exclaimed, “No, Billie! No way! Not… <i>him</i>!”

“Who?” asked George, amazed that his brother seemed to know things that he didn’t. 

“S…”

“Never mind,” snapped Billie before Fred had the chance to speak.

“Snape!” Fred spat out anyway.

“Snape?!” exclaimed George incredulously. 

“You don’t understand,” said Billie exasperated, torn between the desire to tell them the truth and her promise to Severus, “Oh, never mind! I’m off to our common room”. 

“Over my dead body!” snapped Fred furiously but before he could hex her, Billie had transformed and dived behind the nearest tapestry, where one of the shortcuts was hidden. She heard Fred and George call after her and some shuffling at the corridor’s entrance but the bird was far too quick and agile to be caught up with, and with all the bends and twists the passage-way made, she was out of reach of the brothers’ wands in seconds.

 

The Ravenclaw Tower. She should have gone to it straight away. But what was it that Harry was looking for in there? They had nothing she could think of that could be of any interest to a Gryffindor, or a battle against Voldemort. 

She suddenly thought about the scene at the lake in the Forest of Dean; the locket that had seemed to contain some dark ghost. Was that the kind of thing Harry was hoping to find in their common room? But surely they couldn’t have had such an evil object sitting on the bookshelves or in some cabinet amongst all those students? 

She had come at the end of the passage way that was blocked by what looked like another tapestry. She transformed, waited a few seconds to make sure nobody was waiting at the other side of it and carefully pushed it away to peer outside. 

She was in a deserted corridor but she had no idea at which side of the castle. She heard some buzzing in the distance, and the thumping sounds of closing doors. Where she was standing, however, a heavy silence was pressing on her.

She looked right and left, lit her wand to have a better look but still had no idea where she had ended up, and so she decided to transform again and follow the distant sounds.

When her eyes fell on the painting of Themonius the Tipsy Templer a few yards ahead of her, she realised that she was probably as far away from Ravenclaw Tower as one could possibly be in Hogwarts. 

She gritted her beak in frustration. Voldemort had given them until midnight and she estimated that at least half of their time had already run out, if not all of it.

Her fear was confirmed when she was startled by a jet of red light that burst through a window at a few paces from her and smashed a still life that was hanging on the wall opposite it. Pieces of apple, pear and grape flew about and Billie could only just avoid being swept away by a splash of berry juice. 

The attack on Hogwarts had begun. Midnight had come.

She sped up the spiral staircase of Ravenclaw tower as fast as her wings permitted it, transformed and knocked on the door. 

“What came first? The dragon or the egg?”

“A circle has no end nor a beginning,” shouted Billie impatiently as splinters of glass dropped on her from a smashed window, “You’ve asked me that twice before!”.

The door swung open and the strangest of scenes met her eyes. 

 

The common room was deserted, apart from a small group of people who stood huddled together near Rowena Ravenclaw’s portrait, and who started heavily when Billie came bursting through the entrance. 

But Billie’s attention was focused on something that was hanging high up in the air. Her face twisted in hatred as she realised that she was staring up at the figures of her two aggressors, who were tied up like sausages but with the wickedness still reflected on their faces.

“Finally in the right place, are we,” Billie snarled and then she haughtily turned away from them to address the students. 

“Where’s Harry Potter?” she asked them, “Have you seen him?”

“He was here some time ago,” said Orla Quirke, a girl who had to be in her fifth year now, “He attacked those two”. 

“When was that?” asked Billie, “And where is he now?”

“It happened about an hour ago”, said a boy she recognised as a first year when she had graduated, “I’ve no idea where he is now”. 

Billie sighed deeply, very close to despair now. It was too late. All would be lost. The Death Eaters were marching up to the castle. People would shortly be killed. One of them could very well be Harry or if the boy still lived, he would probably hand himself over in a few minutes, knowing that the longer he waited, the more people would be killed on his behalf. 

She angrily pushed the tears away and rushed to the door again. “You’d better save yourselves,” she sniffed just before she closed the door behind her, “Try to get away. The castle isn’t safe anymore”. 

And with that she left and transformed again. 

 

She had no idea where to look for Harry now. And she was risking her life with every flutter her wings made. Pieces of brick, glass and other stuff were flying everywhere as the Death Eaters’ jinxes hit the castle walls or any objects inside it. Billie heard screams; saw students hide behind statues and pillars and inhabitants of the portraits jogging alongside of her in an effort to save themselves. Strange creatures were roaring outside, too close to the scattered windows. 

In minutes, Voldemort’s army would enter and then all would be lost. If it wasn’t lost already. 

She fought against the panic that was rising up inside her. She was at the second or third floor now – she had lost count- and everywhere she looked, objects were flying; people were shielding themselves, sending jinxes back. To her horror, she saw something black and hairy wriggling its way through one of the scattered windows. It looked like a giant spider leg. 

She looked around her in panic, ready to transform and attack the creature, but a group of students were already spurting towards it and sent several hexes at it. The creature retreated instantly. 

It was no use. Even if she found Harry in this chaos she doubted he would have the time for a chat. For a split second she asked herself if Severus hadn’t sent her after him just to get her out of the way. But then she heard his urgent voice and saw the anxious look in his eyes again and knew that it couldn’t be true. She had to find Harry. She had to bring him to Severus. She didn’t even consider the possibility that Severus would find him first. Or Voldemort.

 

Somewhere ahead of her she saw two people duelling, and her heart sank even lower. They had come. They had managed to enter the castle. And they were now fighting innocent students and professors.

She turned a corner where she saw Arthur Weasley duelling a tall, vicious-looking man. She dived behind a half-scattered statue, transformed and shot a stunning spell straight at the Death Eater’s face. That, together with the killing curse Arthur sent at the same time, finished the man off. Billie gasped when she saw the jet of green light flash from his wand, but she realised that this was a battle of life and death. There wasn’t time for pity anymore.

She was just about to rush towards them when two other Death Eaters emerged from nowhere and Arthur had his hands full again fighting them off. Billie couldn’t bring herself to killing either of them but sent another set of stunning spells at the men. One of them caught the hunchbacked one, but her spells had drawn the attention of the other Death Eater towards her and as he turned to face her and attack her, Arthur shot forwards and killed him.

“Billie!,” he exclaimed, but before he could say anything else, Kingsley had appeared at his side.

“Quick, Arthur, this wing’s lost!” he panted, “We need to seal the rest off”.

And both men had dashed off before Billie had had the chance to say a word. She transformed just in time to avoid a huge chunk of wood that came thundering down from the ceiling as a giant smashed his club through the castle wall. She escaped through a gap opposite, an entry to another secret passage that took her down towards the Entrance Hall.

And then she saw him. 

Amidst a collection of crumbled pieces of statues, chunks of wood from the double doors and in the midst of a murderous fight between two giants, one half the size of the other, stood Harry, together with Ron and Hermione, shouting his lungs out after Hagrid who seemed to have disappeared in a mess of gigantic spiders. 

Billie sped towards them but she had barely come a foot closer to them when a stone jar burst into thousands of tiny pieces, one of which caught the bird in her temple. 

She lost consciousness and whirled down like a leaf from a tree, but not before she had seen Harry leap through the remains of the entrance doors and dash towards the lake; Hermione and Ron on his heels.

 

She awoke in human form, on a huge pile of debris and shattered glass which was all that remained of the once so magnificent Entrance Hall. She straightened but everything was swimming before her eyes, as if she had spent a night on galleons of mead.

She took a while to steady herself, felt blood trickle down her face, pushed aside the strands of hair that were sticking into it and got to her feet. She staggered but managed to steady herself, and looked around. 

The Hall was deserted now. The wrestling giants seemed to have disappeared and so had the spiders… as well as Harry. 

Harry!

She took on her bird form again, which wasn’t so easy in her weakened state, and sped through the doors into the cool night air. She had no idea how much time she had lost. She hoped it had only been a few minutes and that she still had a chance to catch up with the running trio, but her spirits were low. 

She passed over the spot where she had left Severus and noticed he wasn’t there anymore. Nor was Harry. She heard no sounds of running footsteps, saw no shades of people escaping into the night. There weren’t even any nightbirds or other animals around. A suffocating silence had settled down over this part of the grounds like a blanket, but from a not too great distance came the booming of the ongoing battle. 

And then she caught sight of a light ahead of her, in a building Severus had pointed out to her. 

The Shrieking Shack! 

Severus had told her he would be there. Harry had probably been speeding towards it. Could it be…?

 

She landed on the window sill, careful not to step into the torchlight that was falling from within. 

Half of the window was blocked by an obstacle of some sort and she had to shuffle a little further towards the light to be able to peer inside. 

Severus stood there, looking up at her. She gasped when she caught his stare but then noticed that his eyes were not resting on the window and the tiny bird behind it, but on the shape that was half blocking her view. She looked up at it and received another shock when she realised that it was a sort of cage that was hanging there, in which an enormous snake sat coiling and swirling. 

Then, as the light on the window sill shifted a little, she became aware of another person in the room, someone of whom she could only see one sleeve of his black cloak and a white, bony hand that was holding a wand. 

She gasped. 

She had to get in. She had to hear what Voldemort, because she was sure it was he, was discussing with Severus. 

She flew up and the sudden movement caught the corner of Snape’s eye as he stood staring ahead of him, but she wasn’t aware of that. Instead, she was diving down towards a lower floor where she pushed herself through the remains of a boarded-up window. She didn’t dare to transform as she hopped along the battered banister, following the sound of voices above her. A beam of yellow light was falling through a crack in the wall and very cautiously, Billie hopped onto the floor and peered through it. 

But she could hardly see a thing in this position. She looked up and saw a chunk of smashed doorpost dangling from the door next to her. It would give her a perfect lookout. 

So not trusting the sound of her wings, she hopped onto the scattered fragments of a mirror that were heaped up against the wall and from there, made it to the piece of wood.

The first thing she saw were the horrible red eyes in the ghastly, snakelike face of Lord Voldemort. If she had been human, she would have gasped in shock. Something in the man – or rather the creature’s - appearance told her that this was a far greater danger to the wizarding world than she had ever believed him to be. He looked like the personification of…  evil, madness, hell, horror itself. 

And that voice… ! 

She had never heard such a revolting, cold sound being produced by a living creature in her life. How was it possible that such a … <i>thing </i> could have followers? How was it possible for Severus to bear the mere proximity of this nightmare?

Voldemort wasn’t facing her directly, fortunately. He was staring at Severus who had his back towards her, not five inches from where she was standing. Severus still seemed to have his eyes on the caged snake opposite him, while Voldemort was pacing the room up and down, impatiently tapping his wand with his free hand. 

“The Elder Wand cannot serve me properly, Severus, because I am not its true master. The Elder Wand belongs to the wizard who killed its last owner. You killed Albus Dumbledore. While you live, Severus, the Elder Wand cannot truly be mine”. 

Billie received a tremendous shock as she realised what it was the Dark Lord was saying. 

“My Lord!” she heard Severus whisper in protest.

“It cannot be any other way”, said Voldemort, “I must master the wand, Severus. Master the wand and I master Potter at last”. 

And then, to her horror, she saw the cage with the snake roll towards them and sink over Severus’s head and shoulders, while Voldemort hissed something at it. 

“<i>No</i>!!” she was yelling, from the top of her lungs, but not more than a sad chirp came out that went completely lost in the sound of Snape’s scream.

She hopped to the floor and transformed. 

Only… 

She did<i> not </i>transform! 

She was still a bird after she had silently spoken the spell. 

She tried again, furiously hopping up and down in frustration as it failed again, and again, and another time. Meanwhile, Voldemort had disappeared in a swirl of black robes and taken his monster with him but then, as she was concentrating on the spell again, she caught sight of a sudden movement in the light that was falling through the gap. She turned and saw several feet rushing into the room towards where Severus lay dying. 

She flew up again to have a better look. To her astonishment, she saw Harry, Ron and Hermione kneeling down beside his body. She wanted to rush into the room too, but something stopped her; something kept her frozen to the doorsill as she tried to slip through the gap, as if an invisible hand was pushing her back.

She could only sit still and look, subject to the most extreme emotions a robin could feel, unable to take her human form and do something useful. 

She couldn’t see Severus’s face but she knew the worst thing was happening. And then that horrible, high-pitched voice sounded again but Billie couldn’t care less what the ruthless murderer had to say. The only words that seemed to penetrate her mind were “<i>One hour</i>”. 

Another deadline. 

And then, as she saw Harry straighten up and leave the room with his two friends, she realised Severus’s boot wasn’t moving anymore and another suffocating panic took possession of her. She jumped down the doorpost again, completely unnecessarily spoke the words to undo her transformation and was suddenly human again anyway. The spell that had previously prevented her from transforming  had evaporated in thin air as its owner was passing away.

She burst through the door and threw herself down on the floor next to the lifeless body. 

His eyes were closed. His face was paler than she had ever seen before. He was lying in a puddle of blood that was being formed from the snake’s bites in his neck. 

“No! Severus, no!,” she cried. Her fingers automatically shot towards the wounds, in an effort to stop the bleeding, but it was no use. 

She looked around in panic. “We need help here!” she cried. She knew that it was a waste of energy; that Harry was probably out of earshot already; that the snake’s venom had already reached Severus’s vital organs, but she kept repeating herself, her scream drowned in her tears. “Dumbledore, please! Please help him!”. 

Where that suddenly came from she would never know. All that she remembered from that moment afterwards was the enormous flash of golden light, a few seconds of pure terror as she felt herself torn away from the ground, and the next moment she was dropped down again.


	13. Part IV Chapter 13

13

 

She landed rather painfully on a stone floor, in a room that was so brightly lit that it blinded her for several long seconds. 

Then, as shapes started to appear in her vision, she understood that she was lying eaglespread in the middle of a hospital emergency room.

 

Billie scrambled to her feet, grabbed the first thing she could lay her hands on to steady herself when a sudden dizziness came up, and looked around. 

In the middle of the brightly-lit room stood a high hospital bed on which Severus was lying in a mass of dirty black robes. The view on his face was obstructed by the large, golden bird that sat on his chest, dripping large, silver tears onto his neck. But there were other wounds too, on his side for example, where the robes were torn, and the phoenix couldn’t treat those at the same time. 

There were voices in the corridor. Whoever they were had to come in and help him. 

Billie took a deep breath, gulped the last of her nausea away and rushed to the door. 

The hospital seemed quite busy. Beds were being rolled in and out of rooms; heavily bandaged people were sitting on chairs or on beds or stood leaning against the walls while the nurses fed them potions in all colours of the rainbow. Anxious relatives were pacing the hall beyond, in vain trying to stop the various members of staff who were rushing past them. 

Billie spotted two healers at the far end of the corridor, a small, grey-haired one with a pointed beard and a younger one who was wearing horn-rimmed spectacles that were covering half his face. They were having a hushed conversation. 

Billie dashed towards them, completely unaware of the nightmarish look she had, with the tears that were still wetting her cheeks and the bloody streaks all over her face.

“Please, sir!” she practically shouted at the first one who looked up at her, “Someone is dying! In that room over there. Can you please come? Both of you!”.

The smaller, bearded Healer raised one eyebrow. “More than one person is dying at this moment, Mrs…?”

But she didn’t bother to give him her name. Instead, she grabbed his white robes with both hands, which immediately left dark-red prints on the previously spotless uniform. “You<i> must </i>come with me! You must! NOW! The phoenix can’t handle him alone”. 

“<i>Phoenix?” </i>exclaimed the younger one in wonder, “Was someone brought in by a phoenix?”

But Billie’s patience, or the minuscule bit that was still left, had completely dried up now, and before anyone could stop her, she had taken out her wand and was pointing it at them with a murderous look on her face. 

“Save him! <i>Now!</i>” she ordered them through clenched teeth. 

A strange calm had descended over her. If they didn’t obey, she was going to imperius them into doing it, even if she had no idea how to do such a thing...

The Healer whose robes she had now released rose his hands in surrender, a frustrated look on his face. The combination of a deathly weapon in the hands of what was clearly a lunatic was no laughing matter. The other one scanned the corridor hoping someone could come to their help and snatch the woman away from them but all staff members had their hands full with their own business. 

Billie poked him in the ribs, and that made him realise there was no alternative than to do as she had told them, and so he shrugged and, together with his colleague, led the way to the room she had indicated. 

 

As soon as he saw them enter, Fawkes spread his wings and disappeared in a flash of gold. But the sight of the golden bird had been enough to awaken something in both Healers. 

They hurried towards the man on the bed, a look of deepest concern on their faces now and took out their wands. For a few horrible seconds or minutes neither spoke as they examined the broken body in the blooded robes. 

Billie sank into the only chair the room counted, suddenly drained of the energy and determination she had previously displayed. 

Then, the smaller Healer with the stains on his robes looked up from Severus’s side he had been examining. 

“It’s too late”, he said. “Your husband passed away several minutes ago”

Billie immediately leapt to her feet. “It can’t be!” she shouted, her voice shrill with panic, “The phoenix would never have brought him here if there hadn’t been any hope. You must bring him back! You <i>must!</i>”

“The phoenix has healed the arterial wounds,” explained the younger Healer, who had been inspecting the injuries in Severus’s neck,” But it hasn’t undone the damage done to his vital organs”. 

“Which organs?” snapped Billie, “Which ones are injured?”

“The fangs that caused this were poisonous. His heart has failed as a result of this”. 

“Well then get it going! For God’s sake, you do have machines for that, don’t you?”

The older Healer was staring at her as if she had completely gone mad, but his younger colleague, who now had his wand pointed at Snape’s chest, shook his head.

“We don’t need a machine for that. I am now setting it in motion,” he explained quietly, “Which is not going to change his condition a lot, on the contrary. You see, in revitalising the blood circulation, the poison will be spreading out”. 

“The kidneys are most affected,” muttered the other Healer who had turned his attention to the side wounds. “Or one of them at least”.

“Give him one of mine then!” snapped Billie, “Muggles do it loads of times!”.

Then, the younger one flicked his wand and a face suddenly appeared in mid-air. It was floating in front of him, transparent and silverish like a ghost’s. It wasn’t even clear whether the face was a man’s or a woman’s.

“Hand me the chelydrus antidote. And bring a bottle of Denicalis”.“I think we need our… <i>device</i>“ said the grey-haired Healer quietly. 

Both his colleague and the ghostlike face gasped. “We can’t…!” whispered the face, “It’s forbidden. Besides, he’s one of <i>them</i>,”. 

The younger Healer looked back at white mask on the bed. 

“So he is…” he muttered, his face hardening. 

“Never mind who he is!” snapped Billie, “You don’t understand anyway. You must save him! And I don’t care what it takes to do that”. 

“Sorry,” said the Healer, pushing his hirn-rimmed glasses a little further up his nose, ”It’s too late”. 

“You don’t understand!” Billie continued, really panicking now, “I’m muggle-born. Do you think I’d go to such lengths if he really <i>was </i>a Death Eater!”

The Healers exchanged uncertain glances. 

“The phoenix was Dumbledore’s” Billie continued, “It would never have come if he hadn’t been on our side! You must believe me!”. 

That seemed to do the trick. The younger one nodded curtly, and the bearded Healer didn’t need long to make up his mind either. 

He stepped back from the body. 

“Very well, then,” he said in a determined voice, “But you must leave this room. We can’t do what we have to do in your presence”. 

“I don’t trust you!” said Billie, “I’m not leaving him”. 

“You must!” insisted the Healer. “If you want us to… bring back this man you have to trust us and leave”. 

“Staying here much longer is signing his death certificate,” added the younger Healer, not unfriendly, “We’re losing precious time. If we wait two minutes more even our… our <i>device </i>will have lost its effect”. 

Billie’s eyes travelled from one man to the other and to the ghostlike face underneath which two pale hands had appeared, each holding a bottle. 

Then she nodded and turned to leave. 

But just before she closed the door behind her, she shot one desperate glance back at the lifeless body on the table. There was nothing left for her to do. She had given everything. Severus’s life lay in their hands now – if a life he still had. 

 

She shuffled unseeingly through the long corridor, oblivious to the increased commotion and many voices that were filling the hospital ward everywhere. The corridor opened into a large reception area that was swarming with all sorts of people: injured patients, desperate relatives, crying children… 

As opposed to how she would normally feel, Billie wasn’t in the least affected by the sadness of the scene, the helplesness of it all, the heartbreaking sobs of the injured little ones. In fact, she wasn’t even aware of them. Instead, she sank onto one of the rickety chairs at the wall, her thoughts completely absorbed by the things that were happening in the room she had just left. Not one of the words that were being spoken in the area managed to find its way to her paralysed brain. 

Therefore, it took a while before she registered the urgent voice that was calling her name. 

“Billie! <i>Billie!</i>”

She looked up and stared straight into the battered face of her oldest friend. 

“Emily?” she whispered incredulously, as if she was coming out of a dream.

“My God, Billie! What happened to <i>you</i>?” said Emily as she sat down on the chair next to her, her eyes taking in every single, horrific detail of her friend’s otherwise so pretty face. “And your <i>hair!</i> What on earth did you do <i>that</i> for?”

The familiar voice gradually brought some life back into Billie. 

“What are you doing here?” she whispered in return, “You look horrible yourself”. 

“Geoff’s been brought in from Hogwarts,” replied Emily in a constricted voice. And it wasn’t until then that Billie saw the tears in her eyes. “He’s in a bad way. Attacked by a werewolf”. 

“What? At Hogwarts?” muttered Billie. 

“There’s been a battle. You-know-who attacked us there”. 

“The battle… “ Billie had completely forgotten about it in all the misery Voldemort’s attack on Severus had caused. It felt as if her search for Harry in the besieged castle earlier that evening had happened at least a week ago. “Were you there?”

“You too?” asked Emily, “I had no idea!”. And she sighed. “Loads of people were there. I can’t even remember very well who I have and have not seen”.Billie nodded. “And Geoff was attacked?”

“We were all fighting, but Geoff was no match against the werewolf. A horrible creature. He fed on all the fallen students he met on his way”. 

“Poor Geoff,” said Billie. She had always liked Emily’s brother, a quiet, somewhat clumsy boy whose arms and legs seemed a little too long to be handy. He had to be in his sixth year now. Or was it his seventh? She had even forgotten what time of the schoolyear they were in. Or was it the summer holidays already?

“Mum and dad are on their way,” said Emily, “I hope we’ll have some news by then”. 

“And how did it end?” asked Billie, “the battle I mean?”

“I don’t know,” said Emily, “The fighting was still going on when I found Geoff. By that time, the castle was so damaged that all the enchantments had disappeared. That’s how I managed to disapparate with him”. 

“So for all we know, all is lost,” whispered Billie. 

Emily nodded. 

Both girls fell silent then. They sat next to each other for a little while, each wrapped up in their own thoughts. And then it dawned on Emily that Billie had to have a reason for her presence at the hospital too. 

“What are you doing here?” she asked, “Shouldn’t you be looked after?”

Billie shook her head. “I’m all right”. 

“You don’t look all right”, remarked Emily. “You’re covered in blood”. 

“It’s not my blood,” said Billie. 

“Whose is it then?” asked Emily, “Someone who was hurt at Hogwarts?”

“Sort of,” said Billie, and all of a sudden, she felt an urgent need to share everything with her best friend. It was such a heavy burden to carry alone. She had to confide in someone. 

She cast a muffliato spell.

“Severus is here,” she whispered, “He’s… he’s dying”. 

“What?” whispered Emily incredulously. 

“The Dark One killed him. Or his snake, rather…” 

“I don’t understand. How come…?”

“He’s on our side, Emily. Always been. And I was there… when it… when it happened”. 

She grabbed both her friend’s hands. “You have to believe me. Noone does, but you really have to”. The tears were freely flowing from her eyes again. 

“It’s all right,” said Emily, marvelling at the enormous distress she read on her friend’s face, “It doesn’t matter. Is he… is he going to be all right?”. Billie shook her head, and Emily put a comforting arm around the girl’s shoulders. She had no idea why Billie thought Snape was innocent, but with all this misery surrounding them, with her own brother fighting for his life somewhere in a room, and all these people killed in the castle, it really didn’t matter whose side the victims were on. Grief and loss were the same for both parties. 

Strange how the past events had made her realise that. 

And then, interrupted by many sobs and hiccups, Billie told her everything; about the Carrows’ attack on her and how Severus had saved her from them and taken care of her; about the sword he had passed on to Harry; about the attack that was planned on her uncle and brother and how Severus had taken one of the Death Eaters’ form and helped her escape; about his distress when he heard Voldemort had arrived at the castle and finally… the snake’s lethal attack. 

Emily sat listening in silence but with increasing incredulity. All around them, people kept coming and going but both girls were hardly aware of them. 

 

“And why did you dye your hair and are you wearing these funny clothes?”

“Because I was disguised during the millenium party. I was replacing a Spanish lady”.

“Oh I see”.

Then the girls fell back into a gloomy silence, and very gradually they started to listen in on some conversations around them. 

So many injured were brought in that this part of the hospital couldn’t cope with them anymore. Billie recognised several students. Then she heard the receptionist make arrangements with the Artefact Accident-department. Both the Creature-Induced Injuries and Potions and Plants-poisoning wards were fully-booked. 

“I wonder how everyone else is coping,” muttered Billie after a while. She met Emily’s questioning look. “At Hogwarts, I mean. The Weasleys… the Aurors… Harry… Are any of them still alive?”

“Don’t …,” said Emily, “We mustn’t lose hope. They’ll be fine. They… they have to”.

But they both knew that these were empty words. If even Severus hadn’t been a match for Voldemort how could anyone else…? 

“Billie,” Emily whispered suddenly, “Isn’t that Rita Skeeter from the Daily Prophet over there?”. 

Billie followed her friend’s gaze. Sure enough, at the reception desk, one arm casually leaning on its counter, stood a short, blonde woman, dressed in poisonuous-green robes and snake-skin boots. Billie had only seen her once or twice but she had no trouble recognising the woman at once.

“What is she doing here?” she whispered. 

“Seeking juicy news items, no doubt,” said Emily bitterly, “She must have heard about the battle”.

“She mustn’t hear about Severus,” Billie whispered, “I… I won’t have it”. 

“Nor about Geoff,” agreed Emily, “Bet she’d love to sink her teeth into his story too”. She looked back at Billie. “Have you registered him already?”

“No. You?”

Emily shook her head. 

“So she can’t know yet,” said Billie. 

“I think the hospitall staff are bound by confidentiality anyway,” said Emily, “Still, I know that she has her own ways of manipulating people and retrieving the information she needs”. 

As if someone had overheard their conversation, a nurse suddenly appeared at their side, carrying a clipboard and a pen.

“And who are <i>you</i> waiting for, ladies?” she asked. 

From the corner of her eye, Billie saw a blonde head turn towards them. Having been unable to retrieve a few names from the receptionist, Rita Skeeter was clearly hoping to get them in a different way. Billie regretted having undone the muffliato spell.

“I’m… waiting for Peter Matthews,” she blurted out. 

“Injury?” asked the nurse.

“Snake bites”. She didn’t think the injury would be spectacular enough to make it to the Daily Prophet’s front page, and she was right. Rita Skeeter’s face dropped in disappointment. 

“Peter Matthews…” said the nurse suddenly, “You do know that we must not handle any muggle-borns?”. 

“He’s not muggle-born,” snapped Billie, “And besides. Where does that rule suddenly come from?”  She had successfully been treated at the hospital herself in her fourth year, after a bubotuber had caused a tremendous allergic reaction with her.

“New Ministry instructions”. 

“You have a duty to handle all sorts of patients, no matter what their origin, beliefs or background is”.

The nurse fixed her with a highly disapproving stare. “What our duties are or should be is of no concern to you,” she said coldly, “Now what is he: muggle-born or not?”

“Half-blood”, snapped Billie through gritted teeth, “His mother was a witch. Ask the Healers who are treating him. They know him”. 

She hated to do this. She would much rather have pretended Severus was muggle-born indeed and defended him as such, but she was terrified they would send him away then. And where would the benefit be in that?

“Very well,” said the nurse curtly, “And who are <i>you</i> waiting for?”

“Geoff Wildsmith”, said Emily, “And he received a double leg-locking curse”, she added hastily. 

There was little news-breaking about that type of spell too, so Rita Skeeter turned away from the girls so abruptly that her swirling robes lit up like a flash of fluorescent green light. 

The nurse frowned. “I can’t recall having seen such an injury”. 

“The ward’s quite full, isn’t it,” said Emily curtly, “I suppose you can’t have seen them all”. 

The nurse eyed her with unconcealed suspicion but there was little she could bring up against that statement. St Mungo’s had indeed turned into a madhouse, and at this point, which was about four hours after the time she was normally supposed to have finished her shift, she was well beyond caring already. 

She let a deep sigh, scribbled something on her clipboard and moved over to the next patient without another glance at either of the girls. 

 

“Take the maximum, Roger,” said the younger Healer to his colleague. 

“Not sure ten minutes will be enough for this one,” said Roger with a sceptical glance at Snape’s lifeless body. “What do you think?”

“It’s all it can take, so it will have to do,” shrugged the other one. 

Roger took out the miniature time-turner he was wearing underneath his robes and the next moment, images started to flash before their eyes as he was taking them back in time.

When the flashing stopped, they were looking down at the same body again, but this time with the phoenix sitting on it.

“Freeze the image, Bert,” said Roger, “And detach it”. 

Bert shot a glance at the girl who was lying on the ground. She was stirring. In less than a few seconds, she would have recovered from her fall and stand up. 

For a moment, it was as if the Healers had been drinking too much, as the image of the phoenix, the bed and the body shimmered and duplicated itself, but then one half slowly started to float closer to where the girl was lying, while the other one, the real person, bed and bird shot towards the far end of the room where a wall burst open as soon as the bed touched its surface. Fawkes disappeared in a flash. Both Healers jumped through the gap as the bed rolled through it and the wall closed behind them. 

 

They were now in a much bigger room, where several healers and nurses looked up when they burst in. 

“Nurse Waffley, quickly, give him oxygene,” shouted Roger, as he was sending impulses straight into Severus’s heart. “Montesque, cut that kidney short. Bert, you inject the antidote straight into his liver. Nurse Swivelly, shoot some adrenalin into the artery”. 

“Where?,” asked the relatively inexperienced Swivelly.

“As close to the heart as you can,” said Roger. “Take a full dose”. 

The whole team immediately sprang into action. As he was forcing the heart in motion, Roger’s eyes met Bert’s. 

“I hope we’re doing the right thing,” he muttered, “He is, after all, his Number Two”. 

Bert nodded. He had been thinking exactly the same thing. Even if Healers were supposed to help anyone, no matter who or what they were, they were still human beings, and Bert had just lost a very dear muggle-friend and her family. He was therefore not very eager to save a Death Eater, especially one so close to Voldemort. They only had the girl’s word for it that Snape was on the right side. And she hadn’t exactly given them a mentally stable impression.


	14. Part IV - Chapter 14

14

 

Those eyes… those green eyes… her eyes… and her face.

Severus frowned. 

All of a sudden, the room in the shrieking shack was very brightly lit, so brightly that he could hardly see anything else but the white light. In fact, it looked as if there was nothing else in the room than the white light in the first place.

And the pale face that was looking down on him. 

He pushed himself into a sitting position and blinked. 

It wasn’t Potter who was kneeling down beside him. It really was her. 

“Lily?” he whispered. 

He had addressed her like this in his dreams many times before and every time, he had awakened before she had had the chance to reply. 

But not this time. This time her image remained and Severus did not wake up. 

For a long while neither spoke. Severus sat drinking in her image, terrified to see it vanish in thin air as it always did in the end, and therefore not daring to speak. 

There was sadness in the green eyes that were locked with his. 

She got to her feet and Severus automatically followed her example. He did not feel any pain anymore. In fact, he didn’t care if he did or not. All that mattered was the woman standing at a mere step from him, the love he had been waiting for during all these sad, lonely years. 

“Thank you, Severus”, she finally said and looked down at the fingers she had crossed in front of her. “You have gone to extremes for Harry”.“It was all done for you” he muttered

She lifted her eyes up to him again. “Is that so, Severus?”

“Naturally,” he said, somewhat nettled, “You should know that”.

“I have been… gone for such a long time already”. 

“Does that make any difference at all?” He sounded cool now, “Since when has time had any influence on true love?”

She sighed. “Sorry. You’re probably right”. She paused, taking some time to recollect her thoughts. Meanwhile, the black eyes were running over every inch of her beautiful face as if he was scared he might overlook some tiny detail in it. 

“Why exactly have you come here, Severus?” . 

He lifted one black eyebrow in mild mockery. “I was under the impression that I did not have a choice. As it happens, I was killed”. 

“You do have a choice still”. 

“Well in that case the choice is easily made. I will stay here”. 

“Here is nowhere,” said Lily. 

“It is where you are”. 

“I am not here. I am nowhere”. 

“Then that is where I would like to be too”. 

She shook her head “That is not a good idea”. 

“What do you mean?” He was losing his patience with her now, and without warning he bridged the distance between them with one step and grabbed… through thin air. 

“You can’t touch me,” she explained, “You see, I don’t live, Severus. None of us is alive”. 

“I am talking to you”. 

“That doesn’t mean that I’m alive. I’m… present. In nothingness”. 

“Having you present in nothingness will do for me”. 

“But you don’t understand,” she patiently continued, “You will not be with me. Noone is. Even James isn’t. We are no part of your world”. 

“My world is the same as yours now”. 

Lily shook her head again. “No, it isn’t”. 

“Well, then it will quickly have to be”. 

Lily sighed again. “Why are you so obsessed with me, Severus? No, don’t interrupt me”, she added when she saw his lips parting in protest. She wanted to lay a hand on his arm to compensate a little for the harsh words she was going to say, but her hand passed straight through him. 

“You see”, she said with a sad smile, “I can’t touch you either”. 

She folded her hands together again and looked him straight into the eyes. 

“Do you know what’s happening at this very moment, Severus?”

He shook his head. 

“At this very moment, “ she resumed, “a girl is crying her eyes out over you. She would have killed if the healers hadn’t immediately jumped at your aid. In fact, I’m not sure she may not do it anyway, should they fail”. 

“Billie Matthews isn’t you”, he said impatiently.

“Why do you so obsessively try to hold on to me when I have never truly loved you?” Lily continued, ignoring his last remark, “Not in any way that she does.There is nothing I can give you here. There was never anything I could give you in the first place but definitely not here”. 

She could see with her own eyes how she hurt him with her words, and it went straight through her heart. But she knew she was right and that she had to proceed. 

“Why don’t you finally allow yourself a bit of happiness?” she continued softly, “If there is anything you deserve now it is her love. Not your death. Death would be a too cruel and too unjust reward for all the things you have done for us”. 

“A sad end to a sad life,” said Severus curtly, “I suppose that is fair enough”. 

“No it is not,” said Lily, also losing her patience now, “And don’t act so insensitively!”

“Could it be, Lily, that the cauldron is calling the kettle black? I cannot say that you are a picture of sensitivity yourself”

“Sorry, Severus,” she said, “that wasn’t my intention. But I mustn’t hide the facts for you either”. 

“Is that why you came here?” asked Severus, “To tell me that Billie is in love with me? And that I should stay with her… which probably does not suit you too badly since, as you keep on telling me, you do not love me yourself, on the contrary: you wish to be freed of me as soon as possible”. 

“That is not true, Severus!”

“But it is… you are telling me yourself”. 

“It’s not like that,” she snapped impatiently, but tears had come into her eyes too, “You know that I love you… or loved you… or still do in a… in a particular way. And that’s why I don’t want you to … to end like this, with nothing, when you could be so happy… if only you allowed yourself this happiness and stopped being so… so stubborn about me”. 

Severus was silent for a while. There was infinite pain in his black eyes. His voice sounded constricted when he finally spoke. 

“I cannot undo the love I feel for you. I will never be able to. Clearly, you do not understand what this love is or you would not act so… lightly upon it”. 

“I am not taking this lightly,” she protested.

“You do not comprehend the full meaning of it”.

“Then I must apologise,” she said softly, “But it cannot be helped. I am infinitely grateful to you, Severus, and if there is anyone, anyone at all in the living world who I truly wish the very best, it is you. But there is nothing I can give you. Nothing of all the things you will find in abundance with this girl”. 

“A profusion I have no desire for”. 

“You care for her!” she said firmly, “Don’t underestimate your feelings for her. You’re blinding yourself with the myth you have created around me”. 

“<i>Myth</i>!” he exclaimed incredulously, “Is that how you think I see you?”

“An impossible and at the same time unrealistic love”. 

He opened his mouth to snap a furious reply at her, but she stopped him with a sudden movement of her hand. 

“Let’s not argue in these few minutes that were granted us, Severus,” she said, “My time with you is running out. And you are too dear to me to have it ruined by silly arguments”. 

“How come you know it all so very well?” asked Severus bitterly, “Where does your wisdom come from? Are you sitting on a cloud, watching our comings and goings? Do you have a mirror that tells our fortune? In that case, would you mind depicting it?”

Lily shook her head. “If you think we are watching every move you make, I have to disappoint you. Or reassure you, whichever you prefer”. 

“Then how come…?”

“I <i>feel </i>things. And understand them. This… state I’m in makes me<i> </i>understand things you wouldn’t normally understand in real life”. 

“In other words: I had better listen to you and do as you say”. 

“You have to make your own choices, Severus. There is no way I can make them for you. I am merely stating the facts… the obvious”. 

As she spoke, which was slowly and with a certain emphasis, she was boring her eyes deeply into his, not unlike the way he usually did when he was penetrating someone’s mind. 

“Please, carefully reconsider the step you are going to take, Severus. It would be such a shame to throw so many good things overboard”. 

“Is going back to the mess back there an action I should take to please you? Not unlike all the other things I have done for your son?”

“The only person you should do it for is yourself,” she simply said. “Not Billie. And definitely not me”. 

He was silent for a while. 

“I need time to think,” he finally said. 

“You have some time left to consider a few things,” said Lily, “But I have to go now”. She stretched her hand towards him again but realised it was of no use and let it drop. “Thank you, Severus, thank you so very much. And… and whatever choice you make, I wish you the best. But remember that happiness is only to be found amongst the living. Nowhere else”. 

He didn’t reply. He hated to lose her again. He knew that he would wake up, feeling more lonesome than ever before. And he was tired of that... of that life he was supposed to continue. 

“I… “ she said, as her image was gradually growing translucent, “I <i>do </i>love you, you know”. 

“In a <i>particular </i>way,” he sneered. 

“Not in the way you need,” she admitted, and with that, only a very thin, silver outline was all that remained of her figure, a line that gradually dissolved in the same, empty whiteness of the place Severus was standing in. 

And then, all went black. 

 

“Mrs Matthews?”

Billie looked up from the floor she had been staring at. Another nurse was standing next to her, a young girl with a sympatheticsmile.

“Dr Afzelius would like to have a word with you”. 

Billie instantly leapt to her feet, and Emily followed her example. 

“Is he…?” 

“I can’t give you any details but his condition is critical… very critical”. 

“But he’s alive?” insisted Billie, “He has a condition, so …”

“Dr Afzelius will give you all the details,” said the nurse, “This way, please”. 

Billie shot an uncertain glance at Emily who indicated that it was all right. She was going to wait here. 

With a painfully pounding heart she followed the nurse as if in a trance. 

<i>Severus, Severus… please … let him be all right… </i>It was all she could think. 

Dr Afzelius appeared to be the bespectacled young Healer she had previously attacked.  

“Please sit down… Miss…?”

“Matthews”. 

“Ah yes,” said the Healer, “and that is your real name, is it?”

“It is!” said Billie defensively. 

“Unlike our patient’s…?”

She flushed but decided not to go there. 

“How is he, doctor? Is he alive?”

“He is <i>being kept </i>alive”, the Healer corrected her, “Our nurses are feeding him oxygen. His lungs are not functiong on their own, nor is his heart”. 

“But…”

“We have no idea if they ever <i>will</i>. Nor if his brain has sustained any damages”. The Healer sat watching her for a little while. Her distress was apparent. How was it possible that anyone should so desperately love an individual like Severus Snape, the cruellest, worst-tempered and most biased teacher he had ever had to endure in his long training? He could tell that, in normal circumstances, this had to be a very good-looking young woman, if perhaps not the most kind-hearted one in the world, but her face – her whole body even – expressed utmost despair… and exhaution.

“You should get some sleep,” he said, “and have yourself taken care of”. 

“I don’t care about sleep,” she replied impatiently, “What are his chances, doctor? How high do you estimate the risk he won’t make it?”

“Extremely high,” he said without hesitation, “I deeply regret to have to say this, Miss Matthews, but even a miracle may not suffice to pull this man through”. 

Billie’s heart sank even lower than it had already been. For a long moment, she was speechless, lamed even. Even the tears didn’t come.

“Would you like to see him?” asked Dr Afzelius after a while. 

She nodded but as she came to her feet, another wave of nausea came over her and she had to grab his desk with both hands to steady herself. 

“Easy, Miss Matthews,” said the Healer as he grasped her arm for support, “How long has it been since you last had something to eat?”

“I don’t know,” muttered Billie. 

“Then I suggest we first bring you something”. 

“I can’t eat,” she said, “Please don’t bother”. 

“If you can’t eat we will have to force-feed you,” remarked the Healer dryly, “You will be of little use to Professor Snape if you constantly faint”.

At the mentioning of his name Billie looked up. 

“You won’t register him under that name, will you, doctor?”

“We usually don’t register anyone under a false name”.

“Please do so this time,” she begged him, “If the Dark Lord hears he has survived this…”

Dr Afzelius frowned. “Was He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named behind this attack?”

Billie nodded. 

“Well in that case, there is little to fear”.

“What do you mean?”

“Haven’t you heard?” he asked, “Ah well… I suppose you couldn’t have. It’s only just been announced. He has been killed. The Dark Lord is no more”. 

Her mouth sank open in utmost astonishment.

“Harry Potter killed him” Dr Afzelius continued, carefully studying her bewildered face. “So I suppose that’s good news then, isn’t it?” 

“Are you sure?” she whispered incredulously, “Are you absolutely sure?” and then her knees gave way completely and she sank back into her chair. “Oh God!” she whispered, rubbing her brow rather frantically, as if she wanted to make sure she wasn’t dreaming, “Oh, please, let it be true!”. 

“It is true,” said Dr Afzelius, “I can’t imagine anyone would want to joke around this”.

“But how…?” asked Billie, “I don’t understand… they were so many… how could Harry…?”

“I haven’t heard any details,” said Dr Afzelius, “But I’m sure they will come very soon. Now why don’t you tidy yourself up a bit first… while the nurse prepares you a sandwich”. 

“I would like to see Severus,” said Billie, “Please…? Can I go now?”

“In his present condition, one hour more or less won’t matter. You’d better…”

“Please, Dr Afzelius”. 

He sighed. “All right, then. Merlin knows where your persistence comes from… He’s not your father, is he?”

“I beg your pardon…?”

“Sorry!” he lifted his hands as a sign of apology,”You look so young”. 

“I’m nearly twenty-one. Severus couldn’t…”

“All right, all right. Forgive me”. Lucky bugger, he thought, where had an arrogant villain like Snape deserved such good fortune? 

All right, he checked himself, the man was fighting for his life now… so it wasn’t all sunshine and daisies in his life, but he wasn’t even fighting very hard! 

“I will take you to him. But you can’t stay longer than a few minutes, and you have to look at him from behind a screen”. 

“Can’t I go near him?”

He cast a sceptical look at her dirty appearance. “Not in this state, no. And visitors are not allowed until six pm anyway, by which time you could have yourself cleaned, brushed and desinfected”.

 

Severus lay exactly as she had left him, except that he was now wearing a white, cotton sort of nightdress and that he looked cleaner. His face was still deadly pale; not one single muscle in his body seemed to be moving, and his long, bony hands lay side by side and completely immobile on the sheet. He wasn’t dreaming. It didn’t even look as if he was sleeping. 

“He’s in a deep coma,” said Bert Afzelius, as if he was reading her mind, “As you can see, the heart is supported by this metronomic pulse enchantment, and the Breath-Breathing Bugbear is constantly providing him with oxygen”. 

The pulse enchantment was invisible, but Billie could see its effect just underneath Severus’s left breast, where the sheets and the fabric of his shirt made regular jumps, as if something was bouncing up and down on his heart.

A little higher on his chest, underneath his chin, sat a bullet-round furry creature that was filling up like a balloon and deflating again with the regular rhythm of a sleeper’s respiration. Billie saw a tiny sort of tube, which was in fact a very long and thin snout, disappear into one of Severus’s nostrils. 

“We have been able to save one kidney,” said Dr Afzelius, “Of course, he will have to recover from that surgery too”. 

Billie cast him a sideways glance. “Surgery?” she asked, “I thought you didn’t do that at St Mungo’s?”. 

Dr Afzelius gave a nervous cough. “We… erm… we called upon the assistance of a muggle surgeon”, he whispered, “… which is against our rules”. 

“Weren’t you able to do it by magic?”

He shook his head. “Impossible. It was a too delicate intervention. The chance of success would have been below zero…  not that it is much higher now,” he added, “You have to prepare yourself …”

Billie swallowed back a lump in her throat. If only she could go near him; talk to him; whatever…

“May I come back at six?” she asked after a while.

“Of course… if you are clean that is”. He checked his watch. “It’s time to leave now and I have other patients to look after. Will you be all right?”

Billie nodded. 

“Don’t hesitate to contact me or my colleague if you have any questions”. 

“Thank you,” she said. 

 

In the corridor, she ran into an emotional Emily and her parents. 

“How’s Geoff?”

“He’s going to be all right, thank Merlin for that!” said Emily’s father. 

“Except for the tiny detail that he’s going to be a werewolf,” sniffed her mother, “He’ll be a danger to all of us at every full moon”. 

“There is a potion to prevent that from happening,” said Billie, “The wolfsbane potion is very effective”.

“He will still be condemmed to the life of an outcast. Noone wants to hire or marry a werewolf”, said Emily's father.

“That may change now,” said Emily, “You-know-who has made so many victims, and quite a few of them were bitten by that werewolf. Perhaps the Ministry will become more tolerant towards them than they have been till now”. 

“Perhaps,” said Emily’s mother, dabbing at her wet cheeks with her handkerchief, “We don’t even have a Ministry… not a proper one I mean”.

“But we may soon have one,” said Billie, “Now that he’s dead”. 

“<i>If</i> he’s dead,” said Emily’s mum, “I find that very hard to believe. He has been said to be killed before and look where we are now. I don’t believe in fairy tales anymore”. 

“How’s Severus?” asked Emily, very wisely ignoring her mother’s dark mood.

“Poor,” said Billie, “Really not well. He… he may not make it”.

Emily lay a comforting arm around her shoulders. “I’m sorry,” she said, squeezing her friend a little closer “But we mustn’t lose hope. What are you going to do now?”

Billie shrugged. “I’m not allowed in until six tonight”.

“Nor we,” agreed Emily, “Won’t you come with us in the meantime? You could have a shower and something to eat. You’ll feel a lot better then”. 

Billie shook her head. “I don’t want to disturb you. You have problems enough as it is”. 

“Nonsense,” said Emily’s father, “It will give us some diversion to have you with us. You can tell us your side of the story… explain us why you suddenly decided to dye your beautiful hair for example”. 

“You’re very welcome to join us, dear”, said Emily’s mother.

“And I’m sure we’ll find something in the Apothecary that will make you blonde again,” added her father. 

“Thank you,” said Billie, deeply touched by their kindness. 

And so she followed the family towards the fireplace from where they could travel to the Apothecary.

 

It took her quite some rubbing and peeling to get all the dirt, dried blood and other sticky substances from the various parts of her body, which, at times, was a painful experience too because of the bruises she had received everywhere.

Mr Wildsmith’s neutralising hair lotion had indeed removed the black dye. Her hair was a lighter shade of blonde than it usually was but at least she looked a lot more herself again, especially now that she had finally replaced Manuela’s austere clothes by the more usual wizard robes she had borrowed from Emily. 

As she was brushing her teeth she suddenly felt how tired she was. If she estimated the time correctly, she should have been awake for over forty hours already, during which time she hadn’t eaten anything either. 

She threw some cold water in her face when she felt her stomach turn and pressed the towel against her eyeballs for a few seconds. Then she took a deep breath, put the towel back on the rack again and joined Emily’s family for tea.

 

Despite the lack of sleep but thanks to the Wildsmiths’ excellent care she felt a lot stronger and optimistic by the time they arrived back at St Mungo’s. 

Geoff didn’t look too bad either. He had a couple of scratches and bruises on his face and arms, and a big plaster on his chest, where Greyback had bitten him, but when they entered the room he sat waiting for them fully dressed and packed, apparently very eager to leave the hospital.

“The food’s horrrible,” he muttered, “And the noise! Six people in one room is way too much, especially if they’re all moaning and shouting all the time”. 

“You have to indulge them a little, dear,” said Mrs Wildsmith, “They’re injured and they all have received nasty shocks. Most of them are traumatised”.“The hospital is full too,” remarked Emily, “Oliver has been brought in, did you know? And loads of other students”. 

“I walked into Professor Sinistra in the corridor,” said Geoff, “She’s lost a hand in the battle”.

“Oh, poor thing!” said Billie. 

“No, she isn’t,” said Geoff, “They managed to put it back. They’re quite amazing here. Bet they can bring a dead one back if they want”.

“Yes well… “ Billie shot an uncertain glance at Emily, “I think I’ll go and check on… you know”. 

“Yes, you do that,” said Emily, “Shall I go with you?”

“You may come if you like but you don’t have to. I’ll be fine”. 

“I’ll join you,” said Emily firmly, “Are you going home now?” The latter was addressed at her parents.

“We’ve got some paperwork to do here and then we’ll be off,” said her father, “I suppose you’re allowed to go home now, aren’t you”. 

“I’m going,” said Geoff determinedly, “whether I’m allowed or not. I’m not staying here”. 

“Very well then,” said Emily’s mother, “Billie, please do come back to our place tonight. You probably want to stay close to the hospital anyway, don’t you”. 

“That would be very handy. Thank you,” Billie said gratefully. “I’m forever in your debt”. 

“No, you’re not,” said Mr Wildsmith, “And now I think it’s time you checked on S… you know”. Billie had explicitely asked Emily’s family to be discrete about Severus’s presence and she was glad they stuck to it.

“Who else is here?” asked Geoff curiously.

“Never you mind,” said Emily, “See you later!”. 

 

Dr Afzelius was not available, so they were welcomed by the Head Nurse of the special care-department. 

“Very little evolution, I’m afraid Miss Matthews,” said Mrs Florence, “He is still in a  coma”. 

“Can I go near him?” asked Billie. 

“Yes, no more than ten minutes, though,” said the nurse, “And you have to be tested by the disinfectioner”. 

“What exactly is that?”

“You will see in a minute. Can you stand over here please?”

Billie did as she was told.

“Push your back against the wall, please”. 

As soon as she had done so, four pairs of hairy arms shot out of the wall that took her legs, belly, upper body and head into a tight hug. One hand was clasped over her mouth for a few seconds, and another over her nose. Before she ran short of breath and started to panick, though, the disinfectioner gave what sounded like an approving growl and released her. 

It was amazing how a place with so much magical expertise in the house should use such a primitive means of disinfecting people.

“That is acceptable,” said the Nurse, “Now you go, please”. 

Emily did the same thing, but as soon as the disinfectioner had closed its arms around her, a rather loud whailing filled the hospital room. 

“No, you are definitely not allowed in,” said the Nurse, “Do you have a cold or something?”

“I might,” said Emily, “I’ve been coughing a bit, come to think of it”. 

“You can only  watch from behind the glass wall. I’m sorry. And you have to take care of yourself. Now Mrs Matthews, if you are ready…”. 

 

“We have stopped the metronomic pulse enchantment,” explained Mrs Florence when they entered the room, “His heartbeat is steady now, but he is still receiving artifical respiration”. 

She cast a sideways glance at Billie who was resting her eyes on the immobile, pale man in the hospital bed. “He has to <i>want</i> it”, she added, “We can’t use the Breath Breathing Bugbear forever if he doesn’t want to breathe for himself”.

Billie met her gaze. “Do you mean that he doesn’t <i>want </i>to live?” she asked.

“His injuries were severe. Connecting his condition solely to his survival instinct at this stage is grossly exaggerated but as time passes, his mental power will become an increasingly important precondition for his recovery”.

Did he want to die? His beloved was dead. Did he want to be with her?Her heart sank as she sat down on his bed. 

“Severus?” she whispered, “Severus, it’s me. Billie”. 

Of course there was no reaction. She hadn’t really expected one really, but she couldn’t stop herself from talking to him anyway. 

“Voldemort is dead,” she continued, “Harry killed him. I don’t know if that’s enough for you to come back but please, Severus… try”. 

His pale face swam before her eyes now. The tears had come back. How many more should she shed before all would be well… ? If ever things would be well again.

“Don’t grant him the pleasure of dying for him, Severus,” she whispered, “You don’t want to be in the same place as him, do you?”

But she might as well have talked to a rock. Nothing, absolutely nothing moved in the face, arms and in the hands she was now holding. She pressed his fingers against her lips and held them there… They were cold… so deadly cold.

“Time’s up, Miss Matthews,” she heard the nurse behind her say, “One more minute and then you have to go”. 

From behind the glass screen, Emily stood silently watching the scene in wonder. It was surreal to see her friend act so intimately with Snape. She could hardly believe that it really was the Potions Master who was lying there, and not someone else in disguise. But these funny thoughts instantly disappeared when she saw the distress on Billie’s face as her friend got up from the bed and walked towards her. Without a word she caught her into her arms and held her close for a long while.

“He doesn’t want to live,” Billie sobbed, “He’d much rather be dead”. 

“You don’t know that. You heard the nurse. He’s very severly wounded”. 

“But the antidotes are doing their work very well,” said Dr Afzelius, who had just walked in, “I don’t think there is much poison left in his body now”. 

“So he’s bound to pull through now?” asked Emily.

He shook his head. “It’s not as simple as that. There’s the damage his organs may have suffered, not in the least his brain. We still haven’t been able to properly test their activity. It is quite difficult as long as he is unconscious”. 

“Is there anything we can do to wake him up?” sniffed Billie, “Anything we can feed him or do to him?”

“Nothing. Patients in a coma can wake up after a short time, a couple of weeks at the maximum. Most of them do, but many of them go into a vegetative state too”. 

“And what is that?”

“The symptoms are more or less the same as the ones we see now. No response at all; no consciousness whatsoever”. 

“And it’s hard to tell how he will evolve no doubt,” remarked Billie.

“There may be a dramatic evolution in the next days,” said Dr Afzelius, “Or not. I can only watch and hope together with you”.

He felt sorry for her but there was nothing he could say that would give her some sort of comfort, except that she was always welcome to visit Severus.

“If the nurse doesn’t let you in, ask for me,” he said, “I see no harm in your presence, quite on the contrary: very often coma-patients respond to the voice or the touch of their beloved”. 

Except that she wasn’t his beloved, Billie added silently, but the Healer’s kind words made her feel slightly better anyway. 

 

That feeling, however, didn’t last long. They had barely left Severus’s room and made their way through the crowded corridor when they ran into Bill Weasley.

“Fleur has been brought in for observation,” he explained, “She wasn’t very severly injured but they didn’t want to take any risks now that she’s pregnant”. 

“Is she expecting a baby?” exclaimed Emily, “But that’s wonderful! Your mum must be delighted. The first grandchild in the family!”

“Yes, I suppose she’s happy in a way. Or she will be in the end”. 

And then it struck Billie how subdued he looked… not at all like a soon-to-be father. 

“What do you mean?” she asked, alarmed now, “What’s happened?”

“Haven’t you heard…?” asked Bill, “Oh dear…” he sighed, “You haven’t, have you?”.

“Has anyone been…” 

It was too cruel for words. Not the Weasleys… not one of <i>them</i>.

“Fred,” he blurted out, “Fred has been killed”.

The world stood still then. Everything stood still. It was too much for any person to take in after all the things that had happened in the last forty-eight hours. One moment Billie stood staring at Bill’s sad face, her mind empty with shock. And the next, all went black and she knew no more.

 

She awoke in a hospital room that was bathing in sunlight. 

From the corridor came the muffled sounds of voices and footsteps but the room itself was silent. She was alone. 

It took her a while to understand where she was and what had happened before she passed out. 

She lay back in the soft cushions as the horrible memories of the day before came back to her and her eyes immediately filled with tears. 

Fred… it couldn’t be true. Not Fred… 

She thought about the last time they had spoken, which hadn’t been in the most friendly terms, but then again... he hadn't understood. He hadn't lived long enough to know what Snape's position was, and now it was too late, and their last words had been spoken - or rather shouted - in anger.

And then she thought about George… and Molly and Arthur… 

She cried for a long time. And then she decided that she should go and visit them as soon as possible, no matter what it would take her to get to The Burrow… after she had seen Severus of course.

She pulled the blankets away and threw her legs over the side of the bed but she had to stop for a little while when the room started to spin around her, and then she got to her feet. 

Her legs felt wobbly but she managed to make her way to the chair on which her clothes lay without too much trouble. She took off the apron-like nightdress she was wearing and was just closing the last buttons of Emily’s dress when the door opened and Dr Afzelius walked in. 

“Ah there you are, Miss Matthews. You had a good rest, I trust? You were quite exhausted”

Billie nodded. “Yes, thank you. How long have I slept?”

He checked his watch. “Over twenty hours I should think. It’s four am now”.

“Oh dear!” she gasped, “I have to go. How’s Severus?”

“Not so fast, Miss Matthews. You are not fit to go anywhere without a decent meal first. I will send for the nurse straight away”. 

“But how’s Severus?” she pressed.

“There is an evolution,” said the Healer, “Not a big one, but still… He is breathing on his own now”. 

“Really?” 

“That is not saying a lot, but it may point at a certain recovery. It is definitely an improvement”.

“Can I go and see him… <i>first</i>!” she added when she saw him open his mouth in protest. “I’m sure I can walk that short distance and have food afterwards. I’m not hungry anyway”. 

“You must be starving, even if you don’t feel your empty stomach,” said the Healer, “I insist you eat first”. 

It was no use protesting, so she gave in. And after she had taken a couple of bites from the sandwiches the nurse had brought in, she had to admit that she felt a lot better indeed.

 

“We have detected little or no brain activity,” said Dr Afzelius as they took the stairs to the upper floor. “But of course we do not have the equipment Muggles have to monitor this. If nothing visibly changes, we may consider calling in a Muggle colleague to do some testing”. 

“But you’re not allowed to do that”. 

“Not up till now, but the climate is changing. Have you seen the papers already?”

Billie shook her head.

“You should have a look at them. We have the latest issues at the reception desk if you like to see them”. 

“Is he really dead? The Dark Lord, I mean?”

“Oh yes,” said Dr Afzelius, “Many people still find that hard to believe but Harry Potter has just made an official statement in the Prophet. He killed You-know-who. He didn’t give any details but acccording to him, last time they didn’t succeed because at that time, they didn’t very well know how to do it”. 

“And now he <i>did </i> know how to do it”. 

“Yes. Well, a lot of students saw You-Know-Who being hit by the killing curse, and his body was examined several times by the best Healers we have. There’s no doubt about it: he’s as dead as he can be”. 

“And what happened to his Death Eaters?”

“Many of them were killed too. There’s a list in the Prophet. There’s also another one with the names of the students and staff who passed away…”. 

Merlin… how many more got killed? 

Billie knew that she was going to consult the list as soon as she came out of Severus’s room, but the prospect terrified her. 

 

“As you can see,” said Dr Afzelius when they entered Severus’s room, “The Breath Breathing Bugbear has been removed. His respiration is quite steady now”. 

The Healer left them alone and Billie sat down on Severus’s bed. 

His respiration was indeed regular but that was all there had changed. He was still far far away… barely alive.

“Severus, my love…” she whispered. 

His face was ice-cold. She took his fingers in her hand and held them as if she was going to warm them, “I can’t blame you if you don’t want to come back. So many people have died, or are hurt. I don’t want you to be one of them. Fred Weasley was killed too. The last time we spoke we were argueing over you… sort of”. 

She swallowed.

“He didn’t believe you were on our side,” she continued, “I’m not even sure if anyone happens to know <i>now </i>that you have fought on our side all along<i>. </i>Does Harry know? I’m not even sure. Shall I tell him? Now that Voldemort is dead it can’t hurt if I tell him, can it?”. 

But Severus remained as motionless as always and after a while, she got up. It was time she got in touch with The Burrow and had a look at the papers. 

 

“Billie!”

A pair of feather-soft arms closed around her and for a long while, both women stood crying against each other’s shoulder. 

Then Billie gently released her grip and took a step back. 

Molly had grown older. Billie hadn’t seen her in quite a few months and the last time they had met, the ever-optimistic face had been overshadowed by the never-ceasing worry about her relatives and friends who had constantly found themselves in mortal peril. The loss of her son had deepened the lines around her mouth and on her brow, and her eyes and mouth expressed a deep sadness. 

“I am so sorry,” said Billie, “so very sorry. It should never have happened. It’s not fair”. 

Molly nodded. 

“And George?” asked Billie, “How is he? Is he here?”

“Yes, he’s upstairs,” her voice sounded thick with tears, “Poor boy. They were so close”.

“He must be devastated. But how are you? How do you… ?”

“Cope with it?” Molly sighed, “I can’t… The only thing that keeps me more or less going is knowing that I killed, or rather destroyed, the bitch that killed him. And that Voldemort is dead”. 

“And how’s Harry?”

“He’s fine. Exhausted of course. Spent three days sleeping. We took him in, because otherwise he wouldn’t have had a moment’s peace”. 

“He’s quite a hero now, isn’t he? I bet the Daily Prophet are dying for an interview”. 

“Yes, but they’ll have to wait. The poor boy has had more to endure than what the best Auror could bear”. 

“He’s lucky to be here,” said Billie as she sat down at the kitchen table,”He’s in the best hands he could wish for with you around”. 

“It’s more Ginny who’s taking care of him,” The hands that poured the tea were shaking a little bit, but she smiled anyway, “She watches over him like a guard dog. I don’t think anyone will manage to come near him without passing her first”.

“Her mother’s determination”. 

George stood in the door opening, puff-eyed and sad like his mother, slightly bent too, as if an enormous weight was resting on his shoulders. 

Billie took him in a tight hug that could very well compete with the one she had given Molly. He didn’t cry: most probably because he didn’t have the energy left for it anymore.

Billie spent the rest of the evening at the kitchen table, between George and Molly who seemed to feel a need to talk about Fred all the time. They were later joined by Arthur, but at no point during their conversation did Billie feel a need, or find it suitable, to bring up the subject of Severus… not until George dropped his name himself. 

“So it looks like you were right about Snape,” he said, when they were discussing the battle at the castle, “He sent you after Harry didn’t he?”

“He wanted to warn him,” said Billie, “He had been looking after him all along”.

“And how come you were at Hogwarts?”

Very briefly, Billie told them about the attack that had been planned on the PM and Severus’s role in that. 

“And have you always known he was innocent?” asked Arthur, “I seem to remember you said something of the kind months ago, after he had killed Dumbledore”. 

Billie nodded. “How come <i>you</i> know he was on our side?” she asked, “Did Harry know?”

“Only at the very end,” said Arthur, “I wasn’t there when Harry killed Voldemort, or at least not mentally, but he seemed to have told Voldemort that Snape loved Lily, and that therefore, his whole life had been aimed at avanging her murder”. 

“Lily?” muttered Billie, “Do you mean… ?”

“Harry’s mum,” said George, “Snape loved her and he hated Voldemort for killing her. So he chose our side”. 

So Lily was the woman in the picture! And the boy… the boy had to be Harry! 

No wonder Severus had been so furious, and hurt when she had asked him if the boy was <i>his</i> son. Her cheeks flushed with shame.

“And Severus killed Dumbledore because Albus had asked him to do it”, continued Molly seemingly unaware of Billie’s red head.

“Yes, he was dying,” said Billie, “Severus told me”. 

“He told you?” asked Arthur incredulously, “He must have had an enormous confidence in you if he told you that! If you had passed that bit of information on to the other side… or been forced to… Merlin knows what would have happened!”

“He only told me at the very end… just before… you know…”

“Before he was killed,” Molly added silently, “Poor man. He was killed before any of us had the chance to reinstate him and reward him for the efforts he has done for us”. 

“And so many more people have been killed,” said George, “Did you hear about Remus and Tonks?”

Billie nodded. “I read it in the paper”. 

The three Weasleys were clearly upset by this double murder, so she decided not to come back to the subject of Severus anymore. They’d know in due time. Besides… what was there to know? Severus was barely alive. He might as well die very soon anyway. 

“It’s a good thing Voldemort’s dead and his followers be brought to justice”, said Arthur.

“And hopefully for good this time,” added George

“He really <i>is</i> dead, isn’t he” said Billie, “I found it so hard to believe, but then I read Harry’s statement in the paper. I suppose the Prophet wouldn’t lie about such a thing, would they?”

“No, he really is dead,” said Arthur, “Voldemort had found a way to split himself up, or something, and last time, only one part of him was killed, so he managed to come back. But now all these parts have been destroyed”. 

“Is that what Harry has been doing in the last months?” asked Billie.

“Yes, he, Ron and Hermione have been searching for these things all over the country”. 

So the locket with the horrible thing that came out of it had been a bit of Voldemort. Billie shuddered at the memory of it. 

“It was a tremendous job. Nearly impossible,” added George, “But they managed to trace them, mainly thanks to instructions by Dumbledore”. 

“And Severus…” added Billie. 

She met the three curious pairs of eyes and smiled sadly, “Severus made sure Harry got the sword to destroy these things”. 

“Did he tell you that too?” asked Arthur.

“No, I was there myself”. 

“You mean you were there with him?” asked George incredulously, “Where was that?”

“In a forest somewhere. The Forest of Dean. It was somewhere in January I believe”. 

“You mean you found Harry when the whole country was looking for him?”

Billie nodded. “I’m not sure how Severus found out where he was. I think it was Dumbledore’s portrait in the Headmaster’s office that told him”. 

“So Dumbledore knew he was on our side, and the other Headmasters too”. 

“Yes”. 

“That man deserves his portrait in that office!” said Molly, “If any Headmaster is worthy of the honour it’s him”. 

“Who?” asked Harry Potter who had just entered the kitchen with Ginny.

“Snape, of course,” said Molly.

“Yes, that’s true,” agreed Harry, “I think we’ll have to see to it that he gets one. Hello, Billie. How are you?”

“It’s good to see you, Harry,” said Billie as she shook his and Ginny’s hand, “I’m OK, thanks. Yourself? You look well I must say”. 

“Apart from the scratches and bruises, you mean?” smiled Harry, “Yeah, I’m not too bad. Relieved it’s all over. Still not a hundred percent sure I haven’t dreamt it all, though”.

“We all need time to get in terms with things,” said Molly silently, “I have the same feeling, unfortunately”.

Billie took her hand. An uncomfortable silence had settled over the kitchen all of a sudden. A hundred times killing Voldemort would not have compensated for the loss of their beloved son and brother.

Billie thought it best to leave the family alone with their grief now. 

She gave Molly’s hand an encouraging squeeze and got to her feet. 

“I have to go back,” she said, “Is there… you know… have you thought about the funeral already?”

“There is a remembrance ceremony for all the victims at Hogwarts this Saturday,” said Arthur, “But we’ve decided to bury Fred more intimately on Friday. You’re welcome to join us, if you like”. 

“Thank you. I will”, said Billie. 

“It’s here in the village, at ten,” said George. 

They exchanged hugs and encouraging words and then, very silently, Billie closed the backdoor behind her and disapparated back to London. It was high time she updated her parents, brother and Uncle Richard on recent events, before she went back to Emily’s house and St Mungo’s, even if being with Severus was the only thing she really wanted.

And none of the Weasleys knew that he was still alive. 

 

She found Severus hanging in mid-air, half naked and still unconcious, with a nurse who was rubbing his left leg as if her life depended on it. 

“We’re trying to keep the blood circulation going in his limbs,” she explained, “Coma patients who have been immobile for some time are subject to atrophy”. 

“What’s atropy?” asked Billie. 

“A weakness in the limbs, because the patient doesn’t use those muscles anymore. They end up having absolutely no strength in them. They can’t walk. They can’t even control their movements anymore”. 

“I see. And does massaging them help to bring them back?”

“Could be,” said the nurse, “that’s why we encourage relatives to do it in our place. Would you like to give it a try?”. 

Billie attentatively listened to her instructions and watched how she moved her fingers over his limbs. Then she took some of the cream the nurse handed over to her and started to rub it into the skin of his right leg. 

Skin was saying a lot… What she mainly felt were bones and a bit of soft flesh on his calf and upper leg. He wasn’t very hairy on the legs, and even less so on the chest, which drew the attention even more to the protruding ribs, collarbone and shoulders.  

“Are you sure that intravenous food is strong enough? “ she asked the nurse after a while, “He looks so… underfed”. 

“He <i>was</i> underfed when he came here,” said the nurse, “I think he is gradually getting stronger… which is relative in case of a coma patient, of course, but still…”

Although she was genuinly concerned about his underweight body, Billie enjoyed touching him. She moved her fingers over his legs and arms with the utmost care. It was as if she hoped that by kneading the oil into his skin to prevent the atrophy from setting in, she was bringing back some life in the immobile body. But that was an illusion. Severus remained as motionless and irresilient as before, as if he were a rag doll being pawed by its owner. She had no idea if he was usually susceptible to tickling but in his present state, he clearly wasn’t.

 

She continued the physiotherapy in the days to follow. Even if the results were poor, or downright non-existent, it brought some peace into her troubled mind, that enabled her to relax and to come to terms with recent events and with the horrible things she read in the paper every day. 

Loads of muggle families had been disrupted by the loss of one or more relatives, or wiped out altogether. The Prophet had started with a daily column in which, every time, one such family was presented to the readers, which was meant as some sort of tribute to them. 

Although Billie was irritated by the typical, tabloidish tone of the columns, which turned mere trivialities into much more spectacular facts, she supposed it gave the surviving members of these families some consolation at least. 

The paper also published interviews with eye-witnesses of what they now called ‘the Battle’ with a capital. The staff had managed to stay away from the interviewers, but quite a few students had been prepared to share their experiences and feelings with the rest of the wizarding world, although Billie wondered if <i>all </i>of them had fought so heroically as they claimed they had. Of course, she hadn’t been present at every fight – quite on the contrary – but when she read how Miles Bletchley had heroically fought two giant spiders at the same time, which had left the two creatures at the bottom of the lake and one of his own arms still numb from their poison, she frowned. She clearly recalled Bletchley leading a long queue of other Slytherins into the safety of the dungeons on that fatal night And from the Care of Magical Creatures-classes they used to share, she mainly remembered his arachnafobia, or rather ‘all-creatures’- fobia, which had prevented him from performing the practical tasks he was asked to do and made him notorious for copying other students’ essays on the subject.

Sometimes she read an article out to Severus, when she thought it would please him. The Healers had explicitely told her not to say anything that might upset him, so most of the time she had to go through the paper in silence, but when the Prophet started to report on arrested Death Eaters, she thought he wouldn’t be too displeased to hear about it and so she spent more and more time reading to him.

 

Fred’s funeral was a highly emotional but beautiful service, during which friends told little anecdotes that brought a smile on most of the people’s faces, and George paid a short, but heartbreaking tribute to his brother. 

Fred was buried in a simple, whitewood coffin that was carried to the small graveyard by his four brothers and Arthur, and when it was lowered into the grave, all guests raised their wands and white flowers shot out of them that landed on its lid. 

Then Arthur raised his wand a second time and the heap of earth that had been lying next to the grave was lifted up and settled itself over the coffin, neatly covering up the grave and taking away the last view people had on Fred’s final resting-place. 

On the next day, the official remembrance ceremony took place at Hogwarts. As opposed to the way she had felt during Fred’s funeral, Billie was now quite composed and even felt a little numb. She supposed she had shed so many tears over the last days that there weren’t many left anymore.

Still, McGonnagle held a beautiful speech that deeply moved many people in the audience. She started by praising the many heroes who had fought, and had lost their lives in the hands of Voldemort and his followers during the Battle and long before that. Then she expressed her relief at the destruction of the Dark Lord and said that at least, all those innocent people hadn’t died for no reason. She didn’t refer to Harry’s part in Voldemort’s downfall: this ceremony was dedicated to the many victims only; all the praise and attention had to go to them, not to the ones who survived. 

And then, Billie received a shock when she dropped Severus’s name.“Finally, I would like to pay tribute to one man in particular. I do hope you will forgive me for singling out Professor Snape today, but during his life, we have not had the chance to thank him for everything he has done for us. Yet, we must never forget the extreme courage he has shown in this war and in the many years that preceded it. He played his double role courageously and in total isolation until the very end. He never once betrayed us to save his skin, even when it became clear that he was going to die a most ruthless and painful death. Thank you, Severus. May I ask the school’s choir to pay them the tribute they have prepared for him, and for all the other people who fought for us”. 

The song was breathtakingly beautiful. By the time it was finished, tears were dripping on Emily’s hand that was holding hers. It looked as if Billie hadn’t run out of them after all.

 

After the ceremony, she spent a long time seated on Severus’s bed, reliving the past events in silence, her hand holding his for comfort. She felt a need to share a little of her feelings with him, but then she wondered if that wouldn’t be too upsetting for him and kept silent. So she sat resting her eyes on his face, wondering how much longer she would have the chance to do so before he decided to give up altogether.

And then she received a tremendous shock. 

The hand that was resting in hers gave a tiny little shudder.

“Severus?” she gasped, “Severus, are you coming back?”. 

She looked down, but his fingers were completely still again. Had she imagined it? Was she so far gone that she was hallucinating now? 

She looked at his face, but nothing moved there, no eyelids, not a single muscle, … Whatever she had felt, he wasn’t waking up. 

And then she felt his other hand move. It gave a sort of little jerk, bumped against hers and then it fell silent again. 

She leaned forward and pushed the bell Dr Afzelius had indicated. 

The young nurse, Miss Swivelly, who had assisted both Healers when they were trying to save Severus’s life, arrived in seconds. 

“His hands have moved,” said Billie. 

“Are you sure?” asked the nurse, ‘They’re quite still now”. 

“I felt it. Twice”. 

Miss Swivelly eyed her with a certain scepticism but then, all of a sudden, Severus’s left hand shot away again. 

“You see!” Billie exclaimed, “He’s moving! He’s waking up!”. 

“I have to call someone,” the nurse said, “Please, don’t do anything”. 

“I won’t…” but Miss Swivelly had already left the room. 

Billie sat scrutinising every tiny detail in his face and hands, desperate for another sign of life, but he was completely still again. 

“Severus?” she whispered, “Severus, can you hear me?”

She grabbed his hand again and gently squeezed it, “Can you feel me? Can you move your fingers when you feel me?”

But the hand rested lifeless in hers. 

“I am not sure he can hear you, Miss Matthews,” said Dr Afzelius, “Not yet at least”. 

“But he is waking up, isn’t he, Doctor?” Billie insisted, “His hands have moved. The nurse saw it”. 

“Uncontrolled movements can hint at some brain activity,” admitted the Doctor, “but that is still a very long way from waking up”. 

“So you don’t think…?”

“Not at this stage, no. It’s too early. May I ask you to leave us alone with the patient? There is some examination we would like to carry out”. 

Billie instantly let go of Severus’s hand and stood up. “Is there anything I can do in the meantime?” she asked. 

“Well, yes, there is, actually,” said the nurse, “We have nearly run out of our stock of hospital wear and for long-term patients we always ask their relatives to bring us some of their own clothes. It makes them more comfortable anyway. Could you bring some underwear and pijamas for Mr Matthews? Oh, and a razor and stuff. He could do with a shave”.

“Erm… yes. Yes, I think I can manage that,” 

 

Underwear and shaving gear… 

She had never bought anything like it in her life, except for the razor blades her father had asked her to bring back from the supermarket once in a while, so she didn’t think that part of the shopping could be too difficult. But underwear and night clothes for her former Potions master were another matter. 

First of all, she had no idea where wizards bought these things, nor if they wore the same stuff as muggles underneath their robes and in bed. The hospital dress Severus was now wearing was quite different from the ones muggle hospitals provided for their patients, so if that was an indication of the average wizard’s nightwear, she was going to be in trouble. 

Fred had worn shorts not unlike muggle men, which he had probably inherited from someone else in the family because they had looked worn and rather shapeless. She doubted therefore that Fred was a reference. 

Emily would have to advise her, or her mum. Having a pure-blood witch as a best friend was once again a bonus.

 

Choosing shaving gear was more complicated than she had thought. She was relieved to find that many wizards did use a brush, shaving cream and a razor knife, but Emily made her hesitate when she explained how enchanted shaver sets were now conquering the wizarding world: they worked completely automatically: all the wizard had to do was to lie back, close his eyes and let the enchanted brush and blade do the work. 

Billie thought for a while, but then she remembered how Severus’s movements had been uncontrolled today. If this continued, an automatic razor blade might be lethal, so she chose the safer option instead. 

“I think you made a good choice,” said Emily, “To me, Snape seems more the grandmother-type anyway”. 

“Excuse me?”

“I mean, he’s probably not into sophisticated gadgets. I think he prefers things to be solid and simple rather than modern and unreliable”. 

“You saved yourself very nicely there”, laughed Billie, “Ah well, I suppose you’re right. But I don’t like these wizard pants! Are you sure that this is what they wear?”. She was holding up a beige, baggy pair of pants that bore quite some resemblance with Fred’s.

“Yes. And nightgowns in bed”. 

“Jeez… it’s high time a fashion designer or two made their entry into the wizarding world”. 

“Yes,“ laughed Emily, “We, women, are more lucky. At least our underwear has followed the muggle trends”.

“Hm… well, in any case, I won’t buy any of these”. 

“Younger wizards tend to sleep naked because they don’t like those nightgowns either”.

“Not sure that will be highly appreciated at St Mungo’s, Em. No, I’ll tell you what I’ll do. I’ll buy some stuff at Harrod’s”. 

“What’s Harrods?”

“A big muggle store here in London. I’ll get him the things that make a man look a man in bed, not a medieval abbot”.

“Severus won’t like being dressed like a muggle”. 

“Yes, well… I don’t think he cares very much at the moment”.

“So he moves but he’s not awake?”. 

“No. I hope he will be by the time I get back, but the Healer was not very optimistic”. 

 

When she came back into the hospital, a couple of shopping bags dangling from her arms, she was stopped by Miss Swivelly. 

“Dr Afzelius has asked me to have a word with you before you enter Mr Matthews’s room”. 

“Why? What’s happened?”

“Well, there is some progress. It looks like he is gradually coming out of his coma”. 

“Really?” exclaimed Billie, nearly dropping her bags “Oh but that’s wonderful!”

“Yes, it probably is. It’s too soon to make any promises and we still have no idea how much his brain has been damaged, but his hands are constantly moving now and his eyes are open”. 

“Open? But then he’s awake!”

“Oh no, not at all,” said Miss Swivelly, “They are unfocused. The muscles in his eyelids are moving at random, just like the ones in his hands and feet”.

 “Oh… “

“And that is why we wanted to warn you, Miss Matthews. You see, as you know, we regularly turn his body, to avoid bedsore. He is now sitting upright, supported by a supporting charm”.

Billie frowned. She couldn’t quite see what the problem was with that, and that is what she told the nurse. 

“The sight of him in that position could be frightening… you know… with unseeing open eyes”. 

“Oh…” said Billie, “I see”. 

And she was glad the nurse had warned her because it was indeed a very scary sight to see him sitting in an armchair, the eyes resting on her as black as the night and as bottomless as the lake at Hogwarts. 

Of course, Snape’s eyes were always black as the night and as unfathomable as they could be, but at least he had been alive when she last looked into them, and as he was sitting here, she had a feeling a corpse was staring back at her. She shivered.

But then a feeling of compassion took possession of her once she had got used to seeing him like this. He was so vulnerable in that silly hospital dress, with his skinny arms and legs sticking out of it and the newly washed hair falling into his eyes. 

She sat down on one of the chair’s arms and pushed a lock of hair out of his face. Then she closed her arms around his shoulders and let his head rest against her chest.

 

After a long while, Billie let go of him, sat back and unfolded the paper Miss Swivelly had just brought in. 

She received a tremendous shock. 

Shouting at her was an enormous headliner

 

<b>The secret love of Severus Snape</b>

<i>Rita Skeeter reports</i>

 

<i>Severus Snape, the latest Headmaster of Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry and former Potions Master and Defence Against the Dark Arts Teacher at the same school, appears not to have been the person he claimed to be. For many years, Severus Snape was believed to be an enthusiastic supporter of the Dark Arts and Lord Voldemort, a fact that was finally confirmed when he killed Albus Dumbledore and openly chose the Dark Lord’s side in the months following this sad event. But few people know that, in reality, Snape’s loyalties couldn’t lie further from Lord Voldemort’s than they did. The reason? His tragic and life-long love for none other than Harry Potter’s mother, Lily Evans. </i>

<i></i>

<i>“I have always known that Professor Snape was on the right side,” says Pantsy Parkinson, a Slytherin student who was just graduating when the dramatic events at Hogwarts took place, “I was the only one to recognise a great personal tragedy under his mask of insensitivity and so-called cruel behaviour” </i>

 

“Oh, for God’s sake!” Billie furiously threw the paper aside. “Hypocritical bitches!”

With her arms crossed, she sat fuminig for a while. What an outrage, bloodthirst, immoral sensationalism! How was it possible that noone forbade this?!

But then she realised that she had better know what it was the Skeeter woman was spreading all over the wizarding world. She might harm Severus or discredit Harry or anyone else who was involved in this, and then it would be wiser for Billie to prepare a counter-attack of some sort. 

She took a deep breath and picked up the paper again, but instead of reading the aricle word for word, she quickly scanned it, just to make sure it didn’t contain anything offensive. 

The whole article breathed sensationalism. It depicted Severus as a sad, unbearably-suffering so-and-so who had to endure immeasurable pain at the constant sight of a boy who should have been his son, and so on and so on. Even an unhappy childhood was thrown into the game and Parkinson kept claiming that she had known all along the tragedy behind the man, and even that he had shared his deepest feelings with her, or at least had intended to do so, on more than one occasion. 

A few times, Billie had to interrupt her reading because she was too livid to continue. Finally, when she was sure nothing harmful was written, she tucked it away in her bag and returned her attention to the once again motionless subject of the article. 

He wasn’t to know about this rubbish, so she was definitely not going to read it out to him. Instead she pulled away the sheets and started to rub the legs that were now sticking out of a Calvin Klein nightwear set. She still wasn’t sure he’d like himself in that outfit but, at least, the improved view made her physiotherapist work a lot more agreeable for her.

.


	15. Part IV - Chapter 15

15

 

“Goodafternoon, Professor”.

“Goodday, Potter, please do sit down”. 

Through one of the upper windows in the circular Headmistress office fell a late afternoon sun that covered the impressive desk and the two people sitting at it in a pleasant, golden light.

“How are you, Harry?”

“Not too bad, thank you. Safely tucked away at The Burrow”. 

“The Daily Prophet still chasing you?”

“Not really,” said Harry, “I think they’ve given up on me for the time being… or at least until they have run out of juicy stories about The Battle”.

“Are you still reading their stories?”

“Not if I can avoid it,” laughed Harry, “I hear more about them than I read myself”.

“So you haven’t followed the latest controversy?”

“Which one?”

“The one about Snape’s lost body”. 

“No, I gave up when they started on my mum and him”. He sipped from the tea she had conjured. “What’s the problem with his body? Has it been buried already?”

“No, that’s the whole point,” said Minerva, “Severus can’t be buried. His body is lost”. 

“Lost?”

“Yes”. 

“I’m not sure I can follow, Professor. What do you mean by ‘lost’? Has anyone taken it away?”.

“No. Or not that we know of. Where did you say you saw it last?”

“In the Shrieking Shack. When he died”. 

“Precisely,” said Minerva, “Well, the body wasn’t there anymore when the Ministry came looking for it”. 

“Oh, “said Harry, “And when was that?”

“Well that may be the problem. You see, they didn’t search the place until they were absolutely sure that all the people who had died at Hogwarts had been found and returned to their families. So I think they only arrived at the Shrieking Shack about two days after the end of the Battle”.

“Hm…”

“You are quite sure that Severus died, Harry?”

“Yes, of course”. 

“You are sure? Sometimes people just seem to be dead”. 

“Well I didn’t stay to examine him, and I’m not a doctor anyway, but he definitely couldn’t have run away or anything. He was too severely wounded. And his eyes were unfocused and his breathing had stopped, so yes, he was definitely not amongst us anymore”. 

“I see,” said the Headmistress, “Another theory the Daily Prophet likes to elaborate on is that the snake erm… finished the job, so to speak”.

“Do you mean…?”

She nodded. 

“I can’t see how she could have done that,” said Harry, “You see, Voldemort took her with him immediately after the attack and didn’t leave her out of his sight until Neville chopped her head of”. 

“And you were there with Severus all the time”. 

Harry thought for a moment and shook his head. “No, I wasn’t. We stayed a couple of minutes longer, after he had passed away I mean, and then I came to this office to look into the pensieve. You see, Snape had left me his memories. That’s when I learnt all there was to know about him and my mother”. 

… and about me being kept alive until it was time to be killed by Voldemort, he added silently.

“And after that?”

“After that I went into the Forest to meet Voldemort, which was about an hour after Snape had died”. 

“I see…” said McGonnagle, “So during that hour it would have been possible for VOldemort and his snake to return to the shack”. 

“It would… but it is very unlikely. Voldemort had just given me an ultimatum during which he had asked me to join him in the Forest. I suppose he went there straight away to wait for me”. 

“Hm… then what do you think could have happened?”

“I have no idea,” sighed Harry, “I can’t think of anyone who would have wanted to remove his body. What would be the point?”

“The Daily Prophet suggested that someone close to Snape did it. Someone in love with him, for example. They removed the body to bury it themselves”. 

“That’s always possible, of course,” said Harry, “But nobody knew he was there. And the Shrieking Shack isn’t exactly the place for visitors, who could accidentally hit upon a dead body. The Ministry didn’t even know where to look for Snape until I had told them”. 

“You weren’t followed when you went in search of him during the Battle?”

“No, we were hiding under the Invisibility Cloak. Noone saw us”. 

“I see… Well, I was hoping we could find an explanation between us and think about a suitable statement for the Daily Prophet, so that they finally stop their ridiculous articles. I think it’s highly unfair to write such nonsense about a person who can’t even defend himself”. 

“I agree,” said Harry, “I have been looking for ways to stop their silly articles about my mother too, but there’s nothing illegal in them. Irritating as they may be, you can’t accuse them of spreading indignities or anything”.  

“Still, I think it’s a cowardly thing to do. All right, Potter, there’s nothing we can do about it, unfortunately”. 

“Have you thought about his portrait, Professor?”

“Yes, good of you to remind me. I made inquiries. Since Severus died after he had resigned as Headmaster, the portrait has not come automatically, as you know. And therefore, we can only hang a still portrait, so to speak”. 

“You mean an unmoving picture? Like a muggle painting?”

“Yes. Well, the other Headmasters don’t seem to have any objections against such a portrait and therefore, I can’t see why we couldn’t have it made”. 

“Is there no existing portrait of Snape?”

“No, nothing,” said McGonnagle, “We don’t even have a picture of him, except for the ones the Daily Prophet have managed to lay their hands on, which, I think, are details from group pictures”. 

“And do we have any of those? Like staff pictures or something?”

“Yes, we do. I managed to find back quite a recent one which I am now sending to a portrait artist”. 

“Sounds good”. 

“Yes, well… it’s as you said, it’s the least we can do”. 

Harry nodded. 

“Have you made up your mind yet?” she asked.

“About finishing the seventh year, you mean? Well, in fact, Kingsley has offered to take me on as a trainee”. 

“I think that is a very interesting offer, and it is in line with your ambitions,” said McGonnagle as she rose to her feet, “Well, I would have been delighted to have you as a student once again, but I think the Aurors can teach you more now than we could do”. 

“Perhaps. I would have loved to come back to Hogwarts, though”. 

“Half of the place is still in ruins”. 

“You have made great progress restoring it,” said Harry generously, “I’m impressed. I’m sure it will be more than enough for the students to be able to study properly again”. 

“We are doing our best,” She stretched her hand towards him, “Thank you, Potter, and good luck at the Ministry”. 

“Thank you, Professor. Goodbye”. 

 

“Have you been reading the papers?”

Billie looked up from the hands she had been warming between hers and met Dr Afzelius’s eyes. 

“Yes. Quite a commotion isn’t it?”

“The Prophet has caused a real hunt for his body. Unbelievable”. 

“I know. Is he still registered as Peter Matthews?”

“Yes, don’t worry,” he assured her. 

“Good… We have to cover his presence until Severus decides he is ready to come out into the open. He’s the only person who can decide this”. 

And there was another reason. Billie was terribly superstitious when it came to Severus’s recovery. Spreading the word that Severus had not died was as much as tempting fate, because up till now it still wasn’t sure that he would make a recovery. His eyes were often open but still unseeing; his limbs still made spasmodic movements, or they stayed completely still for hours on end, like this time.

“You’re quite right,“ said Dr Afzelius, “Well, I should be going now. I have to say that you’re doing really well as a physiotherapist. Severus is in safe hands”. 

“Thanks,” she smiled, “Miss Swivelly did a good job explaining the techniques”.

And then she gasped. 

“Doctor! He’s following you!”.

“What?”

The black eyes had indeed shifted a little as the Healer walked away from the bed. 

Dr Afzelius immediately hurried over to where Severus was sitting.“They aren’t moving now,” he muttered as he slowly moved a finger to and fro at a mere inch of his eyes.

“No, but I’m sure they were”. 

“Couldn’t it have been the play of light and shade?”

“Perhaps…” Billie said hesitatingly. 

“Well, I really have to go now. Call me if it happens again”.

As soon as the doctor had left, she shuffled a little closer to Severus.

“Are you waking up, Severus?” she whispered as she let her fingers run through his soft hair. The herbal shampoo Miss Swivelly had advised her to use on him was doing miracles. “Have you decided to come back? Oh, I do hope you have. Now that Voldemort is dead and peace is restored you could finally lead a quiet, carefree life”. She leaned closer to him and kissed his lips.

His hands started to move again but this time she had a feeling his movement was a little more controlled, as if he wanted to do something but couldn’t precisely command it. 

She lay her hand in his and immediately felt a sort of pressure. 

“Severus? Do you hear me? Can you press my hand if you hear me?”

But that was asking too much. The hand did not move. 

She looked up into his face just in time to see a tiny movement in his eyes. 

“Severus? Oh God…” His eyes had shifted again. She jumped up and burst out of the room. 

“Miss Swivelly?” she shouted when she spotted the nurse at the end of the corridor, “Miss Swivelly please!”

The nurse instantly dropped the bedpan she had been carrying, sending its unsavoury content all over the place, but before she could clear it away Billie had grabbed her arm and was pulling her towards Severus’s room. 

“He’s waking up!” 

His hands, and now also his legs were still moving, and his eyes were open. Dr Afzelius, who had come as soon as he had heard Billie shouting in the corridor, leaned over to him and examined his pupils. 

“Yes…” he muttered, “He is coming… “

Billie made a little jump in the air with excitement. “Really? Oh Severus…”

“Careful, Miss Matthews, we shouldn’t force him. You will have to be very patient. We still don’t know what his mental condition is”. 

They stayed about half an hour longer but nothing much changed. The hands, eyes and feet moved occasionally but never very focused, until the eyelids became heavy and he sort of dropped off again. 

 

Still, it marked the beginning of a very slow but steady progress. By the end of that week Severus was systematically following moving people in the room and making uncontrolled movements whenever he was touched, or held by Billie, but that was all the response he gave. 

In the next week, Billie got the feeling that he heard her. Especially when she called his name he shifted a little. The more he responded, though, the more his eyes closed again and he dropped off, as if the effort of giving a reaction exhausted him.

But to Billie, this progress was immensely important. According to Peter, at whose place she was staying now, she found herself in a state of constant delirium.

“You’re exaggerating,” she laughed. 

“Not at all. I don’t even have to put the lights on in the evening the way you sit beaming here”. 

But when the day finally arrived when there was <i>real </i>interaction with Severus, she  was completely over the top. 

It happened just as she walked in, greeted himand sat down next to him. 

He grunted.

“Severus, can you hear me?”

He gave a tiny nod. His movements had become a lot less spasmodic and more precise for some time already, but they still happened at random. This time though, it was completely different.

“Oh God, Severus… really? Can you really hear me?”

He grunted again, and when she threw her arms around him and pulled him close, delirious with relief, she felt his arm weakly move against her waist. 

“My love… my sweet love… Oh, I’m so glad!” she pushed her wet face into his hair and nearly suffocated him in her tight embrace.

When she released her grip somewhat and leaned back to have a better look at him, she found him watching her in silence. It wasn’t staring anymore: he really did study her, but she wasn’t sure if he recognised her and she didn’t dare to ask him. Even if he was completely awake now, his mind still seemed miles away.

She decided not to press him too much, as Dr Afzelius had advised her to do, and let him rest his eyes on her. They sat like that for a long while; Severus probably trying to recollect some of his thoughts and Billie merely enjoying his conscious self. It was a magical moment. 

 

In the coming days it wasn’t quite clear how aware Severus was of anything; whether he remembered things or recognised Billie. He sat watching her, apparently with interest, and he slept a lot, until after a day or two, Billie picked up her courage and started to talk about recent events again. 

His face remained expressionless when she told him about Voldemort’s downfall, the Battle, the court cases that had started against Ministry officials -the Death Eaters would not be brought in until later that fall- and Harry’s recent appointment as a trainee at the Auror’s office. 

When she mentioned the latter, a frown appeared between his eyebrows. 

“What is it?” she asked, “Do you doubt it’s a good idea to have Harry trained as an Auror?” 

Perhaps, he didn’t like it when she talked about Lily’s son …  But it didn’t look as if she had upset him. He looked puzzled rather.

He looked her straight into the eyes, and to Billie it seemed as if he urgently wanted to say something but couldn’t. He took a couple of breaths as if he were preparing himself for a jump over a high fence or something and then, finally, something escaped his lips. 

“Po… Pot… ”.

“Potter? What about Harry Potter, Severus?” asked Billie.

But Severus merely shook his head, sighed and lay back in the cushions. Billie saw that the effort had exhausted him again and so she just sat and waited for him to close his eyes and fall asleep. 

But then he grabbed her hand and looked up at her again. 

“Potter,” he whispered, “Dead?”

“Is he dead?” asked Billie, “Is that your question? No, he’ s not dead at all. He has just started his training at the Auror’s office under Kingsley Shacklebolt”. 

“V…? Vol…?”

“Voldemort? Yes, Voldemort’s dead, thank God,” but to her surprise, Severus started to shake his head. “What do you mean he’s not dead? You don’t believe he’s dead, is that it?”

He nodded. 

Merlin, it couldn’t be true!

Fighting a heavy panic she grabbed his hand.

“But he is! He had split himself in several pieces and Harry destroyed them all. We were there when he did it, you know, in that forest, when that black thing came out of the loket that Ron destroyed with the sword. Do you remember?”

He nodded, but she could tell that he was still not satisfied. He wasn’t capable of expressing his thoughts, though, and so he gave up, lay back again and closed his eyes. 

Billie stayed a while longer, and then decided to go back to Peter’s house. She was more than happy with the progress Severus had made that day. The rest would probably come in the next days and weeks. At least she was convinced now that he would make a recovery, and that was a lot more than she had dared hope for in the days and weeks before. 

Although the possibility that somewhere, a part of Voldemort was probably still in existence seriously overshadowed her happiness.

 

Severus visibly progressed now. The next day, Billie found him levitated by a nurse who was trying to get him stand on his feet and walk again, which he managed to do after a couple of days already. His speech remained elementary at first, but after a week or so, they really managed to have short conversations, during which Billie updated him on the latest events. At first, Billie deliberately avoided the subject of Harry and Voldemort, because she felt that there was something upsetting about it for him, but there was plenty of news on new appointments at the Ministries, prosecutions of Death Eaters and other followers of Voldemort, and reinstated wizards and witches.

Until he suddenly brought up the subject himself. 

“If I understand well, nobody questions the news of the Dark Lord’s destruction?”. 

“A few die-hards still deliberately refuse to believe it, and many people are hesitant because they are afraid that it will turn out not to be true after all, like it did last time, but the general feeling is optimistic,” said Billie. 

“And Harry Potter is well?”

“Yes”. 

“Then I am afraid the Dark Lord cannot have been destroyed”. 

The vague, uncomfortable feeling that had lingered somewhere deep inside her ever since he had uttered his first words, instantly turned nasty. Her heart missed a few beats and she grew incredibly cold. 

“What do you mean, Severus?”

He took a while to make up his mind whether he should tell her or not, but then lay back, shook his head and closed his eyes. She let him rest. 

He didn’t bring it up anymore and Billie didn’t want to push him either. She supposed he would tell her more in due time, whenever he felt up to it, but the matter didn’t leave her worried mind. 

 

During one of her visits to the Burrow a few days later, she was seated at the kitchen table with Molly, Ginny and Harry, and when the former two left for Ginny’s room to check on a dress that needed mending, she suddenly found herself in the situation where she could finally learn something more. 

“Harry, I had a somewhat strange conversation with… <i>someone</i>… sometime ago. They seemed to doubt Voldemort’s death”. 

“Yes well… many people do,” shrugged Harry.

“No, but this is different”. 

“Why?”

She chose her words carefully. “They hinted at a connection between you and Voldemort. I hope I’m not offending you, Harry, but they seemed … surprised that you should be alive when Voldemort should be dead. For some reason, they didn’t think that could be possible”. 

Harry frowned. “Who were they?” he asked curiously.

“I can’t tell you. I’m sorry”. 

They were silent for a while. Harry waited for her to reveal the name anyway, which she didn’t, and Billie thought of the way to best formulate her next question.

“Do you have any idea where that belief comes from?” she finally asked.

He hesitated. “I do. But I can’t think of anyone who should know about this”. 

“I don’t think their name is important,” said Billie, “but… is their fear well-founded?”

“No,” he said, “It isn’t”. 

“So there was no link? Or not one you were aware of?”

“I was aware of it. Snape managed to pass me that information before he died”. 

He carefully studied her face. “Is this something you have discussed with Snape?”

Billie received a slight shock. But before she had the chance to reply he went on. 

“I know that you have been with him in the Forest of Dean. You were there, weren’t you? What exactly have you seen there?”

“Severus made sure you could find the sword,” she said, “And then we saw you, or rather Ron, use it against the thing that came out of a pendant or something”. 

“So you saw what came out of the locket?”. 

Billie nodded. 

“And do you know what it was?”

“I think it was a piece of Voldemort. It was his voice, and I know he had found a way to split himself up or something, and that you destroyed all these pieces”. 

Harry nodded. “Except for one”, he added, “the one that was inside of me. A part of him settled itself on me when he killed my parents and failed to kill me too”.

“Is that the link there is between you?”

“<i>Was</i>” he corrected her<i>, “</i>There used to be a link but Voldemort destroyed it himself”. 

“Voldemort destroyed that part? But how could he do that without killing you at the same time? That’s probably why S … <i>somebody</i> thinks you can’t be alive, isn’t it?”

It took a while before Harry answered that question. 

“His wand was not strong enough to kill me. At that moment, I was more powerful than he was, so he only managed to destroy his own bit”. 

“I see… So we can rest assured?”

“Yes,” smiled Harry, “He’s definitely dead. Before he died, I could physically feel that link between us in my scar, and I don’t feel anything anymore. I suppose that’s some sort of proof then”. 

Billie let a sigh of relief. If Harry was speaking the truth, it was more than one would ever have thought possible, and nearly too good to be true. Voldemort dead; peace resorted; Severus soon his normal self again…

“There is one thing I don’t understand, though,” said Harry, “It <i>was</i> Snape who told you about the link between Voldemort and me, wasn’t it?”

“No, he didn’t tell me that”. 

Harry’s eyes narrowed. “So how did you know then?”

“I didn’t. I’ve told you that someone thought you couldn’t have finished Voldemort off completely without being killed too. But they didn’t specifically call it a link”. 

“I see… so it couldn’t be Snape. Because Snape died before Voldemort did”. 

“I can’t say anything more, Harry,” said Billie, “I know you deserve an explanation, especially you of all people, but I can’t give you that now; not until they decide to speak to you themselves”.

“All right,” said Harry, “I don’t like it but I appreciate it. Whoever they are, I hope they were on my side at least”

“Yes, of course they were. I wasn’t in touch with anyone who wasn’t”.

“Good,” said Harry. 

And that’s when their conversation came to an end, because Molly, Ginny and George were entering the kitchen, ready for tea.

 

“Do you think that is possible, Severus?”

He cast her a sideways glance. He was quite absent-minded today, and not in the best of temper. Billie had the feeling that he had trouble concentrating. They were standing at the window, overlooking a sad courtyard that hardly caught any light of the grey autumn day.

“I mean that Voldemort couldn’t kill Harry because his wand was not powerful enough?”. 

“Possibly”, said Severus, but he gave no inclination that he was going to say anything more on the subject. 

But then, suddenly, completely unexpectedly, he became angry of some sort and launched an attack on her. “Have you been discussing me?”

“If you wonder if I informed Harry about your survival and your doubts about Voldemort’s death: no I didn’t”. 

“But you deemed it necessary to discuss your involvement with me in the last months”. 

“No,” she said, rather nettled, “The Weasleys have always known that I believed in you, and since Harry is living there now he obviously knows it too, but I can’t see what’s wrong with that”. 

She felt no need to admit that she had told them about her presence in the Forest of Dean… not as long as he was in this foul temper.

“The Nurse has just approached me in the corridor”, said Billie after a while, in an effort to get him in better spirits again “Since you have made such good progress they would like to dismiss you from the hospital very soon”. 

He was listening with his face turned towards the window again.

“And so I had been thinking… ‘ she continued, little encouraged by his impassiveness, “Erm… since you’re not a hundred percent recovered yet, I was wondering if you would like to stay at my parents’ place? There’s plenty of room; my dad’s either buried in his lab or lecturing somewhere in Oxford and my mum’s travelling half of the time, so you would hardly be disturbed”. 

In the uncomfortable silence that followed and during which he slowly turned towards her, his expression very gradually switched from barely concealed anger to sheer fury.

“I will do nothing of the sort”, he snapped. 

“What’s wrong with my proposal?” asked Billie coolly. She hadn’t expected him to jump up for joy, but a polite refusal would have been more appropriate.

He turned so that he was facing her directly. “Who are you to judge whether I am fit to leave the hospital and live on my own or not?” he sneered and crossed his arms over his chest like he had done so many times in his class at Hogwarts when he was criticising or scolding some student. “I do not need to be patronised, least of all by you. I think you have done that long enough now”. 

Her mouth fell open in utter astonishment, and her cheeks prickled as if they both had received a hard slap. 

“I think it’s high time for me to be left in peace and for you to make yourself useful in life. I do not know where your fascination for me comes from but I think it is high time you realised a few things about me," he snapped, his black eyes flashing like razor blades, "Firstly, I am not the nice person you would want me to be. I have joined the Death Eaters with the utmost determination and only turned my back against the Dark Lord because I seeked revenge for the person he had taken away from me. Secondly, I am far from convinced that I should be here, in a world that bears absolutely no attraction to me, in which not one person lives I care or have ever cared about, and I do not think that you will be the one to change my mind”. 

That was enough. She was so shocked and humiliated and furious that she didn’t even dream of wasting any words on a suitable reply. And she was definitely not going to let him offend her any further. 

She furiously turned away from him; grabbed her bag and coat and left the room without a single glance backwards. The tears would have to come later.


End file.
